Black Listed
by thestarsaresobrighthere
Summary: You've Been Black Listed. At Hogwarts, circa 1975, those words are whispered in dreams: it opens a news article that says that she's dating Sirius Black. But inside is the airing of your secrets, written by a Hogwarts student for Hogwarts students about the all drama the school has to offer. All girls dream of it except four: because they're writing it, and just try to catch them.
1. Number 43

**Disclaimer: anything you recognize is Queen JKR's and any thing you don't recognize is mine, so deal with it.**

**So, Hi! Some of you may know me from Afraid of Greatness, and I'm well aware I need to do something other than Sirius/OC, but this was something that stuck in my head, so here it is!  
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**And i know that laptops aren't exactly a 70's invention, but it is fanFICTION so I think we can all deal with it!  
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**Read, Review, and Enjoy,  
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**Stars.  
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"Black! Would you like to explain to me _why _my bras all say 'once you go Black, you never go back' on them? Because I'm damn sure that I didn't buy them like that." He grins at me and I dearly want to slap the look straight off his face.

"Ah, Holmes, I knew you loved me but this is all a little ridiculous." I pull out my wand and he backs away a little warily. My words may be empty, but once the wand was out, the gloves were off, so to speak. Dorea Potter walked by and she tsked at us,

"No fighting kids." I slip my wand back into my back pocket and glare at my housemate.

"Sorry, Dorea." We both say. I've lived here at Potter Manor since I was about nine, and Sirius Black was a recent addition to the casa de Potter, this only being his second summer living here. My mom died when I was nine and my father even before that. I barely even remember his face. I _do _know that when he was alive he was a good friend of Charlie Potter, Dorea's husband and James' dad. He was an Auror like my foster dad and mom. Like what James wanted to be. And Lynn and Carrie as well. I suppose I should count Black too, as he like, the other three, wants to be an Auror. To bad I don't really like him.

My next piece popped into my head: 'Sirius Black: Tool, or Dick?' except I couldn't do that, mainly because I can't use the word dick in public writing and it would be obvious who had written it. I groan to myself and jab him in the chest with my wand and said,

"Seriously, Black, do it again and you'll lose your balls." I stalked off and continued to pack my things for my week-long stay with the girls at Lynn's house. I was leaving tomorrow and _couldn't _wait until I had almost a month of Black-free living. Just as I was finishing repairing my bras, I heard a shrill yell of

"Siri!" Who the Hell is that? Then I hear,

"Hey, Jessie, how are you, babe?" I sigh and check off number 43 out of 60 on my mental list. Jessica Allison, Hufflepuff Seventh Year, check. That left, what? 12 to go, Black? I silently asked him in my imagination. I sighed and intensely hoped that their relationship, if it could even be called that, would fall through before the start of the school year, lest I, along with the rest of the Seventh Year, be forced to endure passionate make-out sessions during and between my classes.

I make a mental note to write Lily, Carrie, and Lynn on the newest victim of the Black List and resume packing.

Muggle laptop? Check. Pants? Check. Shirts? Check. Un-Blacked bras? Check. Underwear that Black hadn't damaged (I checked)? Check. School trunk? Check.

With nothing else to do, I scribble a quick note to Lily:

_43. Jessica Allison._

_Nat_

I knew that by the time it returned to me, all of the girls would have signed it and passed it on to someone that hadn't signed, until the last person, would send it to me. I walk over to the fireplace in my room and place it behind the grate and toss a handful of Floo Powder in with it, with the direction of,

"Evan's house, blue bedroom." The note vanished, with the trick I had discovered with the girls in Third Year. I sigh and someone knocks on my doorframe, as the door itself was open. I glance up to see James in the doorway. I wave him in and he grimaces at me and I snicker a little and say,

"Close the door, Jamie." He scowled at the nickname I gave him when I was about four, but he says nothing and closes the door behind him. He sits on my bed and I laugh at his expression.

"So, how's the new girlfriend?" he rolls his eyes and flops down dramatically,

"Oh, Nattie, it's so horrible! I didn't even know people could be that dumb! She asked what my mom's last name was! She knows this is my house and she _asked my mom what her last name is_!" I laugh then sigh,

"How long do you think she'll last?" James considers it,

"Hmm, seeing as she's a bottle blonde, _really _dumb, and kisses his ass, I'll be generous and give her a month." I whistle. Almost none of Sirius' 'relationships' made it a month. And there were _a lot_ of them. 43 of them to be exact.

"I'll so take that bet Potter. How much?"

"5 galleons."

"You're so on. Prepare to lose your ass." We shake on the deal and I lay on the floor, with him on my bed,

"Hey, Nattie?" I prop myself up on my elbows to look at him.

"Hm?"

"Do you think that Lily will ever like me?" I sigh and run my hands through my hair,

"I think she might. The best suggestions I can give you, I've already told you a million times."

"Can you tell me again?" I groan as I bury my head in my arms but concede.

"Stop asking her out, talk to her like a normal person, stop hexing people for the hell of it, can you at least try to listen to me this time?"

"There's something I have to tell you. I haven't told anyone because Sirius will take the piss out of me for it when he finds out."

"Yeah…are you into drugs or something, because if you are—"

"I'm Head Boy."

"WHAT?!"

"Shh. I got the letter this morning. I haven't told Mom or Dad yet though." I sot next to him on my bed,

"Look, James, I don't know if Dumbledore hit his head or something, but I'd take it as a compliment, and hey, who knows? Maybe the old guy's playing matchmaker for you. Lily _does _love those responsible boys." Just then the fireplace lit up and there was my note sitting in it, now covered in the other girls writing as well as my own. It would make the circuit again, this time no one writing, just reading. I get up and open it.

My note was first:

_43. Jessica Allison._

_Nat_

Then Lily:

_17 to go. P.S. I'm Head Girl, I just got the letter this morning!_

_Lily_

Then Lynn:

_What a douche. And Congrats Lils!_

_Lynn_

Then Carrie:

_Oooh, snap! And go Lily!_

_Carrie_

I smile and stick it back into the fire, with the same instructions as before. I turn back to my adoptive brother and smile as I pat him on the head.

"Dumbledore's a tricky old man. Lily was made Head Girl." His eyes light up and he whoops.

"Do you know how cool this is going to be Nat? We'll have our own dorm, a Heads Tower, and we can all hang out there! You, Lily, Lynn, and Carrie, and me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter! This is going to be freaking amazing! Seventh Year, here we come!" He runs out of the room, yelling for his mom, and i chuckle and lay down on my recently empty bed.

I pull my computer out of my bag and open a word document and type the new heading:

_Jessica Allison:You've Been Black Listed_

She didn't know what she was in for.


	2. We ARE Important, Aren't We

**Disclaimer: not mine :(**

**Hey! Two in a row! So, this is kind of a long chapter, well, both have been so far, and I'm really happy with how this one turned out! :) Keep in mind they're going into their Seventh Year, and that means that Jilly is getting closer and closer with every chapter.  
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**Read, Review, and enjoy,  
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**Oh, and there are pictures of them on my profile, so check it out if you're interested :)  
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Of course, I'll have to wait until we're back at school to publish, or Black will figure out pretty quick that his housemate is publicly bashing all of his girlfriends and his overall character on an almost monthly basis, I do write about other things, you know.

"Nat! Dinner!"

"'Kay!" I yell back, and quickly lock my computer. Can't have Black finding background checks run on all of his girlfriends, can we? Like he could figure out how to run a computer anyways, that moron.

"Natalia! Now!"

"I'm coming!" I yell again as I run out of my room and down the stairs into the dining room, where James, bless him, had a seat saved for me between himself and Charlie. Sirius is across from James and Jessica Allison is next to him, which meant that I'd be directly across from number 43. Huh, might as well, get dirt on her from herself. Charlie and Dorea were at the heads of the table and as I take my seat 43 smiles at me.

"Hi, Natalia! Why are you here?" I start at her blunt question and answer just as bluntly,

"I live here."

"Why don't you live with your parents?" she responds and everyone (yes, even Black) groans simultaneously. I don't bat an eye and answer her blandly,

"They're dead." She gasps and she says,

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I wave her off,

"No worries. It happened a long time ago." James then strikes up a conversation with me and I gratefully smile at him.

"So, Nat," he stops the 'Nattie' calling with the appearance of other people, "did you know you were looking at Gryffindor's newest Quidditch captain?" I choke on my pumpkin juice and sputter out,

"Congratulations!" through the orange liquid. As my sinuses clear I say, "Well, the cups pretty much in the bag then, huh?" I give him a look that says 'Head Boy and Quidditch Captain? My, my, we _are_ important this year, aren't we?' He discreetly flicks me off as his parents are paying more attention to 43 and Black than us. _Hmm,_ I think to myself as James goes on about how this was going to be a revolutionary year for the Gryffindor Quidditch program, _maybe I could run an article for him, something nice, but with a little jab about getting the girl, who knows? She might notice all the responsibility he's taking on and like it._

"Nat!"

"Huh?" I look up, surprised to hear my name being called.

"What time does Lynn want you at hers tomorrow?" I smile and easily answer Dorea.

"Her mom says she doesn't care, so probably like noon." Okay, that's a lie. Lynn's mom doesn't exactly know that we're going to be at her house tomorrow, or at all. She is currently on a two-month honeymoon with her psychopathic husband, as of last night. But, Lynn decided that what her mom didn't know wouldn't hurt her and invited us over, knowing that we wouldn't trash the house. We'd all be long gone by the time her mom got back, the beginning of October, and she'll never be the wiser.

"Okay, sweetie, are you taking the Floo?" I nod and take a bite of my potatoes. I spend the rest of dinner in silence, thinking about tomorrow, and how it can't get here any faster.

As the night wears on, I discover that Jessica Allison will be staying here, in a guest room, until school resumes. I smirk at James and he scowls and mouths 'lucky' to me. I stick my tongue out at him and announce that I'm going to bed.

I wake up to James shaking me awake at like, 2 in the morning.

"Jamie, wha—what's going on?" My eyes focus as I pull out my wand. I look at him and he looks like he's having a hard time keeping his dinner down.

"Can I stay in here tonight?"

"Sure, I guess, why?"

"Sirius and Jessica Allison are having really loud sex next door to me." I laugh once and say,

"I feel your pain. You call her that too! Actually, wanna go record them?" He laughs and nods. I grab my computer and we both slip into James room, which is within earshot of the loud noises coming from next door. I laugh and mutter,

"Oh, my God. She's a screamer." Jamie chuckles and I hit record on my computer. He whispers to me,

"What we really need is for him to say her name and vice versa." I nod and figure if we wait long enough, something new and different would happen. And sure enough, after not even a minute, there's a shout of "Jessica" and then a subsequent yell of "Sirius". I snicker and turn my computer off and we both slip off into my room, a safe distance from the shouts of the happy couple in the other room. I feel my exhaustion and crawl into my bed, which is jammed up against the wall. James lays down next to me, like how we used to sleep when we were kids, and I close my eyes.

"Night, Jamie."

"Night Nattie."

I wake up the next morning and James is gone, which is not surprising, seeing as Black would never let him live it down.

I sit up and yawn, stretching out my muscles. I check the time and yelp. 11:23. Crap. I get up and run out of bed downstairs, where Dorea, I love her so much, is waiting with a plate of food. I inhale as much as I can and thank her through a mouthful of bacon. She laughs and tells me to chew with my mouth closed. James is sitting at the table with Sirius and 43 and he winks at me and says,

"Cutting it a little close, huh, Nat?" I yell back,

"Shut it Potter!" as I sprint up the stairs and into the shower. I take a record-breaking shower (well, for me. 15 minutes is nothing). I shove on a pair of white short shorts, a dark brown belt, and a tight black tank top with a sheer flowery top over that. I pull my blonde hair up in a loose ponytail and put some eyeliner around my blue eyes. I pull on a pair of flip-flops on and shrink my trunk and bags down to a manageable size. I check my time and grab my laptop, slipping it into its sleeve. I run down stairs, with 5 minutes to spare. Dorea, Charlie and James are waiting to see me off, Black and Jessica Allison probably, erm, otherwise occupied. Dorea kisses my forehead and says,

"Now, we'll see you on the platform on September 1st, but just incase we can't find you, I want you to have a good year, do well on your NEWTS and for God's sake, don't blow anything up. Again." I grin as she fidgets with my clothes.

"Dorea, I'll be fine. As always." I hug her and then Charlie hugs me and whispers,

"Knock 'em dead, Kiddo. You absolutely have my permission to blow things up. 100%." I grin even wider as I go to say good-bye to Jamie for the next month,

"See you on the train, you big egotistical maniac." He grins and says,

"Well, I got reason now, don't I?" I frown.

"Please take what I said into consideration when you see Lily. Please Jamie." He nods and hugs me,

"I will, Nattie. Have fun and enjoy no sex-sounds for the next month." I grin into his shoulder and step into the fireplace and yell,

"McGonagall House!" Yeah, well Lynn McGonagall is Professor Minerva McGonagall's niece, and there's nothing she loves to do more than make her aunt's hair turn grey. It's hilarious.

Anyways, I stumble out of the fireplace, and look around, dropping my stuff on Lynn's kitchen floor. There's no one in the room and I yell,

"Lynn? Hello? McGonagall!" She comes into the kitchen and we both squeal,

"Bitch!" I grin and hug her tightly. Yeah, we insult each other. We're _those_ type of friends.


	3. Let's Destroy Her

**Disclaimer: not mine :(**

**So, no one get used to the everyday thing, I'm on break and I'm enjoying this just as much as the people reading it, but come next Monday, I won't be able to spend three or four hours a day writing 4,000 words at a time, at my most creative time, which is unfortunately, right in the middle of the day. So I LOVE the last sentence in this one, and I hope you guys like it too.  
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**Read, Review, and Enjoy,  
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**Stars.  
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Lynn helps me pick up my bags and asks,

"So, how's living with the Potters? Or should I say, living with Black?" I snort and laugh,

"Okay, so you're never going to believe—actually, what am I saying, it's Black, of course you will. So, James wakes me up at like 2 in the morning last night and is like 'can I stay in here tonight?' and I was like 'okay, but what's going on?' so he said and I quote 'Sirius and Jessica Allison are having really loud sex in the room next to me'. I kid you not. So then I was like, oh my god, I need to have proof and dirt for the Black List so we go into James' room and I record it. The best part: she's a screamer." Lynn bursts our laughing.

"Are you fucking with me?" I shake my head.

"Nope. I'll show you when the others get here." She leads me to the living room, where all the furniture has been shrunk and presumably put in a safe place. In its stead, there are mattresses covering half of the room and a desk with a computer charger on it, with four chairs next to it. The TV is hanging on the wall and there is some stupid soap playing in the background.

"L, this place looks amazing." She smiles.

"Tha—"

"Lynn? Hello?" We grin at each other and say to each other,

"Lily." We both run into the kitchen and Lils smiles at both of us. We all scream.

"Lynn! Nat!" she yells.

"Lily!" we scream back. We all hug and she smiles.

"How were your summers?" Lynn says hers was good and I make a noncommittal answer. Then comes the dreaded question,

"So, do you guys know who the Head Boy is?" Lynn shakes her head 'no' and I say nothing, which doesn't go by unnoticed.

"Nat? Who is it?" She expects Remus, Hell, she might even expect Gilderoy Lockhart, that prick, but she doesn't expect,

"James." She looks at me blankly,

"James what?"

"Lils, James Potter, you know, the one I live with, is Head Boy." She laughs,

"Ha-ha. Seriously, who is it?" I just stare at her and realization that I'm not kidding dawns on her just as Carrie bursts out of the fireplace.

"Hey girls!"

"WHAT?! Has Dumbledore lost his mind?" Lynn and I smile at the fourth of our group as Lily continues on her tirade and Lynn asks her,

"Hey, Care. Good summer?" Carrie answers her easily, all of us are used to Lily's rants and are now quite talented at talking over them.

"Okay. What's with her?" Lynn grins,

"Potter's Head Boy." Care raises her eyebrows and grins.

"Oh, this is going to make for an interesting year. Potter and Lils in the Heads' Dorm." Lily freezes. She hadn't thought about that, but she was now. I go in for the comfort.

"Lils, it's okay. Look, we'll be by your side through all of it, hell, we'll sleep in the Heads' Dorm if we have to. But for right now just let it go. Let's take solace in 43 and the coming downfall of her reputation." She raises an eyebrow.

"Nat, you're usually not that hard on these girls, just insult their intelligence a little, throw an easily forgettable, yet embarrassing, secret out there and move on." I grin,

"Oh, Lils. This one's way to good to pass up." I quickly relay to them what I told Lynn already and they both laugh and insist I get my computer out, setting it on the ground, to show them. We gather around the computer and I search for the clip titled as '43' and I pull it open to the sounds of Sirius Black and Jessica Allison having sex. Carrie says, like I had,

"Holy shit. She's a screamer. That _is_ good." Lily and Lynn are too busy laughing hysterically to comment. I grin and fall back onto the floor. I pull up the almost empty word document, except for _Jessica Allison: You've Been Black Listed._ Lils says,

"Well, other than that, what do you have on her? As good as that is, you need more to make it good." I sigh.

"Not much. I think I'm going to talk to Jerry about digging into her past. Hey maybe there's a nose job in her past or something." Carrie shrugs,

"Maybe. Are you going to go know?" I nod and ask, as it dawns on me.

"Hey L, what are we gonna do for food?" she smiles,

"Well, we _do_ all have jobs. And can apparate to and from the food store." I nod again and say,

"I'll ask about getting my pay check early this month, seeing as I'm paid the most and we'll be going to Hogwarts next month, as that's free living. Oh, have any of you gone to Diagon Alley to get your stuff yet?" A bunch of shaking heads, "well, you guys can just come with me and we'll get our stuff then." Carrie answers,

"Yeah, I'd like that. And I want to meet this mysterious Jerry that employs you." The other two agree and I take one of Lils' hands, Carrie takes the other, and Lynn holds on to her arm. She apparates us into the Leaky Cauldron with a 'pop!'. We enter the alley and I direct them to the Daily Prophet office, with the other three following, as they've never been here before. I nod to the receptionist and she says,

"Jerry's in his office." I smile and say thanks, and tell her that these are my friends, and they help me write, and she smiles at them and they all introduce themselves to her with smiles.

We all walk to the back of the building and I knock on the editor's door.

"Enter." I open the door and walk in, in front of my friends, who look apprehensive.

"Hey Jerry." Jerry Collins is a man in his mid to late forties, and has graying hair that used to be brown. He dresses in vests and loafers most of the time, but is probably the coolest middle-aged dude I know, except for Charlie. Maybe even including Charlie.

"Ah, if it isn't my Natalia! And friends!"

"Yeah, Jerry, these are my girlfriends, Lily, Carrie, and Lynn. They help me write." He smiles at them genuinely and shakes each of their hands,

"Well, hello you three. My name is Jerry Collins, I am the editor of the Daily Prophet. I am Natalia's employer. How are you girls?" They all smile at his obvious excitement at meeting part of the genius that is our column, "Girls, you don't happen to have jobs, do you?" Lynn answers for all of them, instead of an onslaught of answers,

"We all have summer jobs, but nothing year-round." He smiles charismatically at them and pulls me to the side.

"Natalia, I like them very much, and would like to pay them for their contributions to your column. Would you be okay with me offering them jobs? Your pay would remain the same, and they would get equal to what you do." I smile at him. It hadn't been my intention when I brought them here to get them jobs, but it is an outcome that I'm pretty happy with.

"I'd love that." He smiles and we rejoin the group. They all look at me curiously and I discreetly point to Jerry, who says,

"Girls, it has come to my attention that you contribute greatly to the column, and after speaking with Natalia, I'm going to ask you if you are interested in being paid for your work. You would earn the same as Natalia, and what she makes is not insignificant, especially for a Hogwarts student. You are all seventeen, am I correct?" They all nod and grin, "Yes, well, I see no problem with paying all four of you for your work. Are you interested?" They all grin and look at me and I nod encouragingly. They all say something to the effect of,

"I'd love that." He smiles at them and then calls out to the receptionist,

"Martha? Can you please retrieve Natalia's paperwork? And three blanks as well." A moment later Martha enters with my contract and three blank contracts. Jerry pulls out his wand and copies my contract onto the blacks and modifies the names to what the girls tell them her full name is.

"So you will be employed here for at least the next year, your contract expiring at the same time Natalia's does, at which time, you will be up to resign with us or continue on a different career path. You will each make 1489 galleons, 9 sickles, and 21 knuts **(A.N. roughly equal to 15,000 us dollars or 7,445 pounds)** within the next year. Is this all acceptable?" They all nod and I trust Jerry not to screw anyone over financially. They all sign the contracts and the papers disappear with a small pop and he shakes their hands genuinely, "Welcome to the Daily Prophet girls. Now, Natalia, I assume there's a reason, other than for me to give your friends jobs, that you are all here." I nod and look to the others, whose faces say, 'you talk to him'. I roll my eyes at them and say to our editor,

"Well, actually there are two things, one _way_ more fun than the other."

"Give me the less fun one first."

"We're staying together for the next four weeks and I need my paycheck early this month." He shrugs,

"That's fine, pick it up from Martha on the way out. What's the fun one?"

"We need dirt on one Jessica Allison: anything embarrassing, generally mortifying, or traumatic to the ego." He grins at all of us,

"Another Black List?" I nod and say,

"This one's good. Too good to pass up. Lils, why don't you tell him what we discovered about number 43?" Lily snickers a little.

"She's a screamer." Jerry chuckles and asks, amused,

"How did you girls find this out?"

"Sirius Black now lives with me, and his room is within earshot of my brother's, who can't keep his mouth shut." He laughs and agrees,

"That _is _good. I'll get you girls anything I can by the end of next week, okay?" We all nod, and the other girls thank him profusely for their employment and Martha hands us each an envelope on our way out. She winks and says,

"Jerry is giving you all your checks in advance." We all smile like fools and exit the building.

I turn towards them and we all grin and squeal in excitement. Lynn, Lils and Care all look at me and say,

"Thank you so, so much." I smile and say,

"C'mon, let's go to Gringotts and get these deposited." Jerry pays his employees in vouchers for the money, instead of handing us large bags of galleons every month.

We enter Gringotts and hand the envelopes to a goblin who breaks their wax seals and reiterates to us,

"These are vouchers for 124 galleons, 2 sickles, and 6 knuts each for Natalia Holmes, Lillian Evans, Carriline Yin, and Lynn McGonagall from the Daily Prophet." I nod and say,

"Griphook, these are to kept under the strictest confidence, am I correct?" He nods,

"Of course, Miss. Holmes, as always. This money will be added to your accounts somewhere within the next two hours, if you wish to retrieve it then." we all nod and thank him and head down to the ice cream parlor, to kill time until we could come back.

As we sit an eat out ice cream, Lils asks,

"Are you sure we're not being too hard on her? She's just a person." Just as she says that, the door opens and in walks the happy couple themselves. We all stare at them until they finally look up. Black comes over and sits down. 43 hesitantly follows him and he says, with the air of someone who can't be fooled (which is bullshit),

"Ah, Holmes, long time no see. Where's Mrs. McGonagall?" I sigh and say,

"Remember that threat about losing your balls? Yeah, that still stands." He gulps and stands, eager to be away from me and my apparently temperamental self. Jessica Allison, however, does not get up. Lynn looks at her like she was nuts.

"Can we help you?" she answers Lynn quickly,

"You wish you were as pretty as me, only the best kind of girls get to date Sirius. You're just too uptight." With that they both leave and Lils says,

"Never mind, let's destroy her."


	4. What If

**Disclaimer: :(**

**Hi! Happy New Years everyone! 2013, what? So, this is shorter than last chapter, but not by a ton, so be happy you bunch! The end of the chapter (Nat v. Sirius round 3), where Nat is held back, is used to show you guys that she has a little bit of a problem controlling herself, and kind of needs others to do it for her.  
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**I hope all you guys have a spectacular 2013!  
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**Read, Review, and Enjoy,  
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I grin and say quietly,

"That's the Lily I know and love." Carrie watches their retreating backs and muses,

"Hey guys, what if we brought him down with her?" Lynn asks her,

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what's the one thing Sirius Black can't resist?" I answer her dryly,

"Anything in a skirt?"

"No, well yes, but not what I was going for. A challenge." Lily's eyes light up and I grin. She was right; he could never turn a challenge down. We work on the logistics of this 'challenge' for a bit but when a large group of Hogwarts students who wave to us enter, we are forced to change the topic to our school shopping.

Later that day, we apparate back to Lynn's house and pull our trunks out to put our new schoolbooks and clothes in them.

"Hey guys, check it out." I hear Lils say. We all look up and she's holding a book with hundreds of smaller papers sticking out of it. We all crawl over to where she is on the floor and the book is revealed to be a Muggle photo album of our times at Hogwarts. The first pictures are worn and dig eared but they show the eager faces of eleven year olds in their first dorm together. I am on my new bed and Lynn is looking out the window at the grounds. Carrie's butt is in the shot, as she was leaning down to do something and Lily is taking the picture. There are pictures of Lily and me, Lily and Lynn, Lily and Carrie, me and Carrie and Lynn together.

As we flip through, we all slowly get older, and the last picture is magical, the only one in the whole album, and it is of me at my laptop at my desk in my room at home earlier this summer, with Carrie and Lynn crowded around me. I turn around and see the camera and laugh and the others point to the computer. I flip the camera off and Carrie says something that makes Lynn and I laugh, and presumably Lily does too as the camera shakes in her hands. Lily comes closer and we all squish our faces together into the frame and wave. Our hair is all messy and we are all in sweatpants and tank tops, but we all look so crazy happy, I don't even notice the zit on my chin, or the bags under my eyes because it was 4 in the morning and we had yet to sleep that night. Lynn slowly says what we were all thinking,

"After this year, it's all over. This is it: our last year at Hogwarts, sharing a dorm, spending all hours of the day together. We're on our own after this." We all look at each other and Lily smiles.

"We won't be on our own. We'll have each other. We can all be old farts together after school. We'll raise our kids together, and be at each other's weddings. This isn't the end. And besides, we have another _year _before any of that." We all nod and check the time. It was almost midnight.

"C'mon, we should get some sleep." I say and flop onto the mattresses on the floor with a blanket. I crawl into a corner and say tiredly,

"Night Lils, Lynn, Care."

"Night Nat, Care, Lils."

"Night Care, Nat, Lynn."

"Night Lynn, Lils, Nat."

The weeks passed by and Jerry delivered, as promised, the dirt on Jessica Allison. We had three days before we were heading back to school and we had yet to write a single word. That changed very, very quickly, thanks to four pints of ice cream, some elbow grease, and some ingenuity.

"Natalia Isabelle Holmes, you better haul ass!" I come flying out of the house into the yard that the other three were waiting for me in. I grab Lily's hand and she apparates to King's Cross with a crack. I feel myself land in a broom closet in the train station and easily step out, no one paying attention to the four girls coming out of a tiny broom closet.

We all link arms and head towards Platform 9 ¾ for the last start of the school year we'll ever live. Lils and Carrie head through the barrier then L and I slip through without hesitation, loving the no trolley idea. Well, we actually just had a walk-on bag each, with our trunks and other stuff stowed in them. Lynn and I find the other two and we all smile and I say,

"I have to go find the Potters, see you guys on the train?" They all nod and set off to find their own parents, except for Lynn, who goes with Carrie to see her parents.

I stand on my toes and locate an extremely messy head of black hair and head that way. I see the rest of the head and decide it's actually James and approach. Dorea sees me first and she rushes over to hug me.

"Oh, sweetie how was your stay with Lynn?" I smile and hug her back,

"It was good. We had loads of fun."

"Oh that's good. James for God's sake will you brush your hair?" I lose Dorea's attention and go to say good-bye to Charlie.

"Hey, Kiddo. So, I want you to listen here real quick."

"Yeah, Charlie?

"I know Dorea wouldn't agree with me telling you this, but I want you to live the Hell out of this year. There's a war out there, and you're the young ones in this. They say war is old men talking and young men dying. You don't know what will happen tomorrow, so make today count, okay? And take care of James, will you? He needs someone to cheek in on him every now and then. You're a good kid, Nattie, and don't let anyone tell you different, no matter what you may write about them."

"How did you—"?

"I'm old, Nat, not blind. I noticed when you stopped asking us for money, and I did some research. That column's you, huh?" I smile,

"Me and the girls, yeah." He smiles and hugs me,

"Well you got real talent, even if you're using it to bash someone who is close to my son." I smile and say,

"I'd say I'm sorry if I was, but I'm not. I need the money, and he needs the ego blow." Charlie laughs,

"I'm with you on _that_ one, Kiddo, have a good year, yeah?" I smile and hug him again, before setting off to find the girls.

I hop onto the train and it isn't long before I run into Carrie. She grins and says,

"Hey girl, hey. How are the Potters?" I smile and we link arms and set off to find a compartment.

"Good, Charlie was acting a little weird, but he raised James. And me. How normal can he be?" She laughs and concedes the point,

"What about here?" We walk into the compartment in the third to last cart and I sit leaning up against the window.

"Where are Lils and Lynn?"

"Lils is getting ready for the Prefects meeting and Lynn said she had to pee." I nod and absently say,

"Care?"

"Yeah?"

"What if we lose?" I ask her softly,

"I don't think that will happen." She replies.

"It could. I'll do anything if I'm drunk enough. Lils will be the last one standing, I'm willing to bet." I insist. She sighs and runs her hands through her hair,

"God, I wish L and I didn't have to sit out in this one. He got to us too early." I laugh a little at how she phrases it and ask,

"Is it any good?" She winks and grins a little,

"The best."

"Well, even if we lose our asses, I have something to look forward to."

"What are we looking forward to?" someone asks and in the doorway, lo and behold, is Sirius Black himself. I reply,

"Nothing Black. At least nothing that concerns you." Lie. Carrie adds on,

"Get out. We have things to discuss." Another lie. I smirk and ask him,

"Where's your posse? Did they finally come to their senses?" He smirks back and I fight the urge to brutally murder him on the Hogwarts Express.

"Nah, they love me too much for that. Prongs and Moony are at the Prefects meeting and Wormtail is right behind me. Right Wormtail?" There is an affirmative squeak from behind him that I assume is Peter. I snort and say, rather harshly,

"Come on Black, since when does _anyone_ love you?" His smirk grows and he says,

"All of my girls. Past, present, and future." I open my mouth to say 'they love your abs, not you, not even your own mother can stand you' when Carrie kicks me and gives me the 'don't say it, Nat, I know what's coming and that's crossing the line' look. I shut my mouth and content myself with what was coming to him. Lynn enters and says,

"Piss off Black." He frowns at her and says,

"Nice to see you too, McGonagall." L narrows her eyes and says,

"You better get out of here, don't want people to see you with _uptight_ girls." He scowls and Lils enters the compartment with a questioning glace towards me, which I shake my head to. She turns towards him and says,

"Do you _want_ detention, Black?" He says cheekily,

"Sure, Evans." She grins and I giggle. He apparently missed the Heads can give out detention and dock points memo.

"Fine, a week of detention Black. Happy bedpan cleaning. I'll notify McGonagall when we get to school." She pushes him out of the compartment and we all laugh and high-five her.

I check my watch: four hours until we were at Hogwarts. Four hours until our last year began.


	5. Bring It, Black

**Disclaimer: I would be rich if it was mine, but I'm poor, so there you go. :(**

**HI! So, I hope everyone had a great New Year's Day yesterday! I just, first of all, want to say thank you for all the incredibly kind words I've gotten on this fic. I have big plans for this one and can't wait to really get into the plot! Oh, and THIS IS THE CHAPTER OF THE BLACK LIST, which I really did a couple of ways, and this was the one I liked the best, and I hope that you guys like it too! The illusive 'challenge' is also explained and I really need to stop giving Lily the last lines in chapters, but I love her so much, so I doubt that will happen. :P  
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"So when is Jerry going to publish it again?" Lils asks the carriage occupants at large,

"Um, tomorrow morning, I think." I kind of debated with the others about whether we should be telling the school, or making sure we stayed anonymous, and telling the school had won out, not that they won't be able to guess on their own, seeing as Black had a major habit of sucking face at the house table. Lynn grins,

"I can't wait for this one. The look on his face will be priceless." Carrie giggles and we all shift a little as the carriage stops outside the school. We all rush into the Great Hall to watch the sorting.

9 Gryffindors, 7 Ravenclaws, 9 Hufflepuffs, and a massive 14 Slytherins later, Dumbledore stood for his speech.

"Yes, well welcome to Hogwarts new students, and welcome back to the old! There is something that must be discussed before we become to befuddled by the feast. These are dark times, most of you have no doubt noticed. You should know that we are only as strong as we are united, so it is at this point in our history, this great turning point, that I must ask you to put the silly rivalries away, and to stand together. After the war that is to come, the Wizarding World will never be the same again. Whether it's for the better or worse? Well, that is up to you. Choose your sides wisely, and do not throw away friendships and great loyalties over pettiness. On a happier note, everybody tuck in!" We all look at each other as the food appeared in front of us,

"Well, that was cheery." I say and the other three glumly nod in agreement as they put food on their plates. No one says much at the feast, and I feel infinitely bad for the new First Years, whose first feast is covered in the blanket of fear and hatred and anger of the older students. The First Years who do not know of any war, or deaths, or the disappearances. We do and we know that if it doesn't end in the next ten months, we'll be on the front lines, come graduation in June.

I think of my mother, killed in the raids when I was nine, James' Uncle Matthew, killed in the line of duty, everyone I've ever known who has suffered as a result of a power-sick bastard of a human being. The war has taken its toll on Lily especially; there are nights when she wakes up crying, positive that her parents are dead, killed by Voldemort.

The feast drearily pulls itself to a close and we go to our dorms, respectively, Lily going to the Head's dorm. We promise that we'll stay with her tomorrow night, but need tonight to get settled in to our dorm. She bids us goodnight and we all quietly walk to the Common Room, all mourning for what was to come. The three of us fall into our beds, fully dressed, and I think about the unknown that was to come, and think about the death that was creeping around the corner. I close my eyes and let sleep take me.

_I am in my old house, before the raid that killed my mother destroyed it. She is there with me, sitting in her mom's old rocking chair. She has our old cat, Mittens in her lap and she is smiling at me._

"_Mo—Mom? Where am I?" She smiles at me,_

"_Well, Natalia, where do you think we are?"_

"_Our house?"_

"_Well, it certainly appears that way, doesn't it? Yes, I believe you're right. Darling, I'm here to tell you something important, something you must come to terms with." I nod and sit in the armchair next to where she is, "At this point in your life, you cannot control the war, you are not a fighter, not yet at least, you are still a child, and I hope with all my heart you can remain that way until you have left Hogwarts. The war will not be over by the time you graduate, but you have no need to deal with it now. _

_Charlus was right, there is no certainty in tomorrow, any promise of seeing the Sun come up tomorrow. I am the embodiment of this. I did not expect to die, but I did. You must be young now, for in the years to come, you will age emotionally very quickly. Be a little irresponsible, be cheeky, all of those goofy, young things. Can you do that for me?" I nod and she smiles and runs a hand through my hair, "Good. You are more important than you know, Natalia, more than you can know…"_

"Nat! Natalia Isabelle, get your ass _up_!" I wake up with a jolt and I see Carrie leaning over me with her wand threateningly pointed at my face. I put my hands over my face, protectively, and say,

"Okay, okay, I'm up!" She smiles,

"Good. It's your turn to shower." And tosses me a towel as I grumble about being the Mother Hen.

"What was that?"

"Erm, nothing!"

We all walk down to breakfast anxiously, Lily having entered the Common Room to wait for us. Today was the day that the Black Listed column is going to be in print. Lils, Carrie, Lynn, and I all exchange a look then enter the great hall to wait for the post to arrive. We take our seats and soon, no other than the marauders enter with their usual amount of swag. Which is a lot because they think they're the shit. Spoiler alert: they're not. I smile a little and hope the coming challenge would bring Black down a couple rungs on the ladder of being a dick. The four of us make idle chit chat until we hear the post flying in. An owl drops off a newspaper in front of each of us and there is a note scrawled into the margin of the front page of mine: _nice job -J_

"Hey guys did you get—" the other three answer together,

"Yep." We all casually flip through the paper until outraged gasps and laughter can be heard. Someone comes up to Black, who is sitting down the table from us, with Jessica Allison, and says something that he frowns about. The guy who was talking to him handed him his paper and Black's eyebrows slowly travel farther and farther up his forehead until he gets to the end of the article, where we had laid our challenge, and his eyebrows squish down his face into a scowl.

James makes his way over and whispers to me,

"I can't believe you told Jenny about that tape." I look at him 'confused'

"What are you talking about Jamie? I haven't told anyone." He points to the newspaper I have open to the birth announcements and says simply,

"There's a column in there this week." I flip open to the column and read it. It went a little like this:

_Jessica Allison: You've Been Black Listed _

_As we roll into the 1976-77 school year at Hogwarts, many of you are surely wondering what Sirius Black did during the summer, well, here's your answer: he's been doing Jessica Allison, quite loudly, may I add. An anonymous source has let us in on a secret: Jessica Allison is a screamer. Sorry Jess, cat's out of the bag now. _

_Well some of you girls are surely saying: well she's doing Sirius Black, so I guess it's okay. Well, as Jessie has shown us, this isn't an impossible task, just get a Muggle boob job at the age of fourteen and you're all set! For all you Purebloods out there, a Muggle boob job, consists of silicone implants into the breasts to make your boobs just that much bigger. So, Siri-poo, if you're wondering why your girl's girls are a little hard, it's because they're not real! Whoops, that was supposed to be a secret, wasn't it? _

_Oh, and for those of you who don't believe that first little bit about Jessie being a screamer, we have proof. If any of you Muggle-borns have a computer, go to .com and look around, I'm sure you'll find something worthwhile ;)_

_As Sirius Black approaches the end of his Hogwarts career, we are all asking the same question: will he be able to screw all 60 girls in the upper four years? He's already done 43 of them. So, I'm going to make a bet with Mr. Black: if he manages to do (the girl has to be willing, just by the way) every girl in the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh years, by the end of the school year, I'll reveal my identity to the school._

_Game on Black._

_Love,_

_Jenny_

_Oh, PS: this includes Lily Evans. I'd go talk to Jamesie Potter about whether he'll let you do 'his girl' or not. Have fun!_

I pretend to be shocked and jokingly say,

"Hey Lils we need to be on guard. Looks like Black is going to try to steal our innocence." Lily snorts and I giggle with her. Neither of are virgins, we like to go out too much for that, and I was just trying to freak James out, getting him to think about his best friend sleeping with his 'little sister' and the girl he loves. Carrie and Lynn had both already slept with him in the past and the rest of the girls in this school were all pretty easy when it came to him, so Lils and I were really the only things standing in his way.

So, James being opposed to any kind of escapades between his 'brother' and us is a good thing. James opens his mouth to respond and Black comes storming up and hisses to Jamie, where we were all close enough to hear,

"She is _so_ on." I grin to the other girls and as the boys turn around Lynn shoots us all a thumbs up and I high-five Carrie under the table. I hear Lily say, too quietly for Jamie and Black to hear,

"Bring it Black. Let's see what you got."

**So, I hope you guys liked it! P.S. isn't a real website (I checked), however, I have been tossing around making a blog to go along with this one, I won't do anything if no one mentions it, so if you want to see something like that in the future, please leave it in a review or something, thanks!**

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	6. Beetle's Jog

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**So hi! I'm pretty sure that the last chapter went up kind of weirdly because I had to re-post it about three times before i got an e-mail telling me it was up, so sorry about that guys, I'm pretty sure there was problem with the site! It also came to my attention that the 'website' in last chapter was taken down by the site, so it was (totally unoriginal, by the way) black listed . com minus all of the spaces, of course.  
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**This is a reallyyy long chapter, WAY over where I usually stop, but I just couldn't find a good stopping place!  
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I smirk at her. When did Lily get so witty? Either way, I liked it. It was a nice change for her. I glance up at the teacher's table and see McGonagall choking on her drink, what ever that may be, as she reads the paper. She looks at Black with raised eyebrows and her niece vigorously shakes her head at her, trying to put every obstacle possible between Black and us. L winks at us and we both smile in thanks.

We get our timetables to see, like last year, we have all the same classes together, which would be even better if the Marauders weren't in them with us. Every. Damn. One.

I sigh and Black and Jamie glance down the table at us, mysteriously. I prod Lynn and nod towards them. She puts her timetable down and very slowly, albeit quite loudly, tells them,

"Go fuck yourselves." And then my pumpkin juice came flying out of my nose, onto my plate. McGonagall turns around and says,

"Who just said that? Miss. Evans did you see?" Lily's eyes widen and say,

"I think it was Jessica, ma'm." Mc-G turned her attention to Jessica Allison and asked, smoke pretty much coming out of her ears,

"Miss. Allison, is this true?" she shakes her head, "Well, are you accusing the Head Girl of framing you?" Black opens his big mouth and replies,

"But she didn't say it! It was McGonagall!" Mc-G raises her eyebrows,

"Me?" Black waves his hands around wildly, in confusion probably,

"No! Lynn. Your niece."

"Miss. Evans? Who was it?" Lils looks at her earnestly,

"It was Jessica, ma'm. Isn't that who you heard say it, Nat?" I nod and say,

"It definitely came from that direction." Mc-G sighs and says,

"Miss. Allison, detention tonight."

"_What?_"

"You too Black. Don't talk back to me." Lils jumps in again,

"Oh, and Professor, I gave Black a week of detention as well." Mc-G nods seeming completely unsurprised.

"See me after your last class you two." She walks away and Black looks at us,

"You four are so dead." I smile mockingly at him,

"That's not the start you need to win that little, itty-bitty thing in the newspaper, Black. You're looking at two of the seventeen you need to get with by June." I gesture to Lils and myself. He looks horrified, realization dawning on him. It takes him a moment to get up the courage to swallow his pride.

"I'm sorry, Lily, Natalia. I promise not to kill you." We all get up and Lils says,

"Have fun in detention!" I turn around as we walk away and say,

"Oh, and don't call me Natalia. It's Holmes to you." Lynn and Carrie laugh and we link arms and walk out of the Great Hall to Potions. When we get there, shockingly enough, Slughorn was actually there, just to mix things up. He looks up when he sees us enter,

"Oh, Seventh Years first thing on a Monday! Erm, Potter and Black aren't still in your class, are they?" Lily goes to answer when the two in question waltz in singing,

"Ohhh Sluggy, I love you! Oh, Sluggy, my heart bests for you!" over and over again, at differing tempos, in strange voices. Slughorn puts his head in his hands and says,

"Yes, well, pick a table." The four of us run to a table and drop our stuff there. Black and James come over and try to push Lynn and Carrie out, both of who protest loudly. I turn around and say,

"Professor, Black and Potter are harassing us!" Slughorn doesn't even look up,

"Stop harassing them boys." James says,

"Oi! Since when am I 'Potter' to you?" I wink at him and say sweetly,

"Would you rather be Jamie?" He blushes and says,

"No, no, Potter's good." Slughorn finally turns around and surveys the rest of the empty classroom. We must have been earlier than we thought. He finally says,

"Where's the rest of the class?" he checks the time, "Well, you six are just early, so, let's figure out your seating arrangements for the year, yes?" We all grab hands around the table, and look hopefully at Slughorn.

"I would love to, but I feel it would be best to split these two up, so would one of you be willing to switch with Mr. Potter or Mr. Black?" We all exchange a look and Carrie got voted off the island, mainly because everyone else thought that she would be perfect with Remus and we all also thought that Lily and James would be adorable. So it was really just Lynn and I doing all this planning. Carrie speaks up and says,

"Yeah, I'll switch with one of them." As soon as that's out of her mouth I say loudly, making everyone jump a little,

"We want James." I smirk at Black and Carrie groans as Black tries to swing an arm over her shoulders. She pulls her wand out and says,

"Just try. I dare you." He retracts his arm and Remus comes in alone, as Peter didn't meet the marks for N.E.W.T. potions, he takes a seat next to Carrie and she shoots us a smile that said 'wish me luck'. Remus and Care strike up an easy conversation and Black looks a little put out. Carrie had been in the seat next to me and James sat where she had been, directly across from Lily. I grin and say,

"Hey partner." He grins back and says,

"So, I don't think we've met before. Hi, I'm James Potter, your new potions partner. But because I like you, you can call me Jamie" I laugh and shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Natalia Holmes, _your _new potions partner. You can call me Nattie." He rolls his eyes and I catch Lils watching the whole thing mildly interested. I glare at Lils and Lynn playfully,

"If either of you call me Nattie, however, I _will_ cut you." Lils smirks and says,

"Whatever you say, hm?" I wink and gesture discreetly over to where Remus and Carrie seemed to be really getting along. The other two giggle and then I notice the rest of the class has arrived and Slughorn begins to teach his class (finally).

We migrate to History of Magic and Lils forces us to sit in the front row, not like that means anything in this class, seeing that Binns doesn't even know what year it is, let alone who we are. I take a 'well-deserved' hour-long nap and then we're done for the day. Ah, being able to pick your classes, I love you. We 'pack up' the stuff we never took out and as we walk out I say,

"So, do we have any homework?" Lily looks at me and rolls her eyes but I say, "Aw, come on Lils, I love you! Please!" She caves.

"Fine. No homework. Now go get your stuff. You're staying with me this week." The four of us go to our dorm and Lynn, Carrie, and I collect our stuff, well enough for a week, and we head to an almost unfamiliar part of the castle, which is saying something, considering this is our Seventh Year. Lils smiles to us and says,

"Superior fortitudo." Hm, 'higher strength', indeed. Maybe Dumbledore was trying to be witty again. Probably. He _is _half-nuts, you know. The other half is genius, so I guess it's okay. We walk into a room that looks very much like a smaller Common Room, where there is only one door at the top of each staircase instead of about a million.

Lils grins at us,

"Pretty great, right? I _do _have to share it with Potter, but it's _so_ much quieter than the Common Room, and no one can eavesdrop in my room, so it's worth it." I grin and silently think that one of the perks that she actually enjoyed was sharing it with James, but I might also be insane. Just like Dumbledore. Probably nothing like Dumbledore though.

Carrie waves her wand and all of our stuff vanishes except for our school stuff.

"C'mon, we got a Potions essay due next week, and I guarantee you we won't want to do it after Transfiguration tomorrow. And I'd be willing to bet Kettleburn will assign in CoMC." I groan, knowing she was probably right. I sadly pull out my books, quill and parchment. All review from last year: easy, but tedious.

An hour, a broken quill, and a solid pair of puppy dog eyes later, we were all done with our Potions essays. Lils says,

"C'mon, let's take these up to my room to dry, Potter and them will probably be here sooner rather than later, if I had to guess. And it would be just like them to change the word 'blubber' to 'boobs' or something as equally as stupid." We all exchange a look and agree that she was more than likely right, so we take our essays upstairs to dry, far, _far_, away from the Marauders. I look out her window and marvel at her view. It was beautiful, overlooking the grounds, the Quidditch Pitch out in the distance, the edge of the lake just barely visible through the window.

"Hey, I think I'm going to go for a run, 'kay?" There is a general noise of acknowledgment, and I remember that I left my running stuff in our dorm. I sigh, knowing I'll have to go all the way across the castle. I walk out of the Heads' Dorm with a good-bye from the girls, and head back to Gryffindor Tower. A couple of minutes later, I'm walking into my dorm and shuffling my things around until I come to my running shoes and clothes. I change and leave the dorm in a pair of spandex shorts and a sports bra, with a t-shirt of James' thrown over it, it being far too hot for anything else. I walk down to the Quidditch Pitch and pull the shirt off, the September heat already getting to me. I set off at a steady pace.

I love running. I remember that when my dad died, my mom had started running. When I asked her why she did it, she had answered that it helped clear her head. The pounding would shake all the nasty thoughts from her head and she liked to think that if she ran for long enough, she could out run her problems.

So, when she was killed, I started running, hoping it would help me put my world into perspective a little. It worked marvelously, and it became addicting. I was heavily addicted to the feeling of finishing a run by the age of eleven, so by now, I have pretty good routes set up through the grounds and around the pitch, it was about a mile in total and I usually do it about four or five times.

I finish and walk back to where I put my shirt. When I get there, I see there is a plate of food that says,

_You missed dinner, Beetle. Eat up._

No one has signed it, but that would be unneeded anyways. No one has called me Beetle since I was about 10. It came from my name, Nat, like gnat, which is a kind of bug. So, I became Beetle to the Potter family. I smile and see that James has given me an apple, some pumpkin juice, and a salad. What? I like fruits and vegetables. I eat the salad and chug the pumpkin juice. I throw his shirt over my shoulder, leaving it draped there and thoughtfully munch on the apple on my way up to and through the castle. I dispose of the core I find my way back to the Heads' Dorm and see that Lily was very correct in moving our essays, as all four Marauders were sprawled everywhere. Not a Jessica Allison or dungbomb in sight. Suspicious. James glances up and I smile. He waves me over to their little huddle. I go over to where they're all seated, curious about what he wants.

"Yeah, James? Oh, hey Remus, Peter." I say when I reach them. Black ignores me and Remus and Peter both say hi, so I answer them with smiles.

"Do you think Lily is in love with me yet?" I roll my eyes,

"James, it's only our second day back, somehow I doubt anything has happened yet. Look, just stop asking her out, treat her like you treat me. Okay? Look, I'd love to stay and chat, but I smell like sweat and grass, so bye." I walk toward Lils' stairs when I wheel back around, "Oh, and thanks for the food." He winks and goes back to whatever they were doing before I entered. I almost ask, but figure, not only will they not tell me; I also probably don't want to know anyways. I go up into Lily's room and am immediately assaulted with cheers of,

"She made it!" Lynn smirks and asks,

"Have sex with Black yet?" I mock-glare at her because we both know it's only a matter of time before I do something really stupid like get drunk.

"Gasp! I would never, unlike some Lynn Jordan McGonagall!" She gasps and clutches her heart,

"Your words: they are like daggers to my soul." Lil and Care both throw pillows at us,

"Oh, shut it you two." Lils asks me,

"Hey, Nat, aren't you going to go down and get food?" I smile at her,

"Nah. James left me some food down at the pitch." She raises an eyebrow,

"What did he leave you? A piece of cake?" I laugh and say no. It's a well-known fact that I'm not a real sweets person,

"Nah, he left me some pumpkin juice, a salad, and an apple." She says nothing and I throw my shirt in my bag and ask, "Hey Lils? Can I use your shower?" She nods and says,

"Yeah, through there." And I swear I hear her mutter, 'Potter of all people'. I smirk to myself and think that getting them together is going to be a _lot_ easier than I originally thought.


	7. October 17

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**AND THE PLOT THICKENS. SO this is kind of a dark chapter, but like most dark chapters, it's also really important! I hope you guys like this and I had a hard time coming up with the right way to word Nat's little speech thing about October 17, but I did my best, so i hope you guys like it. :)  
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"I honestly can't believe it's been a month and we're already the last two standing!" Lils says as she storms into her room, where I was hiding from Herbology. What? It's my last period on Friday, and I didn't want to go. So sue me. I look up from my magazine and say,

"Philips is down?" Lils throws herself, as she groans in the affirmative, onto her bed next to me and I ask, "Where are Care and L?"

"Detention. Sprout finally couldn't take them playing catch with her plants. It looks like you're going to be on your own tonight, Nat. I have patrol all tonight with Potter." I sigh and frown. I had been hoping for some company, especially tonight, but Lils didn't have a choice, and how would L and Care know they were going to get detention _today_ of all days for something they've been doing since First Year? It was just rotten luck on my end. Lils rubs my back soothingly,

"Hey, if we happen to see you going down to the Kitchens, we'll turn a blind eye, okay?" I smile and resolve to skip dinner and head down to the kitchens later instead.

"Thanks Lils." She smiles and hugs me,

"Hey, take a nap, and when you wake up, go grab some food. It will make you feel better, promise. I need to go." I smile and as she leaves, I decide to take her advice. I curl up on her bed and close my eyes, letting the darkness seep into my bones and consciousness.

I wake up and it's dark out. I check my watch and it says that it's about midnight. I don't bother with shoes and pad out of Lils' room. I head into James' room and grab the Map off of his bedside table and leave a note that says,

_I'll bring it back in one piece, Jamie. Relax and go to sleep._ I know him too well, honestly. I leave the Heads' Dorm and head across the castle to the Kitchens. I sigh and let my mind wander. October 17. The date pounds in my head, it gives me migraines and makes my hands shake. I start to feel the tears that had been threatening all day start to fall, but I force them to stop as I enter the Kitchens and ask for a tub of cookie dough ice cream, which the House Elves happily deliver, spoon and all.

I slowly head back to the Heads' Dorm, while eating and partially crying into the ice cream and keeping an eye on the map all the while. Just then a dot appears out of some passage the boys had found some time ago. It was labeled 'Sirius Black'. Just my luck. I look quickly for a passage, or somewhere to hide, as I am in no way currently possessing the mental resilience and stability it takes to deal with Black. Unfortunately, there's nothing. I sigh and just as I am about to find a cliff to jump off of as an alternative, I hear a,

"Aw, it's itty-bitty Holmes. What's a goody-two-shoes like you doing out after hours?" I turn my face away from him as he approaches and say,

"Fuck off, Black." But it sounds wrong. I don't mean that, I'm too sick with myself to put any effort into hating Sirius Black.

"Wow, that is some love right there. Hey, is that the Map?" I don't respond, just try (unsuccessfully) to push my way by him, "That is _so_ the Map. What are you doing out tonight anyway?" I say nothing again, "Well, if you must know, I was out just being a Marauder and overall troublemaker. I bet Evans will love to know that." I hollowly answer,

"So why don't you tell her?" He tries to get a look at my face,

"What the Hell is wrong with you?" I turn even further away. I can feel the snark coming on. It's like a sixth sense, really, "What, some boy break your heart? Well, if you even have one of those." I close my eyes and try to block him out. I hear a voice from my past, which I used to cry to when I was bullied at my Muggle primary school for being a 'freak',

"_Never let anyone tell you anything about yourself that isn't true. If it's not true, and you know that, darling, then it doesn't matter."_

That was too much for me, apparently, especially on October 17, because without any further ado, I breakdown and start sobbing. Black looks startled and quite uncomfortable.

"Okay, Holmes, I'm sorry some guy broke your heart?" He says it like a question. Ah, boys and tears of girls, the lack of comfort has existed before the beginning of time. I try to slap him, but miss badly, due to my currently impaired eyesight.

"Will you shut up you dick? My heart's not broken. I do have one, by the way." He takes the map and sighs,

"Sorry. Erm, where is it you were going with your barrel of ice cream?" I mumble something that I assume he understood as 'the Heads' Dorm', because he starts to lead me in that direction. We do finally make it there and he sits me down on a couch, as he can't exactly get me up Lily's stairs. I sniffle some more and hug a pillow. I'm surprised to see that he sits down opposite me and asks,

"Okay, Holmes, what the hell is this all about?" I go to say 'none of your business' but then I remember he pretty much carried me back up here, in my sobbing state, so instead I answer,

"Today is October 17."

"Yeah. So?" I roll my eyes, which are still watering severely.

"_So_, when I was nine, I went to school on October 17. I went through my day normally, and walked home like I always did. When I got home, the Dark Mark was over my house. Of course, I was a Half-blood raised like a Muggle, I knew of magic, but my mom, well, she never got the chance to tell me that not all of them were good, but anyways, I had no idea what it was. So, like any nine-year-old, I went inside to look for my mom.

"She was there, but she wasn't alone. I found her in her room with a hooded person, a man seeing as they were about 6 feet tall. I watched him kill my mom. I was young and scared, and _not_ in control of my magic. I lost control of the magic that hadn't yet revealed itself, and killed everything within a quarter mile radius. Luckily, the neighbors on our street were all still at work, so I only killed the Death Eater and a couple of rabbits. And I also pretty much collapsed our house. But _that's _what October 17 is." He sighs and although he doesn't look surprised, he _does_ know my mom is dead, he _does _look sad.

"Saying sorry wouldn't help, would it?" I stare at the fire that was dying in the fireplace.

"No. That's all people said to me when it happened. And all it did was make me sick."

"I didn't think so." We say nothing and the grandfather clock chimes 1 in the morning. He breaks the silence suddenly,

"There's this story I heard once, and it kind of relates. Do you want to hear it?" I wave a hand that he takes as a go ahead,

"Once upon a time there was a little boy. The little boy had everything he wanted. All the toys, the games, anything he needed or wanted he got. Anything except the attention of his parents. By the time he turned nine, he was so emotionally neglected that when his magic decided to reveal itself, he almost killed his parents by bringing all the cutlery in the house to life and setting it on his mom and dad. As punishment for his actions, the parents of the boy branded him on the arm with their house crest, so he would never forget where he came from. Years wore on and the boy looked everywhere for something to get rid of the scar his parents left, but as he grew older, he realized that the scar was a reminder of the past, of a past that made him who he is."

"That was a _horrible_ story. The poor kid. And what was the point?"

"The past, no matter how ugly, makes us who we are. You're at least partially the same annoying Natalia Holmes we all know _because_ of that. Don't forget to look at the positive, no matter how small, of any situation." I mean to answer but hear voices nearing. I get up and realize I'm no longer crying. I head up Lily's stairs and say quietly,

"Thanks, Black." Thinking there is no way he could humanly hear that, until I hear him answer quietly,

"You're welcome, Holmes." I slide into Lily's room, and sit on the bed with my ice cream, thinking over what it is that just happened between me and the boy with the branded arm next to a dying fire.


	8. What Do You Want

**Disclaimer: it makes me sad :(**

**Hi! So this is kind of a filler chapter, or my version of it, which means that there's actually something worthwhile in it somewhere. Um, there's a LOT of Nat and Sirius in this and the next two chapters, which I already have written, but if you get sick of it, never fear, there is a massive wrench being thrown into the plot in about three or four chapters!  
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A moment later, Lils comes into her room, where I'm sitting, thoughtfully thinking over what Black had said,

" …_Don't forget to look at the positive, no matter how small, of any situation." _Hmm…maybe he had a point. Wait. Why am I even listening to him? He obviously wants in my pants. _But why would he tell you about himself if he just wanted to sleep with you?_ A little voice asks me. Because he thinks that will make him seem likeable. I reason. _It did._ Said the voice. Shut up. I tell it sternly.

"So…Black is just in the Common Room, moodily staring into the fire. Do you know why?" I shake my head and I don't even know why. I tell Lils everything. I mean _everything._ I should tell her we talked. I _should _tell her what he told me. I know it, but I remain quiet, and say nothing of the conversation. Lils sits down next to me, "Nat…I know this is a really hard day for you. I wish there was something I could do to help, anything. I wish you would let me in." I sigh.

Lily doesn't know. She has no idea about why today weighs on me. My mother's death is something I came to terms with years ago, but I killed them. That man, and even those rabbits. He may have killed my mother, be he too had a family, maybe even a wife that expected him to come home, but he never did, thanks to me. I lean on her shoulder and say sadly,

"There's nothing you can do, Lils. This is my problem, it's inside of me. I wish you could help too, but you can't. I think I'm going to go sit in the Common Room for a little bit, 'kay?" She nods and I go back down the stairs to the now empty Common Room. I curl up on the couch and before I know it, I'm asleep.

I wake up the next morning with the Sun beating down on my face. I check the time and it's almost noon. Wow, I really know how to throw a day away. I get up and walk up to Lils' room, only to find it empty with a note on the bed,

_Nat,_

_Went down to Lunch. Meet us there, if you're up. If not we'll bring you some food._

_Lynn, Carrie, and Lily_

I smile and decide that I should get dressed and head down, as it seemed like people were bringing me food a lot lately. I head down to the Great Hall, alone and in silence. I hear James' voice, apparently angry, arguing with someone, I go to interrupt and break up whatever was going on until I heard my name.

"Mate, Nat's not some plaything. She's _my sister_. I didn't like this bet thing you have going on with Jenny when it started, but I didn't say anything because she could barely stand to be in the same castle as you, let alone a room. I didn't think it would be a problem. I want you to stay away from her, Sirius. I'm not kidding." There's a laugh from a different voice,

"Prongs, what makes you think she can stand to be in the same room as me?" Yeah, James. What the Hell? But then I stop and think. Does he know that I had been talking to Black last night? Did he hear voices at the same time I had? What does he think is going on?

"Do you think I'm a bleeding moron? You're _never_ alone. And I don't just mean you're always with a girl. You have to be in human company always. Someone was down with you in the Common Room, and I somehow doubt that Moony or Wormtail would leave when they heard us coming. McGonagall and Yin were in detention and Lily was with me. That leaves one person. I want you to leave her alone, Padfoot. I'm not fucking around on this one." I finally walk in, to break up the quarreling lovers.

"Hey Jamie! Black. Wow—what's going on here?" They are both standing close to each other and James as his wand out. He backs away from his best friend and smiles at me,

"Hey. It's nothing, just a misunderstanding. Heading down to Lunch?" he slings an arm over my shoulders and I realize that Black has mysteriously disappeared off to somewhere.

"Yeah, that was the plan. You going to same way?" He nods and drops his arm as we enter. The last thing we need is a rumor that we're having a secret love affair being started. I walk over to the girls and I see that Black somehow beat us there. Weird. I take a seat next to Care and they all greet me as I fill my plate. We all start an easy conversation and I ask,

"Hey, I totally forgot to ask you two how detention was last night." Lynn gags and Carrie shudders and refuse to say anything about what happened. Lily says,

"They won't tell me either." I smile and say,

"Well, Lilykins was on patrol last night with Jamesie. I hear she enjoyed it." She looks mortified,

"I'm going to kill Potter for telling you." I grin and say,

"Lils, James didn't tell me."

"Who did?"

"You, just now." She rolls her eyes and Care and Lynn snort at our shenanigans.

Just then someone sits down on my other side and I turn to see Sirius Black sitting next to me. I sigh,

"What do you want, Black?" he says nothing and I continue my conversation with the girls, only to see James and Lily in conversation. I exchange a look with the other two girls and they both giggle. Lynn mouths _when pigs fly _and I snort at what Lily had told James on countless occasions. Care asks me to fill the silence,

"What did you do last night, Nat?" I shrug and say,

"Eh. Went down to the Kitchens and ate my feelings." Her and L both look kind of guilty,

"Yeah, Nat, we're both really sorry. We didn't know we were going to get detention for playing catch. Sprout just decided that she was going to notice yesterday. We really wanted to ditch to be with you, but Filch was in the room with us the whole time, that creepy bastard." I laugh and wave them both off,

"No worries, guys. Seriously, there was nothing you guys could have done anyways." Then Carrie says the exact same thing Lily had last night,

"I wish there was something we could do." I sigh and run my hands through my hair and answer her almost the same I did Lily,

"I do too, but this is my problem, and I need to fix it. Don't feel bad or whatever is going through your detention-filled heads. So, are you_ sure_ you don't want to tell me what happened?" They exchange a dark look and say together,

"We're sure." I shrug and Care says,

"Oh, and this came from Jerry for you in the post this morning." She tosses me a letter and I open it,

_Update? How many left? How many are down? –J _I flip the parchment over and scrawl with a quill Lily hands me,

_58 are down. 2 to go. –N _I shove it in my pocket and stand, taking a bite of my toast.

"I'm going to go down to the Owlery. See you guys later?" They nod and Lils says,

"We'll be in the Library, okay?" I nod and smirk, 'Library' was code for 'in the Quidditch Pitch Stands' but we can't have Black and James knowing that, can we? It was far enough away from the castle that the magic stopped interfering with my computer and we could write the column there, usually in peace. I head out of the castle, towards the Owlery. I hear footsteps behind me, getting closer. I turn, my hand on my wand, to see Black there, looking rather sneaky. I turn back around and ignore him. I enter the Owlery, which to my dismay, is completely empty, which means that Back can say and do what he feels is appropriate. Which is a bad thing because what Black usually considers appropriate is _not_ appropriate to 99.99% of the world. I call my owl down and whisper who to take it to, to avoid Black hearing me send a letter to the editor of the Daily Prophet.

"What do you want, Black?" I ask him as my owl flies out the window.

"I heard you call Prongs 'Jamesie'." I shrug.

"Yeah, so? It's a common condescending nickname for him."

"Not really. Do you know who calls him that?" Me. And…oh, shit, the other me. _Talk to Jamesie Potter about whether he'll let you do 'his girl'…_"Jenny. She calls him Jamesie. She did last column. It was in the P.S." I roll my eyes and try to blow it off,

"Well, she is a student here, so it would make sense that she's heard the nickname. Is that your game plan, by the way? Is that why James hasn't murdered you yet? You're trying to figure out who Jenny is before she sees that you're never going to do all of the girls in the upper four years." I see his pride inflate a little at the jab,

"I've done 58 of them, thank you very much." I smirk.

"Too bad Lily and I are the last 2." He comes closer to me and I back up into the wall.

"Oh, you're not _that_ big of a challenge, really. It's Evans that's going to be difficult." I rolled my eyes. Not having to tell the school that it was me pretty much destroying all of them publically was enough of a reason to not. As I pull myself out of my train of thought, I see he's _really_ close now; close enough I can count his eyelashes, if I want to. His arms are on either side of my head on the wall and I'm out of places to go. He's a big guy, and I'm only average height for a girl and he has at least a head on me. I'm momentarily distracted by a mark on his arm, it was like a pattern of raised skin on the underside of his arm, right above the inside of his elbow, what it is exactly is given away by the ravens and the little letters that upon closer inspection would be the Black Family Motto. I raise an eyebrow, distracting him from what I'm sure he assumes is me staring at his biceps (which are pretty nice, I'm not going to lie),

"Excuse me? Did you just call me easy?" He smirks and I want to throttle him, badly, despite the fact that his parents thought it would be okay to brand their son.

"Maybe I did. What'cha gonna do about it Holmes?" I force myself to soften my facial expression and I move as if I was going to touch his face then pull it back and slap him hard. The fast connection of skin made a loud 'crack!' as he moves his hands to cover his face, I slip out from between him and the wall and say,

"That. Bye Black." As walk out of the Owlery, I think of the scar on his arm that his sleeve rode up to expose. I hear him call out the door,

"You're hiding something Holmes, and if it has something to do with that column, be prepared to go down with it." With that cheery thought, I rush out of hearing distance.

From that day forward, when I thought of the Black Family Crest, I thought of it burned into the flesh of a nine-year-old boy who couldn't control his magic because he wanted his parents to give him the love that they didn't know how to feel.


	9. The Library

**Disclaimer: :'(**

**Hi! So, this chapter, especially the end of it, is really setting up for next chapter, which is pretty sad, but kind of happy at the same time. Oh, and little Nattie is starting to get caught up in this web of things she's not telling her friends, which only get worse. :O  
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After I leave the Owlery, I don't head to the castle, but to the Quidditch Pitch. I climb into the stands, and walk to where the others are sitting. Lils has my computer and sitting next to her and they all smile and wave as they see me. I join them and Lily hands me my computer, which I unlock quickly. I open a new document and look at them.

"Okay, so what's this weeks?" Carrie stretches out on the bleacher and rubs her eyes,

"Well, I think that it _should_ be about how you two are the last two left, but I don't really think that you want to spill about yourselves." Lils agrees and they all look at me,

"Nat…You're being awfully quiet." I blurt out,

"Black heard me call James 'Jamesie' at lunch today." Carrie shrugs,

"So?" Lynn's eyes got really big,

"We called him 'Jamesie' in the last column, didn't we?" I nod.

"He followed me to the Owlery—"

"Oh, that's creepy." Lils interjects.

"—Yeah, it is, but anyways, I send the reply to Jerry off and I say 'can I help you, Black?' and then he was all like 'you called Prongs Jamesie' so I was like you guys and said 'so' but anyways, we have this long conversation about how Jenny is obviously a student here and probably heard it from somewhere and as I'm walking away he says, and I quote 'You're hiding something Holmes, and if it has something to do with that column, be prepared to go down with it'. Oh, and somewhere in there he called me easy and I slapped him. Yeah." They all gasp and Care rolls of the bleacher with a 'thud', they all speak at once,

"We are _so _fucked."

"Oh, he did NOT call you easy."

"You slapped him? Good on you." I sigh,

"I know. We _are_ fucked, he _did_ call me easy, _and_ I did slap him and thank you." They laugh a little, but we all look around uneasily, like one of the Marauders might come popping out of the shadows screaming,

"It's them! They're the ones!" But apparently Black headed up to the castle, thinking I was in the library. I sigh again,

"I don't know, can we do this tomorrow guys? I'm not feeling up to it right now." Lils agrees immediately,

"Yeah, I don't feel like we're _not_ being watched." L shudders and nods as I lock my computer. Care is nowhere to be seen. Lils glances down at the stadium floor, where she had fallen when she rolled off the bleacher.

"Holy shit. She fell asleep." I grin,

"Nuh-uh." Lynn laughs and says,

"Have your camera Lils?" Lily does in fact have her camera and she snaps a picture of the sleeping girl before I poke her awake.

"Care, c'mon, we're going back up to the castle. Let's go." She mumbles and pulls herself to her feet. We walk back to the castle in the mid-afternoon light talking and laughing. Just as we reach the Second Floor, James runs up to us.

"Hey, have you guys seen Sirius?" We all shake our heads and I say,

"Not since he followed me to the Owlery, like two hours ago. Why?" James' expression clouds for a second, but apparently has bigger things to be worried about than his best friend trying to get in his sister's pants.

"I can't find him, and that's strange, considering I know him damn well."

"Use the Map." I suggest and he frowns,

"He took it." I frown too.

"Well, that sucks. I'm sure you'll find him, Jamie. Relax and try to think like him. Where would he go?" James' expression clears a little, but he doesn't seem appeased at all,

"I—I don't know. I tried all the usual places. Both Common Rooms, my dorm, his dorm, the Kitchens, an abandoned classroom we use to—well, never mind on that part, the Astronomy Tower, everywhere he usually goes. I guess I'm kind of worried about him because of this thing with, erm, never mind." The four of us exchange looks. Lynn says,

"Look James, you're probably overreacting, I'm sure he's fine and just being a punk, as per usual. Did you try broom cupboards yet?" I think that's a wonderful suggestion, but Jamie shoots it down immediately.

"He's so set on this thing with Jenny, he's not seeing anyone, not even casually." So set on this thing with Jenny. _"We'll be in the library."_ I say suddenly,

"Try the Library. Humor me."

"Have you lost your mind, Nattie?" I roll my eyes and say,

"What do you have to lose James? If he's not there, that's my fault, okay? Just go." James looks like he doesn't quite know what to think about that, but heads in the direction of the Library anyways. We continue to head back to the Heads' Dorm and I blurt out,

"I talked to Black last night." The other three stop and look at me. Lynn asks the obvious.

"Did you sleep with him? Is Lils the last woman standing?" I shake my head,

"No, I, erm was heading back from the Kitchens and we kind of got into an argument, well, he tried to piss me off, but I just kind of didn't react, until he told me I didn't have a heart, I thought of my mom and broke down crying. I think it scared him actually." I laugh slightly and the other three just look at me like I'm nuts, "Yeah, well, it was strange." Lils smiles a little,

"It _was _you he was talking to last night. Potter and I heard his voice, but didn't hear anyone else. I suspected, but you didn't mention it, so I assumed I was wrong." I felt guilty for not telling them sooner, but I just hadn't had the energy last night.

"Yeah, sorry for not telling you guys sooner." They all smile and Lynn says,

"Eh, no worries. Just remember that he wants in your pants, his pride is on the line and he's Sirius Black. He'll stop at nothing to get to his desired ending in this whole mess." I nod silently and we continue our walk to the Heads' Dorm. The strange part was that it hadn't felt like that. It hadn't felt like a means to an end, like the Owlery visit had. That person had felt much more real than the Black that I slapped two hours ago had.

When we get to the Dorm we get our school stuff and start writing the CoMC essay that was due Tuesday. I hate that class; I don't even know why I still take it, honestly. Oh, wait, it's probably because it was a choice between that and Divination, and I would rather pull all my teeth out by hand than take two unnecessary years of Divination. We vanish our completed essays up to Lily's room three hours later and start on the Alchemy homework as the Sun begins to set. Alchemy is a class I actually like, believe it or not as those are few and far between. It's a lot like Muggle Chemistry, actually, and I found it not terribly easy, though very interesting.

We have another essay assigned for Friday morning and we all get about a third of the way done when the Marauders, who apparently found Black, appear in the Portrait hole. The four of us ignore them and continue to work quietly, occasionally asking the others a question. I finish writing and I throw down my quill,

"That's it, I'm done." Lily looks horrified,

"You haven't even revised, Nat." I scowl and say,

"Yeah, well if he doesn't like it, he can suck my dick." Care snorts and Lynn rolls her eyes, but also throws her quill down. Lily looks mortified, and says,

"Lynn, you _need_ to revise and edit it." She grins and says,

"Lils, I'm with Nat on this one. We've been at homework for," she checks the time, "_Four hours_ already. This is enough. C'mon, let's do something else. Go down to the Kitchens? Get the dinner we lost to Alchemy?" We all agree, Lils takes some convincing but we eventually get her to agree. We walk into the Kitchens to find Black alone, which is strange because he always, _always_ has someone with him, reading a letter.

We all exchange looks and Care shrugs as if to say, 'damn it, I'm too hungry to care if he's here'. I agree and Lils asks one of the house elves for food for all four of us. The house elf delivers us our food and we sit on the floor in the corner, and munch on our food, all of us talking quietly.


	10. Spelling Disaster

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**Wow! 10 chapters already! I hope everyone has enjoyed the crazy roller coaster that Nat has been on so far, because it's just the beginning for her! This is a really serious chapter, even though this isn't a really serious fic, this needs to be in here somewhere, so here it is!  
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When we finish eating we head out of the Kitchens, leaving Black to his thoughts. We make it almost back to the Heads' Dorm when I say,

"Shit! I left my wand in the Kitchens. I'll go back and grab it real quick." Lils says,

"Want us to come with you?" I shake my head,

"God no, that's ridiculous for all of us to go. I'll be back in like probably fifteen minutes, okay?" They all nod and smile. I turn back around cursing myself for having the habit of leaving my wand in my back pocket. I reach the Kitchens again, and believe it or not, Black is still there, still reading his letter. Must be a long letter.

This time he looks up when I walk in and don't say anything, but pick up my wand from the corner, where it had fallen out of my back pocket. I grab it and for lack of a better place to put it, I put it back in my back pocket. I almost close the door when I swear I hear someone crying. I poke my head back into the Kitchens and am surprised to find the culprit is no other than Sirius Black. I debate with myself for a moment then walk back into the Kitchens.

"Erm, Black? Are you alright?" he looks up, startled.

"Er, yeah, I'm fine. Just have something in my eye, you know." I sit down next to him at the table and say,

"That's probably the shittiest excuse ever for crying." He sighs.

"I know. Not to be rude or anything, but why are you still here? Don't you have friends that are expecting you?" I raise an eyebrow,

"Um, you looked sad, and I told them I'd be back once I found my wand, which knowing me could take all night. Are you sure you're alright because I'm pretty sure you've been reading that letter for the past hour." He shoves the letter towards me and I take it, but don't read it, "Are you sure you want me to see this?" He shrugs and I read it.

It's a letter from one Andromeda Tonks, who I suppose was Andy Black, who graduated two years ago. I run through my mental map of the Black family and guess that Andy was Black's cousin. Hm, I guess she married Ted after all, how nice. It said that Alphard Black had passed away last night, at the age of 47. There was also a funeral date and other information that I didn't feel right reading.

"He was the only family I liked, other than Andy." He says. I almost say sorry, but think about how I hated those words. I say instead,

"He was too young to die. 47 is too young." He nods sadly and I don't really know what to say other than,

"Why did you like him?"

"He wasn't like my parents and my lunatic relatives. He didn't believe in blood purity and all that other shit like they do. He was a good man and he always tried his best, to do what was right. He was the closest thing I had to a father when I was growing up, before I met James and Charlie and Dorea. He used to say I was the only Black who showed real spirit." I nod sadly. To lose someone so close to you will take a real mental toll.

"Sorry I slapped you." He laughs humorlessly,

"Don't be. I deserved it. I usually do, actually"

"You kind of did. Just a hint, but calling girl easy, will usually get you slapped, just for future reference." He smiles a little,

"Yeah, well, I didn't expect you to be able to hit so hard." I snort,

"Please, I grew up in a house with James. I can pack a pretty hard punch. I learned quickly that the best way to settle an argument with him was to hit him hard enough that he passes out. He's kind of a sissy like that."

"You know this is the first civil conversation we've had. Ever." I stop to think,

"Yeah, it really is. It's probably because you piss me off like no other."

"Ditto." I check the time and realize I'd been here for almost double the time I had said I'd be.

"I better go. I _do _have waiting friends. Goodnight Black." I, yet again, almost make it out the door, when he says,

"Thanks Holmes." I sigh and make a snap decision,

"God, will you stop calling me Holmes? Call me Nat like everyone else." He smiles a little and replies,

"Well, thanks Nat." and I say again,

"Goodnight Black." There's an answer of,

"Sirius. It's Sirius. I hate my last name." I smile and say quietly,

"Sirius." I run to make up for lost time and formulate an excuse that involved Peeves to explain the extra time it took for me to find my wand.

James is in the Common Room when I get there,

"Hey Beetle, seen Sirius?" I gesture vaguely and say,

"Kitchens." I head up Lily's stairs and they all say something along the lines of,

"There you are! What took so long?" I say,

"Yeah, I got held up by Peeves, sorry." The lies accepted easily and Lily says that she doesn't have patrol with James tonight. Care grins,

"Oooh, when did Potter become 'James' to you? Someone's getting friendly with the Head Boy, it seems." I smile and laugh at her but in the conversation I didn't say much in that followed I wondered when did I start lying and hiding so much from my friends? Three months ago, I told them _everything_ but now I was hiding entire conversations I had purposely, making up excuses as to why I was late all the time, what was happening to me? I shove that unsettling thought from my mind and go to change into my pajamas for the night.

I lay in bed as I drift asleep and I ask myself, when did Sirius Black go from 'Black' to 'Sirius' and when did I start hiding things f_or_ him and not _from_ him? What the hell am I doing to myself? But honestly, I know what I am doing to myself, and the most unsettling part is that I don't mind in the least that it spells disaster.


	11. Between the Shelves

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**SO it's been a long time, hasn't it? I'm a little ashamed to say that I've had this chapter done for over two weeks, I just haven't had the chance to upload it, and write this AN, which I add onto the chapter on FF. This is an important chapter, people! Seriously, this one is really important in plot and in character development, especially Nat. I hope you guys all like it!  
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"Nat! Nat! Get up you lazy _ass_! It's a Hogsmeade day you dolt!" I roll over and muter something garbled along the lines of,

"Something better be on fire, Lils."

"Oh, shut up! Get up! I have to pick something to wear!" I sit up and blearily rub my eyes,

"Lils, it's just a Hogsmeade trip, we've only been there, oh, I don't know, about a hundred times." I watch her run around and pull things out of all of our dressers, frantic

"I know, but I have to go do Head Duties with James while we're there and—" She cuts off guiltily, caught in the act.

"Lillian Evans. Do my ears deceive me? Are you _dressing up_ for James Potter? My goodness, someone call the newspaper." She chuckles a little at my joke but blushes nonetheless.

"Okay, okay, maybe I like him." I squeal, unable to contain my girly urge at this declaration and hop out of bed, reality setting in on me. Remus was sick with his Furry Problem, no one knows where Peter is, and L and Care have detention. Again. I'm down a Lily and a James, which means that I'm going to be either alone or with Black, er, Sirius. I pause to consider this.

Would I rather spend the day with Sirius Black, or with the fabulous Natalia Holmes? I sigh and just shove this question to the back of my mind as I help Lils get ready for her date…encounter…thing with Jamie. I put on a floral blue off-the-shoulder top and a pair of white short shorts. I leave my hair down and put my wand in my back pocket. I really need to do something else with it eventually. I yell into my bathroom,

"I'm going down Lils! Hurry your ass up!" There is a sound of general acknowledgement and I head down stairs into the now nearly empty Common Room. Jamie and Bla—Sirius are both still in the empty Common Room, both looking pretty worn out. The full moon was last night, so I suppose that would account for their obvious exhaustion. Jamie yawns and says,

"Beetle. Where's Lily?" I smirk and reply to the confused boy,

"She's coming James. She can't fly out the window you know. What am I not good enough for you?" I feign a hurt expression and he rolls his eyes,

"Nattie, we've been through this. You're my little sister, and I'd die for you in a heartbeat, but I _love_ Lily." I fake-sniffle,

"Aw, Jamie's growing all up. I so proud of you! I'm going to go to give you two lovebirds some time alone. And I am _not _your little sister. I'm younger by two months, not years." I head out the door and wheel back around and say, "Oh, James, tell her she looks really good today. Don't ask me why, just do." I look around the Common Room and see Bla—Sirius has disappeared mysteriously. Those boys and their secret passages. I shrug and head out of the Common Room alone, and I am still alone when I run into Mulciber and Avery. Lucky me.

"Oh, look, it's itty bitty Holmes, all alone. Where're your bodyguards, girlie?" I'm taken aback for a moment. I'd heard people (all Slytherins) call James my 'bodyguard' before, but never, _ever,_ plural. I do my best to ignore them and try to push past them. They easily push me back, even though I'm pretty average height and weight, maybe a little on the small side on both accounts, but I'm still nothing compared to the two beaters in width or height. I try to discreetly slip my hand back to where my wand is, er, was. Mulciber is twirling it around in one of his hands, a good two feet away from me. The castle was empty and I here I was, stuck up in here with these two creeps.

"Aw, she's all alone. No one to save your pretty self this time, Holmes." I back up from Avery, and Mulciber grabs me by arms and pushes me towards his companion. I say nothing, knowing that silence would infuriate them more than anything I said. Just as I swear they're going to pull me into the dungeons and put me in chains, they both look over my head and Mulciber speaks to someone I can't see,

"Got a problem, Black?" I turn around suddenly enough that Mulciber and Avery are both caught of guard and I snatch my wand back from the former of the pair. I don't think I've ever been so glad to see Sirius Black in my entire life.

"Let her go, Avery." Yeah, let me go. Or don't, depending on whether you'd like to keep all of your appendages or not. I think to myself. Sirius' lips twitch. Oh, he was one of those that can hear thoughts. A Legimens, I think it was called. I shut my mind as Avery says,

"I don't think so Black, Natalia here is _so_ pretty, and we'd _never_ get the likes of her on our own, so we'll just keep her." He touches my face and I push him away with one of my few free body parts, my shoulder. Just then there is a noise from behind me they both look at and Sirius widens eyes at me for a second. I nod and they both turn around and I grip my wand tighter. He smirks and pulls out his wand and I stun Mulciber as Avery goes down on my left.

"Are you okay?" I nod and gratefully take his hand over the unconscious forms of Mulciber and Avery, "They didn't, er, do anything did they?" I shake my head and drop his hand as I say,

"No, they're just creeps. Thanks though, I was getting ready to scream 'kidnap'." He chuckles and I ask, "Why were you heading back to the Common Room?" He responds easily,

"To make sure Evans hadn't disemboweled James yet. I should probably find him." It was a lie, and we both knew it, but I remember what Lils had told me and I say now,

"Don't. A little Ginger Birdie told me she had a thing for my brother. Give them some alone time and do whatever it is that little Sirius' do on their own in Hogsmeade." He looks at me like I'm nuts. Which I probably am, but that's beside the point right now.

"Are you serious? You think I'm going to leave you alone after that? I know them both; I had the distinct pleasure of growing up with them. They weren't keeping you to play checkers, I promise you that." I shiver a little at the thought of them. They really _were_ repulsive people, inside and out.

"Fine. You win. What do you want to do? Oh, and under no circumstances is this a date. Understood?" I tack that onto the end as a disclaimer. He better not expect a happy ending today, because he's not getting one.

"Understood. Well, where do you want to go? Please don't tell me Madam Puddifoot's. I'll do it, but only because you're my best mate's sister." I laugh and say,

"What kind of person do you take me as? I'd rather pull all my teeth out than go in that place." He relaxes and whispers quite suddenly,

"Stop. Look." I look up to see Lily and Jamie sitting in the Three Broomsticks, in a booth, very, _very _close to each other. I grin and whisper back,

"Aww, how adorable. There will be little Jamie's and Lily's entering the world in no time." he chuckles and says,

"Well, is there a particular reason you came here today?" I shrug.

"I like seeing the town. I don't really need anything while I'm here. Do you? Or did you just come along to spy on the lovebirds?"

"Nah, same reason, I suppose. We should _probably_ give them some privacy. Unless you want to watch them suck face in approximately 5 minutes." I wrinkle my nose,

"Nah, no thanks. Let's go somewhere far, _far_ away from those two." There is a sound of agreement form where he is standing next to me and we wander down the streets, but eventually there starts to be nasty looks from Sirius' exes and he leads me off the main road, away from the masses of unnecessarily jealous girls.

"Do you think a bookstore would ward off all 58 of your exes?" He chuckles and agrees. We slip into a used bookstore and hide in the back, between the Russian Revolution and the Religious section. I sit on the floor and lean up against the shelf that was behind me. He does the same opposite me, his feet next to me.

"Sirius?" I ask softly. He looks up from his hands, which seem to have grown in interest lately,

"Yeah?"

"Why were you really going back to the Common Room?"

"I told you."

"You were lying."

"Yeah…well, when I left the Common Room, I was a little ahead of you but stopped to pick something up, so I saw you walk by on the Sixth Floor, so when you weren't down in the Great Hall, after like 10 minutes, I went looking."

"Why did you think there was something wrong?"

"Dorea and Charlie both play down what is going on in the War, but when I lived back with my parents, summer before last, I heard all kinds of things, and not many, if any, were good. Its' really bad, and you're a prime target: A half-blood, who had a powerful Auror for a father, an orphan."

"They wanted to kill me?" his eyes darken, making him look older than 17. For a moment I saw the man in my house, killing my mother. I start at the similarities to the man I had killed but say nothing else. Not yet.

"No, they didn't want to kill you. I'm almost positive they wanted to recruit you, to be a Death Eater. Actually, marry you to a Death Eater is probably more accurate. Pureblooded women are a hot commodity these days in the darker parts of the world." My head snaps up at that,

"What did you just call me?" he looks confused for a moment.

"A Pureblood? It's what you are, you know. You mother wasn't a Muggle as she had you believe. You're a powerful witch, Nat, from a powerful pureblooded family. Trust me, I know the names and marital statuses of all the Pureblooded girls under the age of 30, and you're on the list. And single, if I'm not mistaken." I shake my head,

"That's—that's impossible. My mom…she was a schoolteacher. She wasn't a witch! I would have known, she would have told me." His eyes widen,

"I thought you knew. Shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you that." I wave him off.

"It's okay, I guess. It makes sense sort of, how I didn't want to go to school that day, and she forced me to go, said that I _had_ to go to school, because it was the most important thing in the world. It was like she knew she was going to be killed." I sigh and run my hands through my hair,

"Nat? I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to tell you that. Maybe you could talk to Dorea and Charlie when we go home for Christmas?" I nod.

"Maybe. Do you know who the man was that killed my mother?" He doesn't meet my eyes,

"Sirius? _Do you know?"_ he nods,

"Yes, I do. He was a distant relative of mine, a third cousin, I think. I had no idea that he was killed on the raid on your house until you told me how your mom died. No one ever told me it was the attack on your house. If I had known, I would have told you." I nod, absently and think over my life. I had always identified with Half bloods, one foot in each world. But that wasn't me. I had both feet in this world. The Muggle world didn't belong to me. It never had.

"Why did you take Jenny's bet?" I ask suddenly.

"Er…well, I want to know who she is. She ruins lives, and she's _not_ a good person." Well, ouch. "I just want to see her get what she deserves. So, if you'll be willing to help me out with that…" I laugh and stand, ruffling his hair.

"In your dreams. Bye now Sirius. And thanks for today." I add softly. I leave the bookstore thinking about what he had said. How will he react if he finds out it's us? How will they _all_ react? I shudder and decide that they _never_ will know.


	12. But Someone Will Spike the Punch

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**HEYY! So, I know it's been a while, but life has seriously gotten in the way and due to a massive, erm, altercation with my teacher de espanol, registering for next year and the inevitable identity crisis ("What am I doing with my life?! I don't want to live in a cardboard box after college!") that comes with it, and an addiction to the TV show 'Merlin', I haven't written anything in almost two weeks, so I cranked out this entire chapter withing the last two hours for you guys!**

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I enter Hogwarts as darkness begins to fall and I head up to the Heads' Dorm, in search of Lily. And as darkness settles on the castle, I feel a very different darkness settle over me. Or maybe Jamie, I think, depending on how I'm feeling by the time I get there. By the time I get to the Heads' Dorm, I knew this was definite Jamie territory. This was emotionally unstable, spill my guts everywhere territory. I head up his staircase and knock on the door. He opens it and looks alarmed.

"Nattie? What's the matter?"

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" He nods and grabs a coat, as it was starting to get cooler on nights. We quietly walk down to the Quidditch Pitch and sit in the middle of the field, and I watch the moon as I speak.

"Did you know?" I question him.

"Er, know what, exactly?"

"That I'm a Pureblood. Did you know?" I push further. Jamie's jaw drops and his mouth hangs open for a few seconds, suggesting that he did not, in fact, know.

"No, Nat I had no idea. How did you find this out?" I hesitate for a second then briefly tell him of my run-in with Avery and Mulciber, the bookstore, my discovery, via Sirius and his parents' forced education on Pureblooded girls. I artfully omit that it was one of Jamie's brother's relatives that killed my mother, but other than that, I leave nothing out. When I finish, his mouth is hanging open. Again.

"Erm, Jamie? Are you still in there?" He looks at me and says,

"Well, that definitely blows my day out of the water. I had no idea, and I'm honestly surprised Sirius told you at all. He never talks about his family life to us, let alone other people. And I can't blame him, honestly." I shudder a little, remembering the night two summers ago, before our sixth year that Sirius had shown up on our doorstep, bloody and delirious. I had opened the door and he had fallen on top of me (something neither of us speak about) vacantly mumbling about canes and belts. It hadn't taken a head doctor to tell anyone that he had been badly abused using belts and canes, repeatedly over the course of his childhood.

"I don't either. I was just kind of surprised that my parents thought it wise so long ago to go into hiding, even before the war started." James puts an arm around me,

"They were wise people, and they weren't killed for lack of trying. And they _did _get what they wanted after all, you know." I raise an eyebrow, wondering how on Earth my parents could have wanted to die, "They kept you alive, and in one piece long enough for you to be old enough to get to us by yourself."

Though Sirius had definitely needed more medical attention when he arrived unannounced at the Potters, he wasn't the first child to do so. I had somehow made it into London and to the Leaky Cauldron on my own, at nine years old, and begged someone to call the Knight Bus for me, to take me to the Potters. Though tired, and hungry, the worst injury I was suffering from at my arrival was a broken toe, where someone had stepped on it in the busy streets of the city, which Dorea had fixed in a heartbeat.

"I suppose so. Hm, we should probably go in, it's getting pretty late." We quietly make our way back up to the castle in silence, both of us thinking about what the other had said. When we get to the Head's Dorm, Lily is sitting on one of the sofas, doing homework, as per usual. She looks up and smiles.

"Well you two are late. James, your dancing band of morons, and Remus, are waiting for you in your room." He nods then asks her,

"Why didn't you just include Remus?" She laughs and says

"Because I don't consider Remus a dancing moron." He's too nice and quiet for that." I snicker and ruffle Jamie's hair as he goes to join his friends in his room. I sit down next to Lils and she outs her homework away, with a quiet

"What aren't you telling me?"

"So, when I was walking down to the Great Hall this morning, I got held up by Mulciber and Avery." I hear her gasp but I continue, knowing she is expecting the worst that could come out of this, "So I'm standing there, without a wand mind you, and I swear to God they were going to drag me back to the Slytherin Common Room never to be seen again, and then apparently you and James were taking too long in the Common Room and Sirius came back up to see if Jamie was dead, when he ran straight into us. So anyways, to make a long story short, we knocked them out and went on our merry way down to—"

"Wait, wait, wait. When did Black become Sirius?" I say nothing and she grins, "Oh, Nat, getting a little friendly, are we?" I roll my eyes and wave her off,

"Please Lils, I'm not going to jump into bed with him, anyways, as I was saying, we went on our merry way down to Hogsmeade, and we saw the two of you looking _very_ cozy in the Three Broomsticks. But, alas, neither of us wanted to watch you suck face, so we left, and hid in a bookstore, as that would ward of most of his exes."

"That's very true. Other L and Care, they all probably share a brain cell. And im going to ignore that other part for the sake of your well being." I laugh and nod,

"Ugh, some of them are so stupid it's tragic, isn't it? Anyways, we sitting there and he accidentally, or not so accidentally call me a Pureblood."

"What? That makes no sense, Nat, your mom was a Muggle schoolteacher." I nod and say back

"That's what I thought too, but then the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Unless his parents were lying to him he was telling the truth, because he honestly believed he was telling me the truth when he said that."

"How do you know? Are you sure he's not just screwing with you?" I shake my head,

"No, he wasn't, I don't think. No one can lie that well, not even him." She shakes her head in disbelief and I change the subject,

"So, Lils, you and Jamie were looking _very_ cozy in the Three Broomsticks. Have fun doing 'Head duties'?" I grin at her and she blushes fiercely, clashing badly with her already bright hair.

"Well, we actually did accomplish something, but I wanted you, Carrie, and Lynn's opinion on it." I raise an eyebrow meaning 'go on', "We're throwing around the idea of a ball. Maybe for Halloween." I consider it for a moment. A ball would be fun and someone would probably spike the punch bowl once all the younger kids hit their curfews. But that would also open us up to losing the bet with Sirius. But someone would spike the punch. But it could also potentially ruin my last six months at school. Definite chance of drunken partying versus possible chance of alienation by the entire school.

"I think it's a great idea Lils. A Halloween Ball, huh?" She grins and says,

"Yeah. You know with the masks and stuff." I raise both my eyebrows,

"A masquerade? Sounds mysteriously sexy, Lils. That part wasn't your idea, was it?" She laughs and turns a little red,

"That obvious? No, that part was James' idea, but I like it. I'm pretty sure it's never been done too, which would make it extra exciting." I agree with her and just then Lynn and Carrie stumble in, looking like they've been dragged through Hell and back.

"How was detention you two?" They both scowl at me and say something along the lines of,

"Just spectacular. How was Hogsmeade?" Lily gives them a brief run down of the ball idea, which they both agree on loving and then the attention is shifted to me.

"How was your lonely day, Nat?" Lily grins and I whack her over the head but I can't cover her mouth before she says,

"Nattie here didn't spend her day alone."

"Well, who'd you spend it with?" Carrie asks, and Lil says,

"Yeah, Nat, who'd you spend it with?" I hit her again and Lynn makes the leap to the truth.

"Oh no you didn't." Carrie looks confused,

"Who was it?" Lynn smirks and I hide my face out of embarrassment,

"Nattie spend the day with one Sirius Black." Carrie chokes on nothing and Lils laughs at me.

"I hate you all."

"Yeah, yeah. We love you too."


	13. Nondestructive Power

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**Oh my goodness! Another chapter? I just had a burst of inspiration and couldn't help myself! Ah, plot development, you are my life's ambition, and at the same time, my greatest enemy. But anyhow, this is kind of a wordy chapter for a tiny event, but it just kind of came out in word vomit, so here it is!**

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**Oh, and lots of love to my reviewers! I'd put a heart here but FF takes the Greater than symbol down. :(**

"Remus, old buddy, old pal. When is it you're going to ask Carrie to the ball?" I say as I sit down next to him in the Great Hall. He turns bright red and sputters out his pumpkin juice as an answer, "Oh, come _on_ Moony. We all know you're like in love with her, so just suck it up and ask her to the ball. I know she'd _love_ to go with you. And besides, you better get moving, the ball's only a week and a half away and she's going to have to match her dress with her date." I singsong at him. Okay, so Care wasn't planning on matching with anyone, but I figure it'll motivate him a little.

"Nat, I don't know what you're talking about. I—"

"Don't like Yin? Please Moony you'd be more discreet if you had a neon sign on your forehead." Sirius teases as he sits down on my other side. I laugh and nod in agreement with him.

"You guys don't understand. I like her, but I'm not good enough, I'm sick all of the time, and I'm not even completely _human_. Besides, there's no way she even likes me back." Sirius whacks him over his head and says in a way I'm sure he thinks is smart,

"Come on, Moony, the girls head over heels for you. Besides, if you don't ask her out, I'm sure someone else will, and you don't want to be moping around all night watching her dance with some other guy." Remus looks at me,

"What do you think Nat?" I think for a moment and say,

"As much as it pains me to say it, and I can't believe the words are crossing my lips, Sirius is right. You not asking her to the Ball won't make either of you happy, long or short term. See if you can catch her on her way down here. Go on, shoo." I laugh as he gets up and heads out of the Hall to make a pretty, unsuspecting, Asian girl very, _very_ happy. I sigh and say absently,

"They're so cute. So, do you know if James is gonna ask Lily?" When there's no answer I assume Sirius has either left or has fallen back asleep. When I find neither is true and he's staring across the Hall, I follow his gaze to the Slytherin table, where Mulciber and Avery are creepily staring over in our direction. Great. I wave a hand in front of his face. "Er, Sirius? I don't think you'll be able to burn holes in their heads from here." He looks at me and he shakes his head, almost to clear it.

"Erm, yeah, course. What were you saying?" I glance at the Slytherin table one last time to see Mulciber and Avery still staring and I say, directing my attention back to the boy next to me,

"I asked if you knew if James was going to ask Lily." He nods and says,

"Yeah, I think so. What class are you going to?" I look at him like he's nuts and say,

"Potions. You know, that one class I have with you. And have had with you since I was 11. Why?" he stands up and absently says to me,

"Come on, let's get there early." I notice the entire time he doesn't break eye contact with the Slytherin table. I choose not to comment and nod, grabbing my stuff as I stand up. I'm all but pushed out of the Hall and once we're almost to Potions, well inside the dungeons, half an hour early, mind you, I stop and finally say,

"What in God's name was that all about? Sirius don't you dare just keep pushing me and never answer." I try to stop and he resorts to dragging me by me arm towards the classroom. "Ow! What the fuck, Black?" He stops and turns towards me.

"I'll explain in the classroom, Nat. Please. I'm sorry, but please listen to me." This isn't a joke, that much I'm convinced of so I nod, and willingly walk with him to the class. We finally get there and Slughorn looks surprised to see us. I can't blame him. I'm surprised to see him, too. He looks around awkwardly for something to do then says,

"I'm going to run to get something from my stores. Try not to blow the place up while I'm gone." Neither of us acknowledges him and he shuffles out the door, closing it behind him. I throw my stuff down at my seat and say,

"Okay, we're in Potions in one piece. Barely mind you, seeing as I almost lost an arm on the way down here. So what the bloody Hell is going on?" He sighs and says,

"I'm sorry I dragged you. You know I'm a Legimens, right?" I nod. I had figured that out before the Hogsmeade trip. "Yeah, well, thanks to that little _incident_ last Hogsmeade trip Mulciber and Avery, who are both very aware of this, decided they'd like to throw some not so nice mental images my way. And they decided that they'd like to use you as their, well for lack of a better word, target."

"Er, and what was it that they were saying?" He frowns and looks at me, dead serious,

"Imagine someone screaming porn at you." I cover my face with my hands,

"Oh my God, that's so disgusting. I honestly think I might lose my breakfast. Hold on. No, no, I'm good. Okay. I'm okay."

"Yeah…that's kind of why I dragged you down here kind of forcefully. Sorry about that, by the way. Did I actually hurt your arm?" I pull my sleeve up to see a faint handprint starting to color.

"It'll be fine. I'll just wear long sleeves to bed for the next couple of weeks." I say and wave it off.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I can heal it, if you'd like." I raise a skeptical eyebrow,

"You can do that?"

"Well, as a child who comes from a home of abuse, where I constantly took care of my little brother, who has all the nondestructive power of a raging bull in a china shop, yes, yes I can. Here." He waves his wand and the bruise vanishes, the throbbing sensation going with it.

"Nondestructive power?"

"Regulus is powerful, but he has no idea how to control it. It's harder to heal and protect something than it is to destroy or hurt it. To destroy something rage will suffice as fuel, but to fix something, you have to want to fix it, care enough to reverse the damage. My brother could no easier heal your arm than chop off his own. Actually he would probably sooner do that than heal someone, seeing as it seems to be physically impossible for him to do spells like that and not blow something up, if they do anything at all, really."

"Oh." I say, surprised that the elder Black boy could muster up the emotion to fix my arm.

"The only time he's ever healed someone was accidental magic, before my parents stomped it out of him." He flexes his arm subconsciously and I get the impression that the Black Family Crest hadn't scarred so cleanly on its own.

"The only time I ever showed signs of magic I killed everything within a half mile radius, so I'm not one to talk, really. But if he fixed that arm of yours, he must love you a lot."

"I never said it was my arm." I smirk and say,

"Yes, well stopping flexing it every time you talk about it and you might just get away with omitting that information. He grins and winks at me,

"Were you checking out my biceps Holmes? It's okay if you were, they _are_ pretty great." I feel my face turn red and decide under no circumstance am I going to admit to him that he _does_ have pretty great biceps. And the rest of him isn't too bad either actually. Wait. Shit, Legimens. Think about something else Nat! Er…Potions! Slughorn's mustache! Dancing bunnies! Yes! Lots and lots of dancing bunnies! And they all have Sluggy's mustache! And they love making potions! Yes! He chuckles and says,

"Please spare me the mental images of bunnies with Slughorn's mustache making potions." Just then Lily and L walk in with Jamie, Remus and a blushing Carrie in tow. I move to greet my friends and as Care launches into the tale of how Remus _finally_ asked her out, I hear _Oh, and I heard that first part too. And that's only the parts you've seen, sweetheart._ I choke on nothing in particular as Slughorn calls the class to order and we all sit down.

James asks me why my face is bright red and I wave him off, saying being around so many Slytherins makes me nauseous. He laughs and Sirius winks at me from his table and I flick him off when his Jamie isn't looking. Too bad it doesn't get by Lily.


	14. And Then There Was One

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**Hey! So big chapter plot-wise! Oh, and there's BUNCHES of drama coming your way within the next 6 or so chapters, so be ready for fistfights, funerals, fistfights _at_ funerals, and even a little tragedy thrown in the mix as we approach Halloween, and the date of the Ball.**

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"Potter passes the Quaffle to McGonagall! Wait, _is that the Snitch_?!" Everyone screams as both the Slytherin and Gryffindor seekers head towards the little gold ball at break-neck speeds. I'm in the stands next to the girls and Sirius, Remus and Peter are on my other side. Lily's hat has fallen off a long time ago and I'm pretty sure we'd be carrying her back up to the castle is Jamie has another close call with a bludger. Carrie is leaning into Remus' shoulder in an extremely cute way and that pretty much leaves sandwiched between a near hysterical Lily and a rather antsy looking Sirius.

"You okay?" He nods.

"Yeah. I always worry about Prongs when he plays. I know it's really stupid but I promise there's a reason behind it." I raise an eyebrow,

"And that would be because…" He chuckles,

"I might tell you one day." I roll my eyes and say,

"Great. 'you know there was this one thing…but don't worry Nat. I'll tell you some other time.'" He laughs and says,

"Okay, well you know about the Animagus thing, right?" I nod, "Yeah, well Moony was _really_ badly behaved as a wolf when we first started going out with him at night, and Prongs got pretty messed up one of the first times. The left side of his body was pretty much shattered and I could see the bones in his leg sticking out. I really consider him a brother and it freaked me out massively. I always really worry about after a full moon having to go and find you to tell you that your brother's dead, about having to tell Dorea and Charlie that their son's best friend killed him. Losing people I care about scares me to death." I nod thoughtfully at that.

"My God, there's actually something under the thick layer of asshole that isn't a head full of sawdust!" He laughs and says,

"You know it, babe." I roll my eyes and go to tell him off as the crowd erupts into cheers and Lily almost falls out of the stands.

"We won!" is being shouted all around me and I grin and hug Lily as she squeals excitedly.

That night, as per tradition, the Marauders held a massive party in the Common Room for the house, along with Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw students who want to show up to party. No Slytherins allowed, of course.

I'd be lying massively if I told you I remember all of it. Or any of it for that matter. So, when I wake up in the boy's dorm the next morning, sprawled across a bed, you can only imagine my surprise. My first thought is that I had drunkenly crawled into Jamie's bed, but then I realize what most likely happened, for two reasons. The first being that I got massively skanky and would have sex with anything that moved if I got drunk enough. The second reason being that I'm not in James' bed. I know the layout of this room pretty damn well, and if I'm not mistaken the bed directly across from the door to the bathroom belongs to…

"Oh, hey Nat. Glad to see your up." Sirius Black. I sit up and look at the boy walking, fully dressed out of the bathroom, presumably from taking a shower.

"Yeah. Er, not to be awkward and cut to the point here, but did we have sex?" He scratches his head,

"No…well, you passed out and no one could get you up to your dorm because of the stairs, so we brought you here, and James and Moony were already passed out so you got my bed, you lucky girl." I relax.

"Oh thank God. Okay, so would you mind telling me what exactly happened last night?" He laughs and says,

"You don't remember? You slapped me. Again. It wounded my face and my ego simultaneously." I raise an eyebrow.

"Why did I slap you?" He chuckles and winks.

"Go talk to Evans about that. And take some hangover potion for her too." I pause and realize I'm not hungover in the least.

"So why aren't _I _hungover in the least, while we're on the topic."

"James woke you up about an hour ago and shoved some hangover potion down your throat before he left for Head duties." I sit up and he hands me some hangover potion and the cloak, "You'll want this. Trust me." I grab the cloak and head out of the boys' dorms and to the Heads' Dorm. When I get to Lily's room she's just waking up and I pull her up and hand her the potion.

"Compliments of the Marauders." She chugs it and sighs in relief.

"Thanks. So how did you sleep?" I smile and say,

"Fine, especially considering that I was piss drunk last night. Speaking of which, why is it I slapped Sirius?" Her face drains of color.

"You don't remember? Nat, I'm down. I got drunk and I couldn't help it. No one knows but you, Black, and me. You slapped him because I slept with him." I sit on her bed heavily.

"Seriously? How in God's name did that happen?"

"I was really drunk. I've never been that messed up before and it seemed like a good idea in my drunken haze. You can't tell James, or anyone else for that matter. I really like him and this thing was a mistake that I wished more than anything never happened. Don't be mad, please."

"I'm not mad, Lils, I just had no idea I'd be the last one. I always thought it'd be you, not me. I won't tell Jamie, this is between you two, and I personally think you'd be great together, so this stays between us and no one says a thing."

"What about Black? Do you think he'll say anything to James?" I shake my head,

"No, if there's anything he cares about it's James. He'll say nothing to him, and let it go as long as he can. But Lils, if I do end up sleeping with him accidentally, he'll know, because I'll keep to my word and tell him that I'm Jenny. I'm not backing out of this, because I really can't. you understand that, don't you?" She nods and I watch the color come back to her face and I think to myself:

59 down, 1 to go. No wonder he was being so nice. I'm the only one left.


	15. Something Wicked This Way Comes

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**HEYO! So another update! Oh my goodness! You guys might even get a resolution to the cliffhanger as early as tomorrow, so be excited! Anyways, as we see in this chapter, Nat's a wittle-itty-bit of a hypocrite when it comes to our favorite Black boy. For someone who says she's not going to trust him, she's pretty trusting. Hmm...I wonder why?**

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**P.S. I put a pic of Nat's dress on my profile, so check it out because I suck ass at describing clothes!**

I'm not nearly as mad at Sirius as I obviously was in my drunken state, but trusting him isn't something I would consider wise. No, I'm not mad. Just very, very weary of him and his motives, whatever they may be. So, when he asks me, and not Jamie, to go with him to Alphard's funeral with him, suspicious doesn't even begin to describe it. And his shifty answer of why I should go didn't exactly help either,

"Aw, come on Nat. You know Andy so the reception won't be nearly as strange for you as it would be Prongs."

"Sirius, I met her once. And it went like 'Nat, this is Andy. Andy, this is Nat' 'nice to meet you' 'you too'."

"I know. But it's better than nothing, right? And besides the last thing I need is for my darling mother to get the impression that I'm gay." I had rolled my eyes and agreed to go with him, mainly because I felt bad, and I had the feeling that said mother would be there.

I sit on James' bed, waiting for him to finally pull his head out of his ass and get ready to go, irritably pulling on the hem of my black dress that Dorea had sent for me. The woman has good taste, I'm not going to lie.

The dress is strapless and falls to about four inches above my knee and is lacy. I put on a pair of tall black platforms and left my hair down. So, maybe a little inappropriate but as the favorite nephew of the deceased had said 'feel free to dress inappropriately. He would have loved to see some fights at his funeral'. Said nephew comes out of the bathroom (finally) in black dress pants and a button-down shirt (also black). I roll my eyes again,

"Finally. You know we're going to be late for _your_ uncle's funeral because you couldn't pull yourself away from the mirror. Well are we going?" I walk towards the door grabbing my borrowed handbag from Lily (a little black clutch to conceal my wand) and turn to see that Sirius Black is still standing in the doorway, "Is there a problem?" he shakes his head.

"No, no problem. You look really nice Nat." I smile and say,

"Thank you. Now can we go?" he nods and we quietly walk down to Dumbledore's office, where we would portkey to a heavily concealed area where no muggles could find people just magically appearing holding boots and brushes.

"Ah, Mr. Black, Miss. Holmes. Are you ready to go?" I glance at Sirius who has a peculiar expression on his face: no expression at all.

"Yes, Professor." I say, as I'm suppose my companion won't be saying much today. Great. Maybe that's why he brought me. Because I'm less likely to stick my foot in my mouth than Jamie is. Dumbledore hands us an old shoe and taps it with his wand. Sirius emotionlessly puts his hand on the shoe and I feel the familiar pull behind my naval as we are taken to Alphred's funeral. I luckily land on my feet and so does Sirius to my right once we let go of the Portkey.

"Hey, Sirius. Pull it together. Do you think your uncle would want you to just sit like an empty shell _at his funeral_? To grieve is okay, no matter what your family may or may not think about it. So pull it together and introduce me to your family."

"I'm sorry about this. I'm kind of throwing you to the wolves. I have no idea who's going to be here. My parents and brother could be for all I know. You shouldn't have come. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Bringing you here will make you a target for my family. I'm sorry." I roll my eyes and tap my foot; infinitely grateful no one else has shown up yet to see the tiny disagreement going on.

"Sirius. Shut up, will you? I'm trying to do the right thing and be a good friend, but you're making it awfully damn hard. I knew what I was doing when I said I'd go with you, and I'm here now, so just move on, will you?" he nods and says,

"So—"

"Oh, and say sorry to me again and watch what happens."

"Never mind then." I laugh and quietly accept the arm he offers me as we walk towards the outdoor funeral of Alphard Black, favorite uncle to Sirius Black, disowned in life, but not in death by his family.

Apparently, in the House of Black, no matter how much the entire family hates you and everything you stand for, if you die, every single Black still alive _will _show for your funeral. And, apparently, if you show up with the runaway nephew of the deceased, as soon as you walk in, people stop talking and stare. Fantastic. I see Bellatrix and Narcissa, the both of whom graduated last year, and I'm pretty sure I see Regulus in the corner, but he's gone too quickly for me to be sure, as they all kind of look alike. Tall, haughty, dark looks, and topped off with a healthy dose of attractiveness. I hear the boy next to me snicker and say,

"Thanks, but you want to be careful with what you think. I'm not the only one here who's a Legimens." I close my thoughts down and start to pay lots of attention to the people around me. I see a couple that Sirius says is Cygnus and Druella, the parents of Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda. Eventually, people stop staring and Sirius says,

"So much fun right?" I smile and say,

"Eh, they're not too bad. Not yet at least."

"Come on, let's go find Andy." Turns out the favorite cousin found us first. She comes out of nowhere and hugs Sirius tightly. He hugs her back and says,

"Andy. Thank God you're here. I thought I might be alone in this Hellhole for a minute." Andy grins at him and says,

"Sirius Orion Black. Did you bring a guest?" She grins at me and I smile a little, unsure if she still remembers our brief meeting, her last week of school, "Course this is Natalia Holmes. I think she can take 'em. I'm Andy, but we've already met. How have you been?" I smile and say,

"I've been good. Yourself?" She smiles a big smile and I see how much warmer her features and personality are than her family members.

"Wonderful. I suppose this one here," she pokes Sirius in the chest, who looks deeply affronted at being shut out of the conversation, "told you about me and Ted. Oh, and I have such great news! I'm expecting!" I gasp in delight.

"Congratulations! How far along are you?" She opens her mouth to answer, and then her smile vanishes and instead she says darkly,

"Something wicked this way comes, cuz." Sirius turns and looks over my head and puts an arm around my waist, something totally strange for him to do, especially considering that we're not dating. I turn too, to see three people approaching.

A woman and two men, one of which I recognize as Regulus Black. That meant the other two were his parents. Sirius' parents. It suddenly becomes very clear to me as to why it is exactly James isn't here. He would kill them, or at least give it his best shot. Jamie considers the eldest Black boy his brother, and the parents that had terrorized him and abused him for almost 16 years are on the very short list of people he'd like to kill with his bare hands. Sirius looks down at me and says,

"Say nothing unless you're spoken to. Understand? This isn't your battle. Promise me, please." I hesitate then nod. This is no place for bloodshed. Too much has already been spilled on account of these people, theirs doesn't need to be added to it. He pulls me closer and I say nothing, as promised.

"Sirius. Andromeda. And who is this? Regulus, who is this girl?" Walburga Black's voice is strong and sounds like how I remember her nieces Bellatrix and Narcissa sound. I say nothing as Andy quietly takes my hand and begins to slowly pull me away from the unavoidable fight coming on. I hear Regulus say,

"Natalia Holmes. Gregg and Tara's only child." His mother dryly says,

"Who?"

"The girl who killed Pollux." I wince and Andy looks at me like 'is he serious'. I nod sadly and hope to god she's a Legimens like her cousin. I briefly flick through the memory and her eyes widen, meaning she had 'seen' it. She nods and squeezes my hand as I hear Walburga Black say,

"Ah, yes, I remember now. Strong magic. Hm, such a shame she was taken in by those blood-traitor Potters. She would have made such a lovely Pureblood housewife." I shudder a little as her gaze travels over me and Sirius dryly says,

"Mother, I would so appreciate it if you would refrain from trying to sell my friends off on the black market." I glance at him, surprised at the voice: cold and unfeeling and so unlike the teasing Sirius that wrote all over my bras last summer. Or the Sirius that had told me about his family in the Heads' Dorm. Orion decides to intervene on his wife's behalf.

"Sirius, respect your mother. She gave birth to you, after all." This sounds strange to me, but no one else says anything about it except there's a cold reply of,

"Ugh, don't remind me, Father." He glances at his brother and Regulus says just as scathingly to his older brother,

"What are you looking at Blood Traitor?" The Gryffindor Black grins humorlessly and says,

"Not much, believe me." And then there's a flying arm and a sick crunching sound. I jump and Andy yelps in surprise. Before anyone can intervene both, and not just the older, Black boys are on the ground, one with a bloody nose and the other with a seemingly broken jaw. Andy has apparently had enough, now that two of her cousins are rolling on the floor in pain.

"Stop! This is a funeral. Not a free-for-all. How _dare_ you all come here and abuse and hate each other! No wonder Alphard hated you lot. You two, come with me." She gestures to the both of us and I pull Sirius off the ground and extract my wand from my bag and say,

"Don't move. _Episky._" He winces and rubs his newly fixed nose.

"Thanks. How bad's my face?" I shrug.

"Eh, wipe some of the blood off and you'll be fine. Come on, I think the hormonal pregnant lady is on the warpath." He snickers and we follow her to a secluded part of the cemetery.

"I wanted to talk to you, Sirius, and I don't know if you want her to hear this or not." He shrugs and I mumble something along the lines of,

"I'll just go hide in a corner somewhere." I walk off and leave the cousins to talk out whatever it is they need to. I wander off and sit on a bench quietly reflecting on what had happened today so far.

I had been awkwardly stared at by the guy who wants in my pants to win a bet, I had been judged by one of the richest, most powerful families in Wizarding England in its entirety, I had seen Sirius and Regulus punch each other and Walburga Black was considering selling me to a Pureblood boy to be his wife. And to think it's not even noon yet.

"We need to talk Holmes." I don't even look up. I'd know that voice anywhere. Two people have it, and one doesn't call me Holmes anymore.

"What do you want Regulus?"


	16. There's No Shame In It

**Disclaimer 1: it's not mine, and there's a PoA reference in here, PM me or review if you catch it!**

**Disclaimer 2: Crying Sirius.**

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"Why are you here?" I look at him now, and meet his blue eyes. They're not grey like his brothers, but they're close. He's standing in front of me, with his arms crossed and his jaw apparently healed by his mommy.

"Because your brother asked me to come with him." He snorts and says,

"So, and I repeat, _why are you here?_"

"Because your brother asked me to come with him." I again. No Regulus, I just decided to show up on my own and happened to run into the only Black I'm friends with on my way in.

"You know he's going to use you. My parents may not know about the bet because they pay no attention to the Daily Prophet, but _I do._ Why did you come if you know he's going to try to use you?"

"Yes, I know that, but I don't feel like I'm in a position to tell someone I live with that 'no, I won't go with you to the funeral of one of the few family members you actually like'. And besides, I'm pretty sure that it's none of your business what I do with my life." I snap at him. And he smirks, too much like his brother for my liking. Once Sirius Black is enough for the world. From now until forever.

"I'm just curious Holmes, calm down, you don't need to blow an artery too. That's our job." He says humorlessly, "I should go. I hear the boy with the broken nose approaching. I swear he'd be more subtle if he rode a buffalo everywhere he went. Later Holmes." I didn't quite know what to say to that, so I say nothing at all, and as Regulus vanishes from sight, his brother walks into view, giving me the impression of the same person walking in a circle.

I never noticed how much alike they look at a distance. But as Sirius approaches, the differences are more noticeable than any similarities there may be between the two. Grey eyes instead of blue, a little taller, definitely built broader in the shoulders and chest, different hair, well haircuts at least, the younger Black's hair is shorter, and much more groomed than his brother's hair, the looks on their faces was the big difference, despite all of the physical ones. Regulus had looked at me with borderline interest when he had spoken to me, like he was thinking of what he'd rather be doing at that moment, and talking to Sirius makes it very noticeable that he only saw in the present, and what is happening around him at that very moment.

"Hey, Nat, did I hear you talking to someone? Please tell me it was the squirrels and not one of my family members." I sigh dramatically,

"Alas, I was not talking to the wildlife. Your brother decided he wanted to have a little chat with me."

"He _what__? _Did he say anything gross because now I know my mother thinks that you'd be an ideal Pureblood wife. Seriously Nat, what did he want?"

"He wanted to know why I was here. He actually asked me that twice because I don't think he believed me when I said it was because you asked me to come with you."

"And that's it? _You're sure_?" I hesitate. _"You know he's going to use you…"_ I nod.

"Positive." I almost ask what Andy wanted to tell him then realize it's probably ridiculously invasive to ask that so I hold myself back. He nods suspiciously and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm omitting something, but he says nothing. Just then his head snaps up and says,

"Andy says we need to find seats for the service." I roll my eyes at the damn Legimens and nod. We walk back to where most of the family from Hell is gathered and Andy waves us over to two seats next to her. Sirius puts me between the two of them with a quiet,

"Better me than you, trust me." Ted is on Andy's other side and I introduce myself to him with a smile and congratulations on the baby on the way. He grins a huge grin just as someone stands to speak about Alphard Black.

Maybe that's another reason I was here instead of James. He thought I'd say nothing if he cries. He was right if that thought was behind the choice. There would be no judgment, not from me. No, I would not judge or tell anyone, and I suspected he knew so.

"Alphard was a good man. He loved his family, and was a caring and giving person to those he cherished. And as so, specifically asked that two of his relatives come and speak. Sirius and Andromeda." I look at the people on both sides of me and they both have fixed looks on their faces. Andy shakes her head faintly and Ted says something to her. She shakes her head again and he whispers something to her. She finally nods and stands. I glance down to see Sirius' hands are shaking violently.

"Sirius. Are you going to go up there?" He shakes his head, "Why not?"

"Nat. you don't understand. If I go up there, I'll lose it and you'll have to carry me out of here sobbing."

"I understand more than you know. James had to pull me off the coffin at my mom's funeral, because I wouldn't let go and I couldn't stop sobbing and screaming for her to come back. No one understands better, trust me. Don't you think he deserves for someone to break down and cry at his funeral? For someone to admit they care enough to cry? Because I promise you the rest of your family isn't too cut up, that much I'm sure of. There's no greater way to honor a life, than to cry for it's loss. There's no shame in it. Not even a little."

"I—I don't even know what I'd say." Andy is making her speech and I vaguely hear her tell a story that involved a pair of shoes and her as a child, as she cries and laughs at the same time. There are people here that aren't Blacks and I hear them laugh at the story. The friends of Alphard sit in the back, behind the family that doesn't really care.

"Just talk. Everything you told me when I found you in the kitchen. Just talk to me. Just pretend they're not there and talk to me about it." He nods and Andy finishes her speech that I suspected she was prolonging because of the conversation she sees we're having. She nods and there is a polite clap from her family and a louder, more sincere applause from the friends in the back rows. She gestures for Sirius to come up and I smile at him encouragingly. "Just talk." I whisper and he nods vaguely.

"Hi, er, so I had no idea I was going to be speaking so, if I start to go in circles, sorry. So, I'm supposed to be telling you about my uncle. Well, he was a pretty cool guy, one of those guys that no matter how young he insisted he was he always had an endless stream of stories of that time he almost was killed by a dragon or that other time where a veela tried to marry him 'because he was just that hot'. That was the one we all knew never really happened." The friends laugh in the back and I smile. Sounds like an older Sirius, "When I was young, I wanted to be just like him, adored by his friends, he had seen the world by the time he was 30, and of course, all the women." His friends chuckle and I guess that Alphard put his nephew to shame in terms of women, "And I know that none of you know this, because I never told anyone, but Alphard begged me to not become like him when I was about 16." Here come the tears. I smile a little at him as he glances over. I nod slightly and Andy takes my hand and she quietly says,

"You're giving him the strength to do this. You know that right?" I smile and say nothing.

"I asked him 'why on Earth not?' and in typical Alphard fashion he grinned and said 'cuz it sucks'. Well, this threw me for a loop. But he said, and by god I remember it to this day. He said that he was never brave enough to overcome his upbringing, that he could never find it in his heart to finally love a woman enough to tie the knot or even say 'I love you'. He asked me to be strong enough to become a better person, and to find someone that makes me better, that makes me _want_ to be better than I am. And I didn't promise him that then, but I can—I can now. So I guess tha—that's all I have to say about him, is that he always wan…wanted what was best for everyone else. Everyone except himself." Andy pokes me and says,

"Go get him Nat. He's done, but he isn't going to move on his own. He's too busy drowning in sorrow." I stand and I feel every eye in the crowd turn towards me, which I pointedly ignore. Ignoring crowds is a specialty of mine. I'm James Potter's little sister, best friend of the Head Girl and of Professor McGonagall's niece. Ignoring stares is something I'm a pro at. I silently walk up to the stage-podium thing that Sirius was speaking behind and quietly take his hand and lead him off stage, and back to his seat, with absolutely no protest from him. This time I put him in the middle and take his seat, warding off the family that was staring harshly. I place my back towards whoever is sitting next to me and turn to look at the crying boy on my other side.

"Sirius, do you want to go? We can go immediately after the service." He nods and says,

"Okay. Can we?" I nod and not 5 minutes later the service draws to a close. We rise and I hug Andy goodbye and wish her and Ted all the luck in the world with the baby as her cousin just stands there, apparently numb. I take his hand and apparate with a crack into Hogsmeade. I take him to the Three Broomsticks, which is virtually empty and ask for two Butterbeers. Rosmerta hands them to me and I pay with a quiet thanks. I sit Sirius down at a booth and say,

"Sirius. How are you feeling?" He doesn't look up from his death stare with the table, "Sirius. Look at me. Or at least answer." Nothing. "Fine don't answer the girl who just went _to a funeral_ for you." He sighs, finally looking up from the table.

"Sorry. You didn't need to see that. No one needed to see that."

"He deserved someone to say something they meant. Why do you think he asked for you and Andy to speak and not your parents? Or his parents, who I'm sure are still alive somewhere if he was only 47 or so."

"He wanted to put me through Hell. Which is exactly what he did."

"Maybe. Or maybe he didn't want his funeral to be completely full of people who didn't care. Maybe he wanted there to be someone he loves speaking."

"You're probably right. I just can't believe that he's actually gone."

"James used to tell me something when I was little and I would say the exact same thing about my mom, and you can't tell him I told you this because he would say it was 'compromising his masculinity' or something, but he used to tell me that the people that love us never really leave us, that we can always find them inside of us. Alphard's still with you, he'll never leave you, and as long as you remember the man you knew and love, he'll always be with you." He smiles a little,

"James told you that?" I smile a little too.

"Yeah, but you can't tell anyone. He'll freak out and become all embarrassed and shit. And as funny as that is, I wouldn't do that to him, not over that. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone, and I only told you because you really looked like you needed some advice and a little laughter at the same time."

"He really is your brother isn't he?" I nod.

"When I first started living with the Potters, I couldn't sleep in my bed alone, so every night I would walk to James' room and sleep in the same bed as him, until it happened for so long and so consistently that he started to come to me instead, assuming that I'd want to share a bed. We slept like that for almost two years, until we went to Hogwarts and were put in dorms, and then it became weird because of puberty and stuff. But yeah, he's my brother alright." We both finish our Butterbeers and walk out of the Three Broomsticks and back towards the castle.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"I really wished I could have met him. What he said to you was wisdom beyond 47 years. What he said was true. You deserve happiness, wherever you can find it. He seems like a great man."

"He was Nat, he really was. I wish you could have met him too. He would have liked you. He would have said you had enough spunk to piss off my entire family. And from him, there was no higher compliment."


	17. And They Say Chivalry is Dead

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**Short, yet emotional, and for all you Jily shippers, you're welcome.  
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"Have fun?" I flop onto my bed and answer Lils sarcastically,

"Oh, yeah. Nothing quite beats going to a funeral for a good man with a lunatic family. Wait, Lils, not to be rude or anything, but what are you doing here?" She smiles and sits on my bed.

"If you can imagine, L and Care are in detention again—"

"What _is it _with those two lately?"

"Who knows? But they're in detention and I figured you'd want to talk about it. So how was it? Like really." I hesitate. This is Lily. I can tell her anything. I love her to death and she keeps my secrets all the time.

"Really bad. Don't get me wrong, the service was lovely, but his family wasn't. Oh God Lils, Sirius and Regulus got into a fight."

"Were either of them hurt?"

"Sirius broke Regulus' jaw, and Regulus broke Sirius' nose. They got into this fight and then God, Alphard specifically asked for Sirius and his cousin—"

"Andy?"

"Yeah. He asked for both of them to speak in his will. It was horrible. He was crying and I had to pull him away. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. And he talked about how his uncle had asked him to find love and be a better man than he could have been." I feel the familiar tightness in my throat and for the first time today, I finally cry. Lils hugs me and I cry into her hair "It was the mo—most heart…breaking thing I've _ever_ heard in my life." I gasp for air around the sobs that I couldn't stop from coming.

"Oh sweetie, you had to be strong for him, didn't you?" I nod.

"I shouldn't have told you any of this. Please don't tell anyone, not even Lynn and Carrie. I love them to bits, but if they see an opportunity to use that to their advantage, they'll take it." She nods.

"Of course I won't tell anyone, Nat. Here, why don't you get changed and we'll go sit by the lake?" I nod and change out of the black funeral dress and into a pair of dark wash jeans and an old shirt of Jamie's. I decide to go barefoot, despite the October chill and we head down to the Lake. We walk down in silence as I furiously try to dry my eyes and Lily eyes my bare feet with disproval.

"You know, Nat, you really should have worn shoes." I smirk and reply,

"Well, it's too late now, isn't it?" She rolls her eyes and flings an arm over my shoulders,

"I suppose it is. Oh, look. We weren't the only ones with this idea." She gestures and down by the lake is Sirius and Jamie, both easily identifiable from the back. Jamie turns around, smiles a little and waves us over. We walk over to the boys and Sirius turns to see who James is waving over. I sit between them, and Lils sits next to Jamie, on his other side. Jamie says,

"So Nat, I take it you had bunches of fun, too?" I roll my eyes,

"Of course. Funerals are the new parties, didn't you know?" he grins and says,

"Well, Padfoot here won't tell me _anything_. Will you?" I roll my eyes again. These boys are so predictable. Of course Sirius had told him everything. They both just wanted to see what I'd say or not say.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"Did he cry? Please tell me Nat." I feel the boy on my other side tense and I say,

"Jamie…if he cried I didn't see him." Okay, so a lie, but a merciful one nonetheless. You owe me, Black. I think and hope he had decided to pay attention to my thoughts. I hate lying to James.

"Was it emotional? Was there an emotional speech made?" Lily is on Jamie's other side with her head in her hands, faintly shaking her head. I sarcastically say,

"Of course! Walburga and Orion couldn't stop the emotions from pouring out! Then everyone hugged out all their problems!" He huffs at me,

"Fine. Don't tell me." I stand up and say

"Got that right." I flick his nose and say, "and what would your mother think if she knew you were nosing into other people's business? Come on Lils, Kitchens?" She stands too, and nods. We leave and she says bye to the both of them and I ruffle Jamie's hair, the owner of which pulls Lily off to say something to her. That leaves Sirius and I, just standing there, waiting for our respective best friends.

"Nat…"

"Don't. You _know_ how much I hate lying to him, and you asked him to pressure me like that, didn't you? To see what I'd say. _Didn't you?_" I hiss at him. He backs up.

"Nat. No don't you walk away from me Natalia Katherine Holmes. I _didn't_ tell him anything; he actually wanted to know because I hadn't told him anything about the funeral, or what you said, or how I was punched my brother. I didn't. So thank you for not saying anything either." I nod.

"Oh. Well I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions then. I should go, Lils looks like she's about ready to pee her pants." He nods,

"Okay, well see you later then." I nod.

"See ya." I catch up to Lils and she squeals at me,

"Nat!"

"Lils!" I yell back.

"James asked me to the Halloween Ball!" I smile and ask the obvious,

"Well, what did you say?" She starts squealing again and jumping up and down, "So you said yes? Really?" She nods and her eyes are lit up and her smile is so big I'm afraid it'll break her face in two. I hug her and glance back to see Sirius slapping Jamie on the back in congratulations. I smile at the dazed look on his face. Guess perseverance does really count for something these days. And they say chivalry is dead.


	18. Sirius Black: Sexually Conflicted

**Disclaimer: yeahh. that awkward moment when you don't own anything that the reader recognizes.**

**Hey! So, this is a Ball related chapter, but not the Ball. Oh, and I didnt really intend for this ending to the chapter, or for this to even happen, but if you write you know what I mean when I say that the characters made me do it! **

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**Oh, and I've mentioned that I suck ass at describing clothes, so I put the pictures of the dresses up on my profile. Carrie's and Lynn's will both go up the chapter of the ball. Check it out guys!**

So, the next day (a Sunday) Lily and I are sneaking into Hogsmeade, to look for a dress for Lily. Well, seeing as neither of us knew the way exactly, Lily, _Sirius,_ and I are sneaking into Hogsmeade a day later.

"If you get us caught, Black, I will murder you with my bare hands." He chuckles as he screws around with a statue,

"You and Prongs _are_ a match made in Heaven, aren't you?" I snicker and say,

"Or somewhere else." He chuckles and she whacks us both of us over our heads,

"Ah, here we are, after you ladies." We both step into a passage that had been concealed by the witch's hump. Weird.

"Do I _want _to know how you four found this?" he laughs and says,

"What can I say? Moony's got a thing for hunchback ladies." I laugh and Lils says,

"Don't tell Care that. She'll knock you flat on your ass." Sirius laughs at her as we make our way to Hogsmeade,

"I'd like to see Yin try, Evans. I'd like to see her try." She rolls her eyes,

"How do you put up with this, Nat?" I chuckle and say,

"You build up a tolerance to it. Eventually you might actually find him funny."

"Doubtful."

"Hey! I'm right here, you know!"

"That's nice."

"Don't insult me Natalia! Oh, we're here." He pushes up on a piece of rock, and it moves to reveal an opening. We all crawl out and Lils whispers,

"Where are we?"

"Honeydukes cellar, Evans. You're welcome, just by the way." She says nothing and we all slip upstairs and we all slip under the cloak, which had been swiped from Jamie without his knowledge last night, by his favorite sister ever. We ease past the shopkeeper and once we're out on the street, we pull the cloak off, and head towards a dress shop. Lils and I both go right in, but Sirius, poor boy, hesitantly follows, looking like he'd rather be in about a million other places than here. I point to a chair and say,

"Sit. We'll be done in about an hour."

"_An HOUR?_"

"Perfection takes time. Stop your whining and sit, unless you'd rather pick out dresses." He says nothing and sits in the chair, pouting like a little child. I browse, looking for something for Lily. I'm flipping through dress after dress when I hear a call of,

"Nat? Do you want a short or long dress?"

"Lily Evans, you better not be looking for a dress for me and not yourself."

"Er, maybe I am maybe I'm not."

"Lily."

"Okay, fine. I am. Do you want me to have Sirius look for you instead?" I think about all the very short dresses headed my way if he did and say,

"That's okay. We'll look for me after we look for you, okay. Actually Lils? Come here, I think I found something." She appears a moment later and I hold the dress up for her to see.

"That's beautiful, Nat. But it's—"

"Green, I know, but Jamie will just have to deal. Go try it on."

"I will when we find something for you." I sigh and let her pick dress after dress for me. We walk by Sirius, who looks like he would rather be anywhere else and he tosses something at me.

"Try it on Nat. The lady says it'll look good."

"Why were you talking to the lady?"

"She wanted to know who I was here with and I said and she gave me this 'for the blonde one'." He shrugs and I add it to the pile. Lily decides almost instantly on her dress and I cheer for my pick. I've always had a hard time with dresses and she knows it, so Lils gets ready for the long haul. Dress after dress goes on and comes of, all falling into the growing reject pile. I'm finally left with the dress that the lady supposedly gave Sirius, even though the more I looked at it, the more it reeked of a Gryffindor boy picking it out. Short. Tight. Strapless. Bright red.

"Lily. Can you come zip me up?" She enters a moment later and zips up the illusive red dress.

"I wish I looked good in red. But _nooo_ I have ginger hair. That's the one, just by the way. Go out and look in the mirror." I frown at her and wonder if she's just screwing with me or not. I walk out and look in the mirror. It _did _look good. Red _is _a good color on me and it always has been, because unlike my ginger counterpart, it doesn't clash horribly with my hair.

"I think that might be a winner Nat." I turn to look at her,

"How can you tell?"

"Generally, when boys stare, it's a good sign." She gestures over to Sirius, who is blatantly staring at my chest. I roll my eyes and sweetly say,

"Sirius, sweetheart, keep your eyes on mine or watch what happens." He looks at my face with a quick,

"Whoops. Sorry Nat." I consider it and Lils nod encouragingly. I finally give in and buy the dress and a pair of black platform high heels to go with it.

"Is it over? Please tell me it's over." Lily rolls her eyes and says,

"Yes, Black, it's over. Oh, by the way, sorry I'm stealing your lover from you. You'll just have to find another date for the Ball?"

"What do you mean, Evans? You're going w—wait, me and James aren't gay for each other!" I laugh and say,

"Is that why you are on this quest to sleep with all these girls? Are you trying to hide your true sexuality?" His face turns red and Lils high fives me, victorious

"Aw, Black's going red. Look Nat!" She pulls out her camera and snaps a picture of his tomato-colored face before he can protest.

"I'm _not gay_, Evans, so let it go." I grin and chuckle at him again,

"Sure you're not. _Sure._"

"Really. I'm not gay for Prongs. Or anyone else." Lils roll her eyes,

"We hear you. Kind of. I still think you're sexually conflicted though."

"Are you sure you don't want to change your mind?"

"Lils maybe you—"

"I'm sure." I roll my eyes, so I don't see him kiss me. Of course I kiss him back, what can I say? He knows what he's doing. I'd hope so after 59 girls. I pull my hand back and do the first thing I can think of to protect my pride. I slap him. Hard.

"Ow! What the fuck Nat?" he puts a hand over his face as he yells.

"Me? You fucking kissed me, you toolbag!" I scream back at him. People passing by watch us, amused with the silly teenagers. Those assholes.

"Yeah, to prove a point! You didn't have to slap me for shit's sake." He moves his hand of his face and there's an obvious hand-print where I had slapped him and a cut where a ring I had been wearing had cut his cheek open.

"I'm sorry. Move your goddamn hand." He drops his hands and I wave my wand at it. The cut and hand-print vanish instantly, "There. Happy now?"

"Er, one more thing, do you think you—" I roll my eyes and turn to Lily, who is watching, amused, with my dress in her hand. She must have grabbed it from me before I had slapped Sirius. I make a mental note to thank her later.

"Lils, I don't think he's gay."


	19. Dolphins, Butterflies, and Unicorns

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**Hey! So OMG two in one day?! I know, I'm just crazy! So I'm having problems uploading, and if anyone can help me, it would be much appreciated! I write this lovely in Microsoft Word and I've never had a problem with it up until today, and now it's saying I need to select a file even though I already have. I'm kind of technologically stupid, so anything will help!**

**Oh, and Kreacher hasn't changed his insult much in the past 20 or so years, obviously ;)**

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I can't believe that bastard actually kissed me. The nerve of some people, I swear—

"Miss Holmes! Would it kill you to actually pay more attention to the class than to your cuticles?" I glance up from my nails, which I had subconsciously been examining in my musings. Guess it's time for a manicure.

"Sorry, Professor." McGonagall goes back to teaching and Jamie whispers,

"I'll catch you up in a minute." I nod and she lets us go for the practical half of the lesson. James shows me the spell that I had completely missed and we both quickly master it.

I have always been pretty good and Transfiguration, and well, Jamie and Sirius, don't really need help after the Animagus thing back in Fifth Year.

"So. Nat."

"Yeah…"

"Lily told me the most interesting story about your unofficial Hogsmeade trip. But I want to hear this from you. What happened?" I'm going to kill Lily. Slowly and painfully. She told _my brother_. And not just my brother, but my _older_ brother.

"Well, we were having a totally normal day, all three of us, and then we left the store and Lily made some comment about how you and Sirius were gay for each other—"

"We are no such thing!"

"Is there a problem, Potter?"

"No, no problem, Professor."

"Yeah, well we were both kind of teasing him and then he asked Lily if she wanted to change her mind and she said no. And then he kissed me."

"I'm going to kill him. I _told him_. I told him to leave you alone, despite the bet."

"James, I don't think it was a ploy to jump into bed with me. I'm pretty sure it was to prove a point. Speaking of the bet, are you any closer to finding out who Jenny is? Oh, don't look at me like that, Jamie. I'm not blind or dumb you know."

"We're not any closer than we were almost a month ago. We know it's a girl, and she's probably in the upper half of the school. And that's it. We have _no_ idea what house, what year. Hell, she may not even go here anymore and may just have younger siblings passing information. Whoever she is, she's carful as Hell to make sure no one will discover her identity." I nod and relax a little on the inside.

They still have no idea. I need to be careful though. Sirius can hear thoughts, and I'm pretty sure he's been paying more attention to mine than I would really like.

"Well, good luck. People have been trying to figure out who she is for years, since it started, right?"

"Yeah, but Nat, we're _us_."

"Very observant. I was really beginning to wonder who you were. But now I know. You're _you_."

"Don't be a smartass. You know what I meant. We're the Marauders. We're the best there are at this type of thing." I roll my eyes,

"Oh, James. I'm sure you are." I just really hope not. Because if they're as good as Jamie thinks they are, I'm all but dead.

"Prongs!" We both turn to Sirius and Remus catching up as we all leave Transfiguration at the end of the lesson.

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk. Like now." I raise an eyebrow and say,

"I think I'll just go now. See you later Jamie. Thanks for the crash course." He grins and winks at me,

"Anytime Nattie. Just ask if you need help with anything. See ya later." I wave and head down to the Kitchens to grab some food before dinner.

As I climb through the portrait hole that leads to the Kitchens, I knock a house elf over, purely on accident. I immediately kneel down and help her up.

"I'm so sorry. I should really watch where I'm going. My mom always used to say I had two left feet. I'm always falling and knocking things over. And people too, I guess." Her eyes widen and she squeals in shock.

"Oh, miss, it was Blinky's fault! I is so sorry miss."

"Oh, no! I knocked you over. I'm positive of it."

"Misses is so kind to me. Why?" I smile at her,

"You're a person too. You have feeling just like I do, and you deserve just as much respect as anyone else, I suppose." She smiles this huge grin and hugs my leg. This little elf is really quite adorable.

"Miss is so kind! Blinky has never had a person be so kind. Mr. Dumbledore is very nice, but we _do_ work for him. How can Blinky help Miss?" I smile and shrug,

"Hm, can just I have a turkey sandwich, please? I have lots of homework to do. And Blinky, you can just call me Nat, like everyone else does."

"Oh, no, you is a student, and we serve students, Miss Holmes. I go gets your sandwich now." I smile as she rushes off. I realize I never told her my last name, but suppose that Jamie had probably mentioned me at some point when he was in the Kitchens.

"You're too kind to them." I jump and see Sirius at the lone table in the Kitchens, other than the house tables. But he looks, well, _wrong_. I walk a little closer and say,

"She has feelings, just like you and me, Regulus. Just because they're house elves doesn't mean we get to treat them like dirt."

"They're servants."

"But they feel, they can be abused and hurt, just like anyone else. Humanity and mercy are virtues, you know."

"Some people would disagree with you."

"Do you kick puppies in your free time or something?"

"No, but you should ask my brother about how he treats Kreacher. You'll be very interested in what he says, believe me. They say you can tell what a man's soul looks like by how he treats those that are beneath him. Let's hope for his sake, that's not true." And without another word, he leaves. I accept my sandwich and ask her,

"Blinky? Have you met Sirius Black?" She smiles,

"The older Mr. Black? Yes! He is good to House Elves, just like miss! Both Mr. Black's are." I relax, but if Regulus had been aiming to make me wonder what it was exactly that happened in the House of Black, it had worked. I thank her and leave the Kitchens, thinking about who Kreacher is, and why Regulus would tell me to go talk to his brother, who he hates, about him.

I have the distinct feeling I'm not going to like the answer I get from him. It takes me almost a week to work up the courage to ask him. It's the Wednesday before the Ball by the time I finally get a chance to pursue the topic with the eldest Black boy.

"Sirius?" We're in Charms and we had been partnered. Well, kind of. James and Lily had decided to pair off, so the both of us, as their usual partners, had been put together.

"Yeah…you have a funny look on your face. What's up?"

"Who's Kreacher?" He looks like he's been slapped. I would know. God knows I've slapped him enough to recognize the face he makes when it happens.

"Where did you hear that name? Nat…seriously. Who did you talk to that knows about Kreacher?"

"I was in the Kitchens last week and I ran into your brother. Well, I thought he was you at first but then I realized it wasn't, but anyways, I knocked a House Elf over and I helped her up and all that and he said that I was too nice to her. I told him that House Elves have emotions and they should be treated with respect. Then I asked him if he kicked puppies in his spare time. He said that didn't but that I should ask you about how you treat Kreacher…I was curious." He sighs.

"Next time I see Regulus, I'm going to kill him. Kreacher is my parent's House Elf. He's horrid, he always was, and I can remember him being a pain even when I was a little kid. I'm not proud of how I treated him when I lived with my family, but I wasn't very nice to him. I never hit him or anything, which is what I know you're thinking. I can tell by the look on your face. I just wasn't very, erm, friendly to him, is all." I nod.

"Is there a particular reason?"

"He, I don't know, he just represented everything I hate about my family. And he believed all that bullshit so wholeheartedly. He was being stepped on and he supported it. It was horrible to watch, and somehow he managed to hate 'the blood-traitor brat' who 'isn't fit to clean his mother's shoes'. I hated him for what he represented. Not because he was a House Elf. I love the House Elves here." I smile

"They certainly have only nice things to say about you."

"You asked the House Elves about me?"

"Blinky was right there and I guessed that Kreacher was a House Elf when Regulus said that. They all think you're incredibly kind."

"So you're not pissed?"

"No, I'm not thrilled, but I can understand that it wasn't a House Elf thing, but a principle thing."

"I'd hate him if he was human, so yeah, it's a principle thing."

SIRIUS POV

I hadn't thought about Kreacher for over a year until Nat had brought it up in Charms. When she had asked me about him she had this look on her face that said she was thinking that I secretly punched kittens when I didn't have homework or wasn't out on the Full Moons. It kind of upset me, to be honest. I like her as a person, I really do. I certainly don't love her or anything. But she's definitely a friend. Or that's what I convinced myself of, up until I kissed her. In front of Evans, no less.

She was pretty, there was no denying. Smart, talented, and all of that. Unfortunately, she's also the only girl in the upper four years I _haven't _been with. That's probably because she's also wildly temperamental and proud, like her brother. She can be wild, out-of-control, and stubborn, but she can also be mature, withdrawn, and gentle. It all depends on the mood you catch her in. My uncle's funeral will mean more to me than she ever knows, for a very long time. So, as I look at her now, as she tries to perform the Charms spell, without blowing our eyebrows off, I grin a little and she glances up and says,

"Oh, so you're just going to sit there? Let's see you do it then. Go on." I flick my wand and she scowls as birds appear out of nowhere. A sixth year spell, but a useful one no one had ever really mastered. So, Flitwick had us reviewing. "That is so unfair. Why can't I be good at Charms? And Herbology, for that matter." I laugh.

"It's all practice. Really. We got lots of practice in Fifth Year. Try again." She tries again and nothing happens.

"Of course. Ah, I'll figure it out later." She glances over my shoulder, "God, I can't believe the Ball is this weekend. And I'm going alone. Great. How is it every time there's one of these things, I _always _end up going alone? Now I can't even go with Lils, because she's going with my brother." I have the distinct feeling she no longer is paying attention to me as she's talking.

"Well what about McGonagall?"

"_Please._ It's Lynn. _She's_ actually pretty. Really beautiful, actually. Of course she has a date. They all do." She says nothing else and Flitwick dismisses us and we all pack up. By the time I see her again she's with Evans, and she's listening to Evans' chatter about how she and James were going to have such a great time at the Ball. I catch her eye and she gives me a small, heartbreaking, smile and then answers a question Evans asks and she's laughing and grinning for her best friend in the blink of an eye, just how she should be. I push my thoughts towards her. I hear her thoughts, just as my parents had taught me to do.

_She's my best friend, and she's finally with her soul mate. I need to at least have the decency to be happy for her. Too bad I'll be alone, as per usual. James is going with Lily, Remus and Care, L and her guy, Sirius and some bimbo with fake boobs, and me, all by myself. No. Pull it together and don't think about it. And I can't even get drunk because of—dolphins. Butterflies. Unicorns._ There's sadness under the voice of her inner mind, there always is. Such a shame no one even knows she's something other than the perky blonde we all see everyday. A perky blonde that's hiding something behind dolphins, butterflies, and unicorns.

And I'll be damned if I can't figure out what it is.

**A.N.**

**So, I did Sirius' POV at the end, because it seemed to fit pretty well. So let me know what you thought of it and I'll go from there. I want to know if you think it enriches the fic or hurts it! Please give me feed back guys!**

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	20. A Bobby Pin Away From Insanity

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**Hey! So I know everyone is waiting for the Ball, but that's not here yet! Next chapter or the one after I pinky promise! so I have Spring Break next week so get ready for some MAJOR updates, especially on Everything Has Changed, which I have seriously been neglecting.**

**I hope you like this one and Carrie's and Lynn's dresses are up on my profile!**

**Oh, and a note on Lynn's dress: it's a little slutty, I'm not going to lie, but keep in mind that she loves to piss her aunt off. ;)**

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NATALIA POV

"Lils, come _on_ you lazy bum. I've been up for hours and _I _don't even have a date tonight. Yep, that's right the ball's tonight, it's half past noon, and _you're_ still asleep." Her eyes open and she says shrilly,

"What do you mean the ball's tonight?" I snort. Only Lily, I think fondly.

"Yes, Lils, the Ball starts in approximately 6 hours and _you_ my smelly friend, haven't even brushed your teeth." I grin as I lean up again one of the posts on her bed. She flies up and says,

"Oh, shut up. You think _I_ smell?" She gestures to me and I realize she does have a point. I've just come back from a run to find her still asleep.

"Fine. But seriously, go shower. I'll just use Jamie's." I shrug and grab a change of clothes and my shower bag. I pad over to my brother's room and stick my head in,

"Hey Nat." I grin,

"Hey can I shower in here? Your date's hogging her shower." He grins at the thought of Lily in the shower and I pull a face and there's a yell of,

"Oh, gross Prongs! Please keep your thoughts to yourself." from inside the bathroom. I laugh and roll my eyes and Jamie throws a Quaffle (where did that come from?) at his best friend.

"Yes, Nattie, you can shower in here. Oi, Padfoot mate, get out of the bathroom, my little sister needs a shower!" for a minute I have a suspicion that he'd come out completely naked and I prepare myself to scream and cover my eyes. Sirius comes out a minute later and he is, blissfully, clothed. He smirks and I think towards him, _oh, get out of my head, you pervert._ He chuckles and gestures towards the bathroom.

"All yours." I roll my eyes and slip into Jamie's bathroom. I strip off my gross jogging clothes and get in the shower. I turn the water to steaming, then I notice all the hair products.

Now, let me explain something. James' hair is like a force of nature, it can neither be explained nor tamed. It is its own entity and therefore all these hair products would be ridiculous, and after 17 years on this planet, he knows it.

So, this leads me to the conclusion that Sirius Black is even more vain than I originally thought. I pick one up out of curiosity. The label is in Russian.

"You have got to be kidding me, even his hair gets special treatment." I murmur to myself. I put it back where I found it and shake my head in disbelief as I set my eyes on a loofah. He's not going to live this one down.

I had just taken a shower with Sirius Black's hair products. And I somehow felt that all those foreign bottles of mystical hair products were somehow judging me, when I was shaving my legs.

I get out and try to escape the feeling that Sirius' shampoo somehow grew eyes, and wrap a towel around myself tightly. I get dressed into the sweatpants and tank top that I had brought with me, and head back to Lils' room, to find the other girls there, all getting ready. Carrie is trying to hold Lynn down long enough to put mascara on her eyelashes and Lily is painting her nails and quietly singing along to the song someone had put on the radio. They all look up as I enter and Carrie mascaras Lynn's left eye in her distraction. L howls her defeat and submits to the eye make-up, and the mercy of Carrie. I laugh and Lils passes me a bottle of metallic silver nail polish.

I love this stuff, no joke. You know, the kind that's shiny and reflective. Ah, it's the simple things, right? I wave my wand to make my nails dry instantly and sigh as I check the time. About three hours until the start of the Ball.

"Nat, how are you going to do your hair?" I look up to see Lily holding a bag of safety pins and a hairbrush.

"I think I'm going to leave it down, Lils."

"Are you sure? I really think you'd look lovely with your hair up." I shrug,

"I'm going to leave it down. You might want to help out Care though. I think she's a bobby pin away from insanity." Lils laughs and says,

"If you're sure…" I nod and hear,

"You get away from me with that thing, Yin!" I snort and decide it's time for me to make my exit briefly, before L barrels me over to escape the dreaded eyeliner pencil. I head down to the Heads' Common in my sweatpants and strapless bra, due to the excessive primping, and a full face of make-up. I lie down on the couch and stare at the ceiling, bored.

"Er, Nat, why is it you're in a bra and pants? Not that I'm complaining." I look over to see Sirius awkwardly standing at the bottom of Jamie's stairs, also in a state of undress. Dress pants and no shirt is a good look for him, I think absently.

"I'm getting ready for a Ball." I wave my hand dramatically and sigh. Ugh, I can feel a headache coming on.

"Yeah, and so am I, but you don't see me prancing around in my boxers."

"You don't have a shirt on." I point out dryly.

"Yes, well I'm a guy and that's not unusual." I shrug and sit up.

"Well you can leave if I make you uncomfortable."

"So why are you down here?"

"Lynn hates make-up, and Carrie is forcing some on her as we speak."

"So come hang with us for an hour or something, no one's having a breakdown, that much I promise." I shrug and stand up and follow him up to James' room, where all the boys are in similar states of almost-Ball dress as Sirius is. Except no one's screaming, or throwing things, they're just sitting there, playing Exploding Snap. Bless them.

"Hey Nat. McGonagall avoiding make-up again?" I nod and sit down on Jamie's bed as he questions my being there.

"You know it. Can I hang in here for like the next hour until things calm down?" He nods and tosses a pillow at me,

"You're always welcome you loser." I stick my tongue out at him and say,

"Oh, so when I took a shower in here this morning, I noticed that there was a loofah in the shower. So out of curiosity, which one of you boys likes to exfoliate?" James snorts and Remus ducks his head to smother his laughter. Sirius' face turns red and I laugh and toss the pillow at him,

"Aw, Sirius do you like to keep your pores nice and clean with the loofah?"

"Shut up Holmes." I roll my eyes and Remus deals me into the game of Exploding Snap.


	21. The Bad Seed

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"Are you serious?"

"No that's me."

"You've been up here THIS WHOLE TIME?" I cower behind Jamie as Lily stands in the doorway to his room, looking fit to murder.

"Well, yeah." I say.

"You do realize there's maybe oh, I don't know, _an hour_ until the Ball and you're still in sweats and a bra?" I smile sheepishly at her,

"Whoops."

"If I didn't love you so much Natalia I'd be ready to murder you right now." I ease out from behind James.

"Well, you do, so let's go!" I say and grab her as I walk back to her room, where as I enter, I remember why I wanted to leave. Things hadn't gotten calmer, as I had hoped they would: they had gotten more hectic. Lynn is now frantically avoiding the pair of heels that Carrie is trying to force her into, warding her off with a pair of flats, and it looks like someone has dropped a bomb filled with glitter, mascara, lip-gloss, and shoes on the room.

Is it bad the only thing I can thing is: those poor house elves?

Lily sits me down in front of the vanity and says,

"Thank God we already did your make-up, but the surprise _is_ ruined. Such a shame."

"Erm, Lils, you are aware that there's no one to surprise? I don't have a date." She smirks and I swear I hear her say,

"So oblivious." As she fiddles with my hair, "At least let me _try_ to do something with it."

"Lils, I want to wear it down."

"Please"

"Ugh…fine. But if I don't like it, it comes out."

"Deal." So she pulls out bobby pins and hairbrushes and other instruments of hair control. So, twenty minutes, about fifteen bobby pins, three hair ties, and a death threat later, my hair is done. I inspect it and give Lily props. She was right. Damn, I have to admit it, too. My hair, being blonde, was always an attention grabber and as much as I love to color, I sometimes hate people staring at it because it was kind of conspicuous in a crowd. She had it half up and half down, with the part that was up in kind of a loose, for lack of a better word, bun, with pieces falling out, and into the spirals she had charmed the rest of my hair into.

"So, was I right or was I right?" I grumble and say,

"You were right." She waves her wand at my head again and winks,

"Magic's stronger than hairspray, honey." I laugh and _finally_ put my dress on, with no more than 20 minutes until the ball started. But _of course_ we had to be there early so our friends, the Heads, could open the Ball with the teachers. I pull my dress on and look at myself in the mirror. The more I look at it, the more I suspect no woman had picked this dress out. No, this dress has hormonal teenage boy written all over it. I sigh and shake my head in resignation. It's far too late to do anything now, I suppose.

I help Lils into her dress because it's long and Care tells Lynn that her dress is going to make her aunt hemorrhage out in the middle of the dance floor, and then we'll all be spending the night in St. Mungo's. Lynn smirks and gives her friend a wink that clearly says 'good'. I snatch Lils' camera and slip down the stairs, to where to boys are. Remus and Jamie are both standing at the foot of the stairs looking anxious. Both jump when I close the door and I grin when they both realize it's me and not their dates. I make it to the end of the stairs and say,

"No such luck, boys. But they both look beautiful." I turn back towards the door, "Come on, you three! I want pictures of your grand entrance or whatever you want to call it!" Lynn comes flying down the stairs and says wildly,

"That crazy wench is trying to get me to 'touch-up on my make-up', whatever the Hell that means. I'm getting the Hell out of here. See you guys down there." She leaves before anyone can say anything except,

"Kay…" I shake my head and leave the boys to their waiting and glance over to see Sirius sitting on a couch, looking bored. Not that I can blame him. I absently wonder where his bottle blonde date is and take a seat opposite him, on the other side of the coffee table covered in Quidditch magazines, books, and Polaroids taken during 'homework time'. We sit there, neither one of us acknowledging the other when I realize something has been bothering me since he had stumbled into my house, bloody and broken at the end of last summer.

"Sirius?" He finally looks at me, and not at the wall to my far left, in vacant thought.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you wait so long to leave?" The look he gives me immediately makes me want to take that back. It was the look of absolute torment, "God, I shouldn't have asked that. Forget it, I'm just really nosy."

"No, it's fine. Someone should know, I guess. Well, you might find this hard to believe, but my brother's not a bad person." I raise an eyebrow. Regulus Black is famous for being a watered-down version of his older brother, but with a wicked streak of Dark Magic that his brother had missed, "Yeah, I know, _really _hard to believe, but I guess I thought I could convince him to come with me, you know, that I could take care of him, that he didn't need our parents. As you can see, it was pointless, because I showed up on your doorstep last summer alone, and not with Reg." I don't really know what to say to that and settle with,

"Sounds like you really care about him."

"I'm his older brother. When we were little he used to look to me to protect him, and when I was sorted into Gryffindor and he wasn't, I couldn't anymore. But I was supposed to. I just couldn't. He wouldn't let me."

"You don't know what he's hiding. He may be braver than you know. Time will tell just how much." Just then Lily comes down the stairs and James looks like someone has hit him over the head with something rather solid. I snap a picture of his face with a laugh and I glance over at the boy behind me and the conflicted older brother is gone and he's laughing and punching Jamie in the shoulder, just like any other time, like he isn't thinking about his brother in the very back of his mind,

"Good on you, Prongs. Good on you." I laugh and they all move out of the way as Carrie comes down. Remus looks like he might pass out and I take a picture of him too. Care's blushing and she sticks her tongue out at me because I make kissy faces at her as I take a picture of her. As they all couple off, that leaves me and Sirius and we just quietly walk down to the Great Hall behind Lily and James, watching them hold hands and laugh.

"How long until they get married?" I laugh and answer quietly,

"Eh, a year maybe." We are stopped halfway down. Well, I stop dead in my tracks: there's a girl leaning up against the wall in a skin tight red dress that rides up around her ass. No one else notices her, but I pull Lils, Care, and L, who showed up moments ago with her date, back with me. She makes eye contact with me and I say,

"Hayden?" I say and the beautiful brunette nods her head,

"Got that right, cuz. Hm, not going to introduce me to your friends?" So, I should explain about Hayden. She's my cousin on my mom's side, my mom was her dad's sister, and technically after my mom was killed I should have gone to live with her and her parents. She's three or so years older than me, but good God is she trouble.

Hayden Alexander is 20 years old, a brunette with big brown eyes, tattoos up and down her body, and everything I'm not. Curvy, pretty, and a bad girl since birth, she's pretty much Sirius Black in girl form. Except he has a soul, the bad boy act is just that with him: an act. But Hayden is rotten to the core, and there was no way I'm going to convince the drooling Black boy of that before he's trapped just like what I've watched her do to countless other boys.

"I don't really think that's a good idea, _cuz_. Don't you have somewhere to be? People's hearts to be eating?"

"But I missed my wittle cousin, Lela. Come on, the gut with the long beard told me I could stay for a while."

"Dumbledore told you that you could stay? Has he lost his mind?" she grins and I suspect I'm the only one that sees the wicked look in her eyes,

"Oh, come on, I'm not _that_ unlikeable Natalia." She flutters her long eyelashes and I roll my eyes,

"Oh yes you are. Do you remember that fungus that your dad had on his foot that we named Chad?"

"Yeah…"

"I liked Chad more than I like you, Hayden. So please walk your merry way back out of my life, and back to the States, where you can happily remain, from now until forever." Lily says,

"Nat, that's a little harsh." I snort,

"Oh no, it's not. Trust me. Remember that cousin I told you about in the States? The one that tried to _light me on_ _fire_ when we were 14? Well Hayden here decided she'd like to come visit me when I was living with Jamie and she tried to light me on fire while I slept." Lily raises an eyebrow and Jamie walks in, sees my demented cousin and slowly backs his way out the door he came in through. I can't blame him in the least, honestly, "Really Hay, you just scared James away. I wonder why?"

"Look cuz, you might not like me, but I'm going to be here for a while, so get used to me being here. And who are you?" I groan internally and Lily looks at me despairingly. Hayden has finally turned her sights to Sirius. The poor boy answers with slurred words, her presence making the boys in the room drunk. It was what she does.

"Er—Sirius. I mean…I'm Sirius." I roll my eyes and she smiles at him,

"Well it's very nice to meet you, honey." I fake gag and drag Lils, Care, and Lynn out of the room.

"That's your cousin, Nat?" I sigh and answer Carrie.

"Unfortunately. I don't know what happened to her. It was like when she turned 17, she just snapped. I suspected it was drugs for a while, but that doesn't seem to be right. No, and when I used to see her when we were kids and she was a lot like me. We were more like sisters than cousins and she had never been cruel up until she tried to light me up like a torch when I had been sleeping, next to poor James, who had unceremoniously kicked her out of the house, flat on her ass, the incantation halfway past her lips. That was how I figured out that she was magic too. Because she had tried to kill me in my sleep." Lils, Care, L, and I all stand there, looking at the door, waiting. None of us knew what we were waiting for, but we all knew that it wasn't going to be good.

Jamie walks up and says,

"You didn't tell me Hayden was in town, Nattie."

"I didn't know, James. I didn't know."

"Well that would certainly explain it. Wait—where's Sirius?" I look at him sadly, "She didn't—no. She can't. She _wouldn't._" The fire in Jamie's eyes calms and he sounds like a small child when he asks me, "Would she?" I take his hand and say,

"I don't know anymore, buddy. I just don't know."

"Guys." We all look up to see Hayden and Sirius walking out of the door, her hanging off his arm. This would be normal, but his eyes were different. They were empty and emotionless when they looked at me and the girls, but not just us, Jamie too. And that's not right. He loves James like a brother, and she had somehow turned off that emotion.

James looks at me and he gives me a look with a very clear meaning: she's going down.

We walk in, all very wary and I see Sirius with Hayden over with his family members and Regulus' friends. The younger Black boy raises an eyebrow at me when his brother's not looking. I roll my eyes and look away from his gloating look. _You may think I'm the bad guy sweetheart, but here I am trying to help you, Natalia._ I make no movement to acknowledge him _I'll tell you something though purely out of the goodness of my heart: Hayden Alexander may be your cousin, but she works for _my_ parents. _And with that happy thought, the Halloween Ball of 1976 begins.

**Oh, and I put a pic of her up, so check it out :)**

**Stars.**


	22. Trust No Black

**Disclaimer: not mine, yours, or anyone's except JKR's :(**

**Hey! So, many of you are probably wondering why i'm updating so much! Well, I'm home sick with the flu, so this is really the only good thing that has come out of constantly sneezing, snotting, and losing your appetite for about three days!**

**So this chapter's pretty short, but I kind of ran out of things to say in this particular chapter, but I like it, and I really like Nat not really knowing much about her family, and she's slowly putting it all together as we go, as you can all see.**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy,**

**Stars.**

For someone who was looking forward to the Ball so much, Lily is having a hard time smiling and laughing like everyone else. I know what's bothering her: it's what's bothering all of us. Jamie sits down next to me and asks,

"So what's the deal with her? Is she part veela or something?" I snort and shake my head, casually watching my cousin with Sirius, I don't make eye contact with Jamie when I speak; both of our eyes are trained on the 'couple'.

"Nah, Hayden's pretty enough, but she's no veela. What she is, well, it's much more evil, I suspect. When we were little we wandered into her basement when I was visiting her. In American homes, cellars, like what we have here are much less common, so when we wandered upon what we supposed was a wine cellar, of course we went in. it turns out that it _wasn't _a wine cellar or anything like that. It was a meeting room. I had no idea what it was of course, I didn't even know what magic was at this point, but I remember the symbol in the middle of the table like it was yesterday."

"No." He whispers, horrified, and I nod.

"Yeah. It was the Dark Mark. I suppose while Voldy was gathering up followers he was hiding them all out in the States, to make sure no one found them. I was creeped out and I left, being only seven or so, but Hayden was ten and ten year olds are much more adventurous than seven year olds and she remained down there. I didn't see her again until the next morning, and even then, she pretended it never happened. She was so convincing that I believed her, that it had been a dream, until the attacks started here, until I saw the Dark Mark over my house. I don't know what they told her or did to her, but whatever it was, it wasn't anything good." He nods,

"Your uncle was dabbling in the Dark Arts?" I nod,

"Yeah, and after seeing the same mark over my house the day my mom was killed, I knew that if I went to go live with them I'd die. You don't know this, but there was a legal battle over custody rights when I first moved in with you. Dorea and Charlie fought tooth and nail against Hayden's parents to keep me, claiming that I went to them and not my aunt and uncle for a reason and that I should stay in the same country I was raised in, and in retrospect, I suspect they knew who my family was and they just never told me so."

"I had no idea that someone else tried to adopt you when your mom died."

"I didn't want you too. No one else knows, you know. Just you, me, Hayden, and her parents. And it needs to stay that way, okay?" His eyes widen,

"Of course Nattie, no one will know, and if they find out, it won't be me who told them. I swear." I smile and hug him briefly.

"I suppose I should tell Moony and the girls too. They should probably know what she is."

"And what would that be, Nat? What is she exactly?" I take a deep breath,

"She's working for Walburga and Orion Black."

"…Sirius' parents? Are you sure?" I nod,

"According to his brother, she is. And I'm going to take that as a positive."

"Regulus?" he lowers his voice to a hiss, "_You talked to Regulus? Have you lost your mind?_" I shake my head,

"I don't really have a choice. He's a Legimens, and decided to pop that piece of info right into my head as we walked in."

"What did he say? Exactly, Nat. Don't you dare paraphrase on me." Lils comes up to us, ready to grab her date away, but at the look on my face she pauses and says,

"What's up?" Jamie looks at her sadly,

"Regulus Black decided he'd like to enlighten Nat as to why her cousins here. So _what_ did he say?" I think for a moment about the exact wording of the message and once I think I'm pretty close I say,

"'_You may think I'm the bad guy sweetheart, but here I am trying to help you._ _I'll tell you something purely out of the goodness of my heart though: Hayden Alexander may be_ your_ cousin, but she works for _my_ parents'. _Yeah, it's pretty bad."

"Are you sure he's telling the truth though? What if he's just using a situation to his advantage?" Lily, the ever-rational one asks, even though we can all see she's faking it. There was too much there, too much he knew.

"He knew her whole name, he knew she's my cousin, Lils. He's telling the truth. He has to be. And besides, what choice do we have on if we're going to believe him or not? We have no other reason behind her being here."

"So our hands are tried?" James says darkly.

"Pretty much." I sigh.

"How exactly are we going to make it through her little stay?" Lils asks no one in particular.

"Trust no Black, my friend. Not now, because it may just get you killed."


	23. The Twisted, The Bad, and The Wicked

**Disclaimer: yeah...**

**hey! So I had a really hard time with this chapter and I should have you guys all know that I have parts of the story that are going to be happening like 10 chapters from now written, so I'm doing my best to tie in what's going on now with what I already have written, so yeah... I had a really hard time with coming up for a reason for Hayden too, and my reasoning flip flopped about 9 times on her objective. **

**Yeah, it kind of sucked to write, but that's all going to change!**

**Anyways, I'm okay with how this turned out and I hope you guys agree with me!**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy,**

**Stars.**

All night I watch Sirius and my cousin dance around with the very people that the boy has spent that first 17 years of his life trying to dissociate himself from. It's hard, to say the least. He doesn't laugh, and he doesn't even pretend to look interested in what he's doing. Lils touches me on the shoulder,

"I'm going to leave. Maybe head for the library and see what I can dig up. Stay with James, won't you? He's taking this pretty hard." She gestures to where her date is sitting two seats down from me, sullenly watching his best friend. I nod and she leaves.

"Jamie, we're going to figure this out, and we're going to fix it, you know that right? I'm not going to let her hurt him. And if you think Care, L, Lils, and Remus are going to let anything happen to him, you're crazy. No one wants to see him get hurt."

"Would you kill her? Would you kill Hayden if it came down to it?" He asks suddenly, and I know what the real question is: are we more important than your family? I answer him quietly.

"Yes. Hayden means nothing to me. Not anymore. If she means to drag him back to his family, I _will _kill her before she gets close." He nods and says,

"Where did Lily go? Am I really being _so_ boring?" I shake my head and take his hand,

"She went to the Library, to see what she can find on _that_." I gesture to Sirius and Hayden with my hand, pulling a face as I do so. He smiles and says,

"Well, we should probably go help her. I'll go tell Moony where we're going." I smile at him as he goes to inform everyone's favorite werewolf of our departure. No more than a moment after he leaves, it's apparently open season on my brain.

_So what are you lot going to do about her?_ I raise an eyebrow to no one. **Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to enter people's minds uninvited, Regulus? **I ask him mentally._Yes, of course, but that doesn't mean I have to listen. So, what are you going to do about…_that_? _ The last word has a distasteful tone about it, like the boy had swallowed something really sour and equally disgusting. **I'm not quite sure yet. Do you know what she's done to him? A spell? A potion? Anything at all?**_ How do you know he's not acting of his free will? _**Because the version of your brother I know wouldn't be over next to you. He'd be spiking the punch with James.** _You know him better than I thought. I don't know what she did, but I'll do my best to figure it out. _**Why are you helping us? **_Because he's my brother and I care about him, no matter how much I shouldn't, love's dangerous Holmes, it can get you killed, but he's family, no matter how much my parents deny it._** But then why did they send her to do this? **_Maybe they want their heir back._

And with that, someone taps Regulus on the shoulder and his mind disappears and I see James walking back to me, a still sullen look on his face.

"Ready to go, Nattie?" I nod and as we walk down the hallway to the library I say,

"Regulus Black is on our side."

"Funny."

"No, I'm serious. He said he'd try to figure out what she did, and what his parents want with Sirius. We're in no place to say no to help, Jamie."

"Why would he do that?"

"He said that he's his brother and he loves him, no matter how much he shouldn't. He thinks that Walburga and Orion want their heir back for some reason. I believe him. He didn't sound like he was lying, and it was all mental, so it _should _be easier to tell if someone's bluffing, shouldn't it?"

"I suppose you're right. I still don't trust him though."

"I don't either, but I don't think that seeing what he digs up will hurt anyone." We both drop our voices as we enter the Library and see that there's a lone light glowing at a table in the back of the library. Lily. We follow the light to see the beautiful redhead still in her dress, with books sprawled out in front of her. I take one look at her and smile. I whisper to Jamie,

"I'm going to check the restricted section. Give her a hand, it looks like she might need it." I slip through the gates to the restricted section with a practiced ease and start looking. I pause at a book titled 'Wicked Spells and Incantations for The Wicked Witch or Wizard'. I pull it off the shelf and tap the spine with my wand to keep the book from screaming when I open it. I flip to a random page and come face to face with a drawing of a mutilated woman, bleeding into a goblet. I shutter and flip the page. Horrible picture after horrible spell goes by and I wonder who wrote this god-awful book. I turn back to the cover and the book slides out of my hands with a loud 'thud'. I don't move to retrieve it.

"Nat? Are you okay?" I hear Jamie say, but I don't answer. I hear the gate creak as he tries to find me. I' not sure how long it takes him to find me, standing there in the Restricted Section, the book my father wrote on the floor at my feet, "Nattie? What's this?" He picks it up and I see him mouth the title. His eyebrows shoot up at the author's name, "Gregg Holmes? Nat, it says your dad write this. That's crazy. Absolutely nuts. He was an Auror, not a dark wizard. We would know. Someone would have told you. You'd know." I sit down on the floor heavily.

"Jamie, what if your parents do know? What if they know and haven't told either of us on purpose? Oh my God, I'm just like Sirius: a Pureblood with a Dark family. Now we really have to do something about Hayden." James' eyes light up.

"Maybe _that's _why she here. Maybe they want you to find this. They don't want Sirius back, they want _you._ They want to shake your confidence, and this was the best way to do that they can think of. I'd be willing to bet anything the spell is in here somewhere." He grabs the book and drags me back out of the Restricted Section by the arm, calling for Lily. She meets us at the gate and looks at me curiously.

"What's wrong? Nat?" Jamie hands her the book and sits me down at the table they've been using.

"Her dad wrote this. I'm pretty sure they're trying to screw with her. They saw her at Alphard's funeral and know she's close to Padfoot. They want to break her, and this is how they chose to do it. With a spell from a Dark book her dad wrote." Lils nods and grabs the book and shoves it in her bag.

"We take turns looking through it. There are 6 of us, so we each take a shift, a night a week, and someone will take two. I have a good feeling of what I'm looking for, so I'll do the double. But other than that, it stays in your room, James and no one talks about it. After we break this damn spell, we put it back and never go looking for it again. Deal?"

The two of us nod at her and we pack up and leave the Library, the Halloween Ball drawing to a close.

**AN: PLOT TWIST- NAT'S DAD'S A PSYCHO! What made him change his ways? Who knows? Seriously, I have no idea.**

**Stars.**


	24. 1017 and 1105

**Disclaimer: okay, so it's not mine. Go ahead and make me cry.**

**Hey! So this is emotional mess central, and we FINALLY figure out what the Hell is wrong with Sirius (I made it up)! YAY! So anyways, as we progress here, tragedy is right around the corner, so start to look for signs of what's to come and poor Sirius' symptoms of the curse.**

**I hope you guys like this one as much as I do!**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy,**

**Stars.**

It takes us a week. A single week to find the spell, a day of ditched classes and an all-nighter each. In the end it _is _Lily who finds it, hidden in the middle of the pages, next to a picture of someone's soul being severed from its body. It's Friday and we're all in class, and I am sitting next to Jamie in the seat Lils should be occupying in Alchemy, but she was up all last night looking for the spell, and is sleeping the day away in her dorm as a result of her efforts.

Sirius sits alone in the back of the room. He has become friendless within the past week, except for Hayden. Regulus hasn't tried to contact me, or anyone else since the Ball and I feel like bursting into tears most of the time. Our alchemy teacher is pretty gullible so when I see Lils' face at the door, I claim a sour stomach and leave the room with James, who was charged with escorting me to the Hospital Wing. She's on us as soon as Jamie closes the door.

"Lils, wha—" I say but she cuts me off with a frenzied look on her face.

"I found it. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and was flipping through the book and I found it! Come on, I'll show you!" we follow her to the Dorm and I exchange a look with Jamie. Could we really be so lucky? Once we're all seated in Jamie's room, she pulls the book out and turns to page 1017. Yep, the damn book is over 1,000 pages long. She turns it to face us and I read out loud,

"The Interiotis Curse. When preformed correctly, the caster will completely remove, and can choose to destroy part of the target person or animal's soul. The curse is extremely difficult to manage, and only the most gifted witches and wizards have been able to successfully cast it, and even fewer have successfully cast the countercurse. Signs of the curse include detachment from loved ones, sudden uncontrollable rage, fast mood swings, and headaches have been reported in those that have had the curse partially take effect. Unless the part of the soul has been destroyed, it must be kept in a container that cannot allow the wispy substance to escape, or it will rejoin its body within minutes." I look at her in horror; "You're telling me that my cousin sucked a part of Sirius' _soul_ out of him?" she nods at me,

"That's not all. Look at the page number." I look at the page number. 1017.

"So she picked a spell on 1017." She raises an eyebrow,

"10-17? What does that mean to you?" I feel my stomach drop out down to somewhere around my feet. October 17th, the day my mother was killed, was the page number of the spell.

"Are you sure it's not just an coincidence?" I hear Jamie ask her and I know the answer, and reply,

"She could have chosen any spell in this book, but she choose this page. There are no coincidences with Hayden, or anyone in my family, for that matter. She picked it on purpose. She wanted me to know that she picked this spell with me in mind." James looks hopeful for the first time in months,

"But there's a countercurse. We can break it. It says so right here." Lily looks at the pages and answers,

"But it says that only a few witches or wizards have ever successfully preformed it. I think we need to get Dumbledore involved, guys." Jamie and I both shake our heads,

"No, no Dumbledore. We can do it. Lils, you can do it, or I can, or Jamie, or Care, or L, or Remus. One of us can do it. I'm sure. We can't get Dumbledore involved, that much I'm sure of. Besides we don't even know what the countercurse _is, _let alone if we can perform it. That has to be our next step." Lils grins.

"I'm a step ahead of you girlie." She hands me another book 'Spells and Enchantments for a Witch or Wizard Who Needs to Break A Spell in A Pinch'. The literalness of magic books still makes me chuckle occasionally. She grins and says,

"Turn to page 1105." I snort and Jamie rolls his eyes,

"Seriously? Who wrote this one? Your mom?" I check the cover and laugh and say,

"Nah, some guy named…Charlus no last name. Oh you've got to be kidding me." Lils looks confused,

"What's so crazy?" I quietly answer,

"November 5th was the day I made it to the Potter's after my mom was killed. Jamie's parents are named Dorea and Charlus. James, your dad wrote the book with the countercurse in it. And put it on the page with the date I showed up on your doorstep. Still think it's a coincidence Jamie?" I turn to page 1105 and am shocked to see that there's a folded sheet of parchment slipped between the pages. It's addressed to me and Jamie. I open it and we both read as Lily watches on with burningly curious eyes,

_Natalia and James,_

_If you are reading this, you have discovered Gregg's book and you are searching for answers. I want to say that I am so incredibly sorry that I withheld your father's identity from you Natalia, but know I had a reason for it. You come from a long line of Dark wizards, and your father was no exception, but if you make your way to the publication date of the book, you will see that it was written long before you ere born, and long before he met your mother, yes, Tara changed everything. _

_She changed him, so completely. Dorea and your mother were friends in school, and when she met Gregg, she didn't care that he was so dark that people used to say he didn't _have_ a soul, but she proved them wrong, they fell in love so deeply and quickly that no one knew what was going on, until they were already married. You are most likely hurt, and scared, and upset that what you've seen of your father is the makings of a monster, but know that when he was killed, he was a good man, and don't let anything you find in newspaper clippings and on the lips of people with outdated information change that. He loved you and your mother so much, too much for words._

_James, I now speak to you, you believe in coincidences, which is a grave mistake Son. There are no coincidences in this war, and you best remember that, if you want to keep the ones you love safe. I don't know when, or even if, you will find this, but if you do, and we are both gone, know that we love you both, and care very much for you. And know that where ever you go and what ever you do, that we are behind you. The secret to living is not to live forever, but to live with the choices you make. The secret is to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not be ashamed. Be the wonderful children we raised you as and remain strong, brave, and above all, true to yourselves and to the people you love in the battle to come._

_The road ahead of you both is long and hard, but if you stick together and watch each other's backs, we know you'll both make it through okay. And keep an eye on Sirius, he needs someone to love him unconditionally in the way his family never could, and if one or both of you could, it would mean the world to us both. _

_Love,_

_Mom and Dad_

We both look at each other in confusion.

"The way they were talking, it's like they're…gone." I say and he nods and says,

"That's ridiculous, we'll see them when we go on Holiday in December. Mom and Dad are fine Nattie. And they're going to stay that way." I nod and he hands the letter to me, "You should keep this. I think you need it more than I do." I accept the letter and place it in my bag, which is still slung over my shoulder. James looks at us and says,

"Next step: where the Hell is the missing part of his soul?" I smirk and think: **Oi! Black! Are you any good at scavenger hunts? **_Holmes? Why aren't you in class? And I guess I am, why? _**You wanna help your brother, we need you to find something. Like as soon as possible. **_And what would that be? _**Part of his soul. **_Can I just go back to History of Magic and pretend this never happened? _**No, and besides this is **_**way**_** more interesting than Binns. **_Damn._


	25. The Boy With The Broken Mind

**Disclaimer: if it was mine, I'd be rich. But I'm not.**

**Hey! So SUPER long chapter, and a very sad one, for our poor characters. :(**

**And we FINALLY figure out what's going on with our favorite Black, but it's kind of like baptism by fire. Out of the frying pan and into the fire and all that jazz. Yeah, well anyways, here you go!**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy,**

**Stars.**

We're all in class, and it's a Wednesday. A week has passed and Regulus hasn't had any luck finding this illusive part of his brother's soul. We're in Transfiguration and I'm sitting next to Lils, as per usual. A boring Wednesday that everyone wants to be over, so we can all go relax and get out of our school uniforms.

In a stunning change of events, someone knocks on the door to the classroom. McGonagall looks worried, and goes to answer the door. I hear her say,

"Oh no, not any more, yes, come in and take who you need." Everyone in the class holds their breath. We all know who it is: Aurors, here to tell someone that their parents are dead. I exchange a look with Jamie and he forces a smile at me and mouths 'everything's alright'. The man comes in, and then another, and another. Three Aurors. There's usually only one, maybe two if the family had worked for the Ministry, but three…the people killed were Aurors. They had to have been.

"I'm looking for the Potter children." James winces like someone has beat him and Lily grabs my hand on top of our desk.

"You must have the wrong people, I'm an only child." The man lifts up a sheet of paper,

"Not according to this. We're looking for a James, a Natalia, and a Sirius. If you three would please come with us." I go to grab my stuff, but Lils grabs my hand,

"I'll get it. Leave yours too Potter. We'll take care of it. Go. And don't forget Black." Sirius is standing by the door, with an air of someone who would rather be planning to go kick kittens or something.

Jamie puts an arm around me and we follow the Aurors out, into Dumbledore's office. I stand in the middle of the two boys, and the Aurors turned to face us. Jamie has his arms around me, and his chin on top of my head, and Sirius is just standing there, not feeling much, as usual.

"There was an attack yesterday night, on Godric's Hollow. Your house was not attacked, but your parents; they were both Gryffindors, brave and selfless. They ran down to help fight the Death Eaters, and I'm very sorry to say, but—" he's broken off by a glass contraption shattering into splinters to his left. James looks at me and I mutter,

"Sorry." The man continues, looking rather glad he has two other people with him,

"I'm very sorry to be the bringer of tragedy, but there were four deaths in the raid last night, and your parents were two of them." No one says anything for a long moment. Then finally someone breaks the silence.

"You must have made a mistake. They're not gone. They can't be. They can't be gone. It's not allowed. We're not supposed to be burying our parents at 17 and 18." I hear Jamie say this, and I agree. But I would be a hypocrite if I said that being an orphan was something that was unfamiliar to me. It's all I've ever been: that girl with the dead parents.

"You're lying. You have to be." I say. I have to believe it. They weren't allowed to be gone.

"Padfoot, take her back to the dorm. I'll take care of anything that needs to be done here." I'm not in control of my body. It's like someone else is operating it. I feel myself shake my head as Sirius pulls me out of the room.

"Come on, Holmes. Let's go. You don't need to see this." He pulls me out of the room easily as I stop putting up a fight against him, seeing the wisdom in leaving with him. We walk out of the Head's Dorm and Lils is there, waiting.

"Nat! What happened? Is everyone okay?" I shake my head.

"They're dead Lils. Dorea and Charlie are dead." Her eyes widen,

"Oh sweetie. Get off her Black. She's _my _ best friend and I'll take care of her, like I always do when she can't fend for herself."

"Evans, she needs someone who understands. Someone who's lost them too. so get your ginger mitts off this emotional moment." She looks at me with an inquisitive look. Why was he acting normal? Why was he pretending that his soul was still intact? I'm asking myself the same questions silently. But then I remember Regulus saying that he's been complaining of headaches.

"Headaches are a symptom if the spell is preformed incorrectly." They both turn to look at me and Lils' eyes widen and Sirius just looks confused. I really need to work on not saying things out loud. Honestly, could I be any more transparent? Lily turns suddenly to Sirius,

"Who's your best friend?" He looks confused for a second and his expression clouds over and I swear he's going to say Mulciber or someone just as repulsive, then it clears and he mutters, mostly to himself,

"I...can't remember. It should be Regulus, but I keep thinking it's James Potter." I feel like crying, and going to hug my cousin for being inept, simultaneously. She hadn't taken part of his soul after all. She had preformed the spell wrong and had only turned off part of it. Thank God for her lack of talent. Ah, there are somethings that can't be fixed, even by Voldemort. Lily gives me a look that says 'are we really getting off this easy?' and I smile and return a look that says 'hopefully'.

He puts his hands over his head.

"Everything is so bright. Why is everything so bright?" I exchange a look with Lils worriedly. This wasn't good, "things are mixed up. One minute I'm sitting at home, alongside my brother, and the next I'm in the Gryffindor Common Room, playing Exploding Snap with James. It's all in my head." He looks at me and says with the voice of a small child, "Make it stop. Please, it hurts." I look at Lils and say,

"We need to get him to the Hospital Wing. If the memories are starting to resurface, maybe Madam Pomfrey can give him something to help him tell which ones are real." She nods and I turn to him,

"Sirius? We're going to go somewhere and help you figure out what's going on, okay?" He nods and I take him by the arm and gently pull him towards the Hospital Wing. He follows without much protest and once we get there, the memories all start to jumble again in his head,

"You know me. Right?" I nod and respond,

"You bet I do. You even live with me, James, and...well you live with us, at Potter Manor."

"So you know where I live?"

"You ran away from Grimmauld Place before you turned 16 last summer, just before Sixth Year. You were disowned and blasted off the Family Tree. You've lived with us ever since."

"I don't live with my parents anymore?" I shake my head,

"No, you don't."

"How did I get to your house? I don't remember any of this. I should live with my parents, but it feels wrong. I believe you though. For right now at least." I notice that Lily is walking behind us, watching, quietly.

"You...well, I don't really know _how_ you got to the house, but you knocked on the door, and I answered it, completely unsuspecting, and you fell right on top of me, because you had been leaning on the door. You were really hurt. When you woke up, almost a day later, you told me that it had been your mom. She had done it. I never told James, he was taking a shower when you woke up, and we never spoke about it again." As I finish my story, we enter the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey looks up and Lils nods at her. I turn back to Sirius, who in the past twenty minutes has somehow reverted back to being a small child, "Sirius? I need to talk with the nurse, so can you stay with Lily?" Lils smiles at him warmly and he nods. I quietly walk up to the Matron.

"What's the matter dear?" The Marauders aren't infrequent customers at the Hospital Wing, but I am. So when I'm here, with the Head Girl, no less, it draws attention.

"Well, my cousin, Hayden, she's been staying here for a little while, and she's no good. She's wicked and mean and cruel and she showed up right before the Halloween Ball. We suspected that she cursed him because of his strange behavior. Detachment, headaches that I've heard him complaining about in the hallways, he didn't even know James was his best friend. Up until about twenty minutes ago, he became confused and said everything was bright and he didn't know what was real and what wasn't. I think that the...deaths of our parents jarred him." She puts a hand over her mouth,

"Dorea and Charlus? They're...dead?" I nod and she hugs me tightly as I fight back tears. Now's not the time. Later, but there's a confused boy that needs immediate attention, "They were good people, Natalia, and they were very proud of all three of you. Never forget that. It sounds as if your friend here is under a dark spell that was done incorrectly. You say you think that it was your cousin to do this?" I nod, "That doesn't surprise me, you're a sweet girl, darling, but you come from a rotten tree, like Mr. Black over there." We walk back over to where Lily and Sirius are waiting, .You should know, that while they recuperate, people that have been victims to these kinds of spell often latch onto a single person that they feel knows them." I smile,

"That'll probably be James. He'll be thrilled." She smiles a little and says,

"Dearie, I don't think it's Mr. Potter. I think you might be in for the long haul." Lily snickers and I groan.

"Great. Just something else to be excited for. Is there anything you can give him to help him differentiate the fake memories from the real ones?" I ask suddenly. I knew him, and knew a surprising bit about his life, but I hadn't been there for all of it, and no one's childhood should be a jumble of mixed up memories.

"I do, but it can only be administered after the spell has been broken for a few days, so it looks like he'll be here for a while. You two should head back to your Dorms. It _is_ a school night, after all." We both try to quickly leave but I'm in no such luck. I make it half way to the door and I pause. My cousin, my fault. Damn. I turn back and look at the poor boy, so confused and upset and I sigh.

"Lils..." She smiles.

"I figured. I'll talk to McGonagall about extenuating circumstances, Nat. Sit tight, and I'll catch the boys up to speed, okay?" I nod and sit back down next to the bed that the Matron had put Sirius into.

"We're going to fix it. The memories, they'll stop soon, and you'll know what's real and what isn't, okay?" He nods and Madam Pomfrey hands him a vial.

"Dreamless sleep potion, dearie, it'll keep the memories away while you sleep, which is something you desperately need, if I'm not mistaken." He looks at me, and I nod, at which he takes the glass and downs it with the wrinkled nose. The Madam hustles off to do something else and I hear him say,

"Nat? Will you stay? Keep the memories away while I sleep?" I have no choice, and even if I did, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't take it,

"Of course I will. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?" The potion is setting in and he's slipping into unconsciousness.

"Promise." He falls to sleep and I realize what I've done: I just promised to be there for Sirius Black. The fact that I had promised to be there for someone that needed it didn't scare me much, I'm used to Jamie needing out of a tight spot every now and then, but the fact that I really meant it, and how much this hurt to watch, now that scared me out of my mind.

With nothing else to do, I curl up in my chair and watch the boy with the broken mind sleep.


	26. You Can't Kill a Girl Who's Already Dead

**Disclaimer: I'm neither British or named Jo, so sorry, but it's not mine.**

**Sorry for the wait, guys! Okay, it wasn't TOO bad. Not like that one time where I was updating EVERY DAY then waited almost THREE MONTHS to release the last chapter of Afraid of Greatness. No, it wasn't that bad. Only a couple weeks. This one's kind of a filler, but the bet is coming back to haunt everyone... DUN DUN DUNNN. Whoops, way to go Nat, Care, L, and Lils, screwing over my happy love story, but that's okay, it wouldn't be interesting if it were easy, quite like people, don't you think?**

**ANYWAYS, I won't keep you guys any long than I already have,**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy,**

**Stars.**

"Nat. Nattie. McGonagall, Yin, and Lily are here. Wake up. Come on." I feel someone shake my shoulder and I look around the Hospital Wing, confused. Then I remember. Sirius. The spell. My promise. Shit.

"Jamie? Wha—what time is it?" It's dark out and I never made the conscious decision to fall asleep. Whoops.

"About three in the morning. We all snuck out. Professor McGonagall wanted to have you moved, but Dumbledore told her that you were needed here more than you should be in your dorm." He gestures down to his still slumbering best friend, "How is he?" I sigh,

"Confused. He keeps saying that everything's bright and there are things that _should_ be and things that he _feels_. On our way here he kept saying that he can remember playing Snap with us but also sitting with his brother at Grimmauld. I think the problem is that he's remembering both and not just one set of memories. Dumbledore and McGonagall were here?" He nods as we walks to the door of the Hospital Wing and makes a hand gesture out the door.

"Yeah, Dumbledore broke the spell, said that a spell like that, it leaves an imprint of the caster on the mind. Once Sirius wakes up, Dumbledore will be able to tell who did it."

"But we already know who did it, right?" he nods again and the girls come out from under the Invisibility Cloak. Lily responds with a smile,

"Yeah, so we told him that, but he said that without proof, our claims are pretty worthless, so we have to wait." Lils tosses me a bag of clothes and says, "You may want to change. School uniforms are kind of uncomfortable." I grin and say,

"Yeah, sleeping in a skirt is not the most enjoyable thing ever." Just then Remus comes in and grins at me, for once in his life showing the Marauder side of his personality,

"So, Nat. I hear our boy here has latched onto you. Pomfrey's term, not mine." I roll my eyes and flip him the bird, with a smile pulling at my lips all the while.

"I didn't ask for it to happen, and neither did he, so cut it out, won't you, Remus?" he snorts and shakes his head, but says nothing at the snap. I get up and Care hooks an arm through one of mine and L through the other.

"C'mon Nat, let's go stretch your legs." I glance at Lily and she smirks a little but nods at my silent request.

"Guys, we should stay in the Hospital Wing. If Filch hears people talking he won't come looking in here, but in the hallways he most definitely will. Nat can stretch her legs to the other end of the Wing and back." We all walk down to the end nearest the door, giving Jamie and Remus some time to sit with their friend, even though he's asleep, and if he was awake, he'd probably be asking who they were, or if they were his friends or not.

But I realize: that doesn't matter to them, no more than Remus' condition does. Because no matter how much he changes, Sirius will _always _be their brother, come hell or high water, they are family. I crack my back and lean up against the wall. Lynn grins at me.

"So Lils tells us that you are on Black duty until further notice. Not that you mind, just going by the generally red appearance of your face." I cough and duck my head,

"Well…"

"Oh good God help us. Nat, if you're gonna jump him, do it after we graduate, so we don't have to tell them about you-know-what." Care says and I stop and remember the bet that had completely slipped my mind in light of recent, upsetting, events.

"Yeah, well, I'll do my best. I don't really think he'd take it well if he found out that I've been publically smashing him for the past, oh year or so." Lils smirks and says,

"Yeah, probably not." We all laugh lightly, but my smile fades pretty quickly, faster than it should.

"Guys." Remus says at the opposite end of the Wing. We all look up and Jamie motions us over. We all hurry, and it appears that Sirius has woken up in the brief moment I wasn't sitting there. Typical. Jamie, Remus, Lils, L, and Care all slowly back out of the Wing, Jamie giving me a quick wink on the way by.

"We were never here." I smile and nod, turning my attention back to Sirius, as my family leaves. Sirius appears to be barely awake, but becoming more alert by the second,

"Nat?" I smile,

"Hi, have a good nap?"

"Mhm, what time is it?"

"About quarter past three in the morning. You got some major sleep." He nods and I can't help but ask, "How do you feel?" He smiles a little,

"Better than I did. I still don't really remember much. It's like someone went into my head and took all of my memories, drew on them, and tossed them around. Are you going to be able to fix it?" I say nothing of the spell, not knowing how much he'd believe, and instead say,

"There's a way, a potion, but you'll have to wait a couple days before you can take it. Until then, I hope you keep a journal." He shakes his head,

"I don't think so. What can you tell me about me? The basics?" I nod,

"You, Sirius Orion Black, were born April 26, 1960, so you're 17 years old. You lived with your family, who you hate, except for your brother, who you feel like you failed because you think you couldn't protect him, your cousin Andromeda, who's pretty great, and expecting a baby by the way, and your Uncle Alphard, who passed away at the beginning of the school year this year. You now live at Potter Manor with me and James, who is my adoptive brother, and up until about two days ago, our parents too, but they…" I trail off, my eyes filling with tears,

"What happened? Nat? Can you tell me?"

"They were killed in a raid of Godric's Hollow, two nights ago. Their names were Dorea and Charlus, who went by Charlie. They were wonderful people, and they treated the both of us as if we were born to them, instead of our own parents. Up until about a month ago, we hated each other, but one night, you found me crying into a tub of ice cream and forced me to talk about it. We've been at least civil ever since."

"Oh. That's when everything got all weird. I was in Dumbledore's office and then they were all talking and yelling and crying and everything became confused. James Potter said to take you to the dorm and I did, but Lily Evans was there and I knew I _should_ hate her, but I was just fondly irritated with her. Then she asked me who my best friend was, and I didn't know. That's when I started to look through all my memories and they were all confused, full of conflicting stories, like someone had tried to replace them but had done it wrong." _Close. _I think to myself slyly, "It's just so confusing."

"You need to get some rest, try to pass the time until you can take the potion. You need sleep. It's a strong potion that takes a physical toll. Go to sleep."

"You'll be here?" I force myself to smile,

"As long as you want me here." He nods and closes his eyes. Minutes go by and just as he drifts off I swear I hear him mutter something about Death Eaters.

Sirius Black may be able to sleep with the idea of Death Eaters in his head, but Natalia Holmes can't. I stay awake, imagining them watching on, looking at my cousin's poor handiwork, and thinking about how she'll be punished for her stupidity, in the very near future. If James doesn't get to her first.

The Death Eaters won't be able to do shit to her if Jamie beats them to her. You can't kill someone who's already dead, after all.


	27. The Chapter That Never Was

HEYY! So, I now have a tumblr to go with this fic, and it's you- have- been- blacklisted. Tumblr. Com (just take out the spaces!)

This is the place to go if you want sneak peaks, the inner ramblings of my mind, and of course, the music that is my internal soundtrack for this story! And any pics that make me think of Nat, Sirius, Lils, Jamie, or any of the gang. So follow me, check it out, and I'll always have the link on my profile.

Love,

Stars.


	28. Control Yourself

**Disclaimer: sadly, not mine :(**

**Hey! So it's been a while, and don't expect to see much from me for a while either because as I'm sure all of you people in the Northern Hemisphere are beginning to start to suffer exam prep with me! Yeah, I'm being bad right now and not really studying, but that is SO much more fun!**

**Have fun, and we get a visit from our favorite ghost (kind of)!**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy,**

**Stars.**

Days pass in this way. Sirius falls asleep, then I do, then we both wake up, I tell him everything I know about him, and the cycle repeats, with irregular interruptions from our friends.

"Nat?"

"Hm?" I glance up from the homework I was doing. I may be off the hook from classes until Sirius is up and around again, but on the condition that I turn my homework in on time, sent via Lily.

"Can you tell me about you?" I look up at him, surprised.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"You told me I found you crying into a tub of ice cream…what—?" I smile a little and nod.

"Does the date October 17th mean anything to you?" He hesitates, thinking, and I swear he knows the answer, and then he shakes his head, "Well, it was October 17th the day that happened, the day my mother was killed, eight years ago. Do you remember the story or do you want to hear it again?" he shakes his head and I get the point, "Well, when I was nine, I was walking home from school, and saw the Dark Mark over my house. I assume you remember that particular object?" I ask dryly. He nods and I sigh to myself. _Figures his parents would leave that in there._ "At that point, I didn't know I was magic, but I knew of it, my mom, well, she never got to tell me that not all magic people are good. I walked into the house, and my mom was there, with a man. Your cousin, Pollux. Third cousin, I believe. He killed her, and in a little, not so little blast of accidental magic, I killed everything within a half-mile radius, and pretty much blasted the house to bits. Luckily all the neighbors were at work and school, so no one was killed except for your cousin and a couple of rabbits."

"So that's why you were crying into the ice cream?" I nod, and then I continue the story, into something that I've never told anyone. Not even Jamie.

"I still happens, you know. The magic, I mean. I don't know why, I've tried looking for an answer, but I can't find one. Like in Dumbledore's office when they were telling us about Dorea and Charlie, that glass thing that broke, that was me who did it. I didn't mean to, but it just _happens_. And it scares me so much sometimes, that I've never actually been able to work up the courage to tell anyone." I finally admit at the end, "I think Jamie's guessed though, but even if he suspects, he's never asked me."

"And how did I react to this?" I hesitate, weighing my options.

"You told me a story, about a boy who brought the cutlery to life on his parents." I say nothing more and he nods,

"Ah. Well, you probably figured out that it was a little more than a story." I nod,

"I guessed as much the first time around." Just then, the Hospital Wing Matron comes in, carrying a tube of smoking liquid.

"Well, Mr. Black, here you go, one potion to sort out what's in that head of yours." She hands it to him and he looks at and I think for a moment that he's not going to take it and that I'm going to have to shove it down his throat. But he takes a breath and downs it in a single gulp. Then the vial slides from between his fingers and no one moves to catch it. Mainly because at that exact moment, Hayden bursts into the Hospital Wing, her face red, her wand out, and one of Sirius' relatives at her side. And it's not just any relative: it's Bellatrix Black.

"What are you doing to him?!" My cousin screams at the Matron, her wand now trained on Madam Pomfrey. She glances at me and there's a very clear message on her face: run and go get help. Now. I see her grip her wand and before anyone realizes what's happening, I run through the doors that my silly cousin had left open. I head straight for my brother's class, which thank God, was Transfiguration. I open the door to McGonagall's room with a loud bang. Everyone looks at me and I look straight at Jamie, where he's sitting next to Lils.

"Hayden. Bellatrix. Hospital Wing. Now." Jamie, Remus, Lils, Care, and Lynn all get up and leave, despite the Head of House's protests. We all run back and it seems as if Madam Pomfrey had just been knocked unconscious by Bellatrix, who was now attempting to pacify her still confused cousin.

"Bella—what's going on?"

"They've been keeping you here. You need to come with us, where you'll be safe." Jamie whispers in my ear,

"Do something. Now." Hayden looks up and I see her hands are starting to shake. She's scared. And she has every right to be. The spell has been broken and this was her last attempt to fix things. She hadn't been planning on me being here. She had only wanted to take out the Matron and take their newest recruit with them. Madam Pomfrey is hardly a threat. But L, Care, Lils, Jamie, and Remus are powerful fighters. And me? Well, I live in denial, but I know deep down that I'm in my own category. And they weren't expecting a fight this big.

Just then, every window in the Wing blows in, and the glass shards aim for my cousin. They don't head for Bellatrix. My magic must have decided that she was too close to Sirius to try to hurt. A clear shot isn't possible right now. My friends take advantage of it and Lily and James take down Hayden physically, and I realize that none of them have their wands. Remus and Care help them and Lynn whispers in my ear,

"God I hope you just did that on purpose. Control yourself, girl, and _take her down_." She helps Lils back to her feet and I see that my best friend is sporting a bloody nose and a huge grin. Bellatrix throws her cousin back down on the bed and he appears to be going in and out because of the potion. She faces me and I can see her Aunt and Uncle have told her about the fact I killed one of her family members. On accident.

"You're going to try to fight me _without a wand_? Why don't you just throw yourself onto a knife and be done with it already?" she throws a hex at me as she speaks and I remember what L had said, _control yourself_. I watch it come towards me and then the jet of light stops, and then it vanishes. She gasps, "That's impossible. No one can do that. No one." She keeps throwing spells at me, and as she does it, I can feel more and more control over my magic, and soon her own spells are flying back at her. And then as she goes, my aim gets better and they're flying back at her directly and not just where ever they rebound to.

The Hospital Wing door fly open again and Dumbledore steps into my peripheral vision. I can only imagine what he's seeing. Windows blown in, one of his staff members unconscious on the glass-covered floor, a student that has no idea where he is on a hospital bed, a group of students with a Death Eater hog tied in the corner, one of which has a bloody nose, and I'm pretty sure James' face was clawed by Hayden in her escape attempts, and in the middle of it all me dueling Bellatrix Black without a wand. A jet of light sails from his direction and I step back and allow him to take over. I motion Jamie over and my suspicions are proved correct that he was clawed. Three gashes run from the left side of his jaw, over his eyelid, and up into his hairline on the opposite side of his face.

"Is your eye okay?" I ask quietly and he nods.

Together, we move Sirius off the bed and out into the corridor, where there was a crowd accumulating. News spread fast in this school, and the news that a girl that hadn't been seen in over a week (because I have been hiding in the Hospital Wing) had burst into McGonagall's room blabbering about the Hospital Wing and Death Eaters would spread like wildfire on a dry day. Jamie scowls at all of the people outside the wing.

"See anything interesting? Didn't think so. Move along people!" after they all disperse, James yells, "Peeves!" the Poltergeist shows up out of nowhere moments later.

I should probably explain. Peeves and the Marauders have a very deep respect for each other's work, and there have even been occasions (unknown to the staff, of course) where they have teamed up in the battle against Filtch. As a result, they help each other out every now and again, and if the Marauders ever truly need anything, Peeves will help, and as James Potter's little sister, this courtesy is extended to me.

"You called?" he says,

"We need help, please." James says politely.

"How can Peeves help and aid the Marauders in any mischief making today?" I answer.

"No trouble today. We need real help." James continues after I speak,

"Sirius is hurt, and I need to get him and Natalia to my Dorm. Can you carry him? She isn't strong enough, but you are. She'll walk with you, and let you in the dorm. Please." He begs and the Poltergeist agrees in the condition that James help him in his never-ending war against Filtch. James whole-heartedly agrees and I depart from the scene with Sirius being carried by Peeves. You can only imagine the stares we get.

Once we reach the Heads' Dorm, I say the password low enough so Peeves can't hear it, and let him in,

"Where would you like him, Miss Holmes?" I answer politely,

"On the couch is fine." He sets the boy down and I say,

"Thank you Peeves."

"Just don't tell the staff." He says and shutters, thinking about how he'd never be thought of as a mischief-maker again.

"Never." I say, and he departs. I sit down on the floor next to Sirius' head and he opens his eyes.

"Nat? Oh, what the Hell happened?" I snort and say,

"You're never going to believe me, Sirius. You're never going to believe me."


	29. Nothing But Silence

**Disclaimer: if you don't hve it by now, just give up on life.**

**HEY! So, this is kind of a depressing chapter, but it's REALLY IMPORTANT because it kind of throws everything out into the open, which is always interesting to see. So after I finished this chapter I realized there is absolutely no dialogue what so ever in this chapter, so whoops. But it kind fo fits, so ENJOY!**

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**Stars. **

It is disturbingly quiet. I don't knock on the door, I never have, but when I open it, no one's there. There's no laughter, no smiles and hugs waiting for me. No 'where are your brother and Sirius', no explosions, and no smell of home-cooked food.

There is nothing but silence to greet me as I enter Potter Manor, alone. As the last relative of Dorea and Charlie Potter, Jamie was asked to go back to the house to renew the wards and check on the house elves, but I had decided to go in his stead, my announcement of which was greeted with a grateful smile from my brother and an approving look from Sirius. He's always thankful to anyone who helps his brother out.

I walk into the Kitchen and sit down in Dorea's old chair. There is a half-drunk cup of coffee that she must have gulped down before they left to help the rest of Godric's Hollow. And next to it, are three envelopes. I pick them up and one is addressed to me, another to Sirius, and the last to James. All three of them are thick, and there seems to be something other than paper in each, as well. I place the other two down and open the one with my name on it

_Our dearest Natalia,_

_If you are reading this, then we are dead. But do not cry, do not mourn, because if we are dead, then it was the time for your father and I to leave you, your brother, and Sirius. And before you get to thinking that because I didn't say brothers, plural, that we don't consider Sirius our son. The very opposite is true, but I see the way you two are, and even if you don't know it yet, that boy will be in the rest of your life. And he will never be able to just be your friend, so he is not your brother, he is…well, you tell us, sweetheart. You are probably taking the loss of another set of parents hard, but know that we will never leave you, or the boys, because we love you, and as long as you keep up with you, we will be there for you, no matter what._

_Now, we must tell you something, something your father left in both of our knowledge before he died. This was something we were to tell you after you graduated Hogwarts, but obviously, that's not possible. Your mother's family, they're not, well, they're not quite what you'd call normal, even by magic standards. There was a reason your parents kept you away from your family, other than the fact they were Dark. The reason was that in your mother's family, the women are all given magical powers, but some are stronger than others. No one's quite sure why, the best guess your father could give us was that you had an ancestor that tried to modify her magic and it was written into her very being, some blast of powerful magic. You mother's family is very old, and very Dark, and are faithful servants of Voldemort. You've had trouble with your cousin, Hayden, and as you've probably discovered, she's not very powerful. And there's a reason. _

_She's three years older than you, and when she was born, she was an exceptionally strong witch, and very promising, and when her little sister was born, she was also strong, but when she was in the hospital, no one was allowed to touch her, because she had taken Hayden's power when she had held her sister._

_Hayden was three at the time and had held the baby, and when she did so, the baby's eyes glowed and the glass in the windows rattled, and she took Hayden's power form under her skin. The Healers had no idea what had happened to Hayden, and the best answer they could come up with was that the girls were both so powerful, and so contrasting in nature, and that the baby had felt something and in a blast of accidental magic, she took the majority of Hayden's magic. After this, Hayden was sent to live with her aunt and uncle, to be raised as their daughter, in the States, where she would be able to go to Salem, and undergo special training to try to rebuild her powers into something that resembles what they could have been._

_Her parents swore that they would not reveal to their daughter that she had a sister, until she was ready. They named their daughter Nat—_

The letter fell out of my hand and I stared at it. Hayden's my sister. That's impossible. Absolutely impossible. But was it? My father was dead before I could remember his face; what if there was a sister that I couldn't remember either? I pick up the letter and continue, severely shaken.

_They named their daughter Natalia Isabelle. And when your father was killed your mother moved you both into the suburbs around Muggle London and tried to make you both disappear, because your aunt and uncle wanted the powerful sister, the one that could change the tides of a war that had not yet begun._

_This is where your power comes from. The wandless, the accidental magic that happens when you lose control over your emotions, it is Hayden's magic manifesting itself, the uncontrolled power of a three year old. It is possible to control, with the right amount of practice and willpower, and it is of the utmost importance to master yourself. Because you are more important than you could possible know right now._

_And so, our dear daughter, the truth of your blood is out: a Pureblood, of a Dark family, and a sister that you never really knew. But do not let this change you. And although we both suspect you have discovered your Dark blood, Hayden's real relation to you most come as a shock, and for that we apologize for those who can't._

_Now we end this letter with a request: take care of yourself, your brother, and most of all Sirius (they boy has no sense of preservation, honestly). There is a war on our doorstep, and whether we would like to admit it, you three, along with Lily, Remus, Carrie, and Lynn will all be on the front lines. Because that is how we raised you, and it's how you are._

_In this envelope, you will find a bracelet. It was given to me by my mother when I graduated Hogwarts, and it has a very special gift. If one of the people you love is in danger, if they need help, it will let you know, and it will tell you who it is somehow, in a way that is unique to the person. Please use it to protect yourself, and those you care about in what is to come_

_And never forget that we love you, darling._

_Love,_

_Mom and Dad_

I slide a bracelet out of the envelope and it is a thick silver cuff bracelet, with garnet gems inlayed into the center in a pattern. I put it on, and there's no doubt in my mind that it's magical. There seems to be an energy other than my own pulsing in the room now and I smile and tuck the letter into my pocket and pick the boys' letters up gently.

I renew the wards, and after the hour-long process, apparate to Hogsmeade, with Dorea and Charlie in my heart, and their words in my pocket.


	30. Something to Fight for

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By the time I get back to Hogwarts, it's dark out, and most of the windows are dark as well, as I approach the castle. Filch is waiting for my arrival in the entryway and I have to yell at him for a solid five minutes before he realizes that it's actually me. I quietly walk up to the Heads' Dorm, thinking about what I have learned. Hayden is my sister, I took her magic, and my family is psycho. Great.

I say the password to the portrait and it swings open to reveal an empty Common Room. I begin to walk towards the stairs to Lils' room when there's a quiet,

"Nat?" I turn around to see Sirius and James both lying on couches, apparently waking up.

"Hey boys." Sirius sits up and pulls Jamie, who was still mostly asleep, into a semi-upright position

"How was it?" he asks and I quietly answer,

"Depressing. I found this for you. There was one to each of us." I hand him the letter addressed to him and hesitate, but hand him Jamie's too, "Give it to him when he wakes up, okay?" He takes them both and says,

"What's that?" I glance down at my wrist and see the bracelet, gems glowing softly, subtly.

"Dorea left it for me." I say, and Jamie groans, falling back asleep completely. I start to walk away and I hear,

"Are you okay? What you did, it couldn't have been easy." I turn back around slowly,

"The letter—it—it said that Hayden, she's my sister. And, when I was a baby, she held me, and I took her magic away. _That's _why I can do the things I can. Because I robbed my sister of her magic." He says nothing for a minute, then,

"Well, there was obviously a reason that you took her magic. What else did Dorea say?"

"That the Healers thought we were too different and that for some reason I took the magic literally, from under her skin." He snorts and looks at me like im an idiot.

"Well it's obvious then, isn't it? She was damn wicked even then and you knew it, so you took her magic so she couldn't do real damage. If you hadn't I'd probably be a Death Eater, albeit against my will, but still." I look at him, like really look at him. It makes me really happy, for some strange reason, that he immediately jumps to that I am so inherently good that I took her magic to keep her from hurting people.

"You can't know that. No one can know that. Hell, I don't even know that, let alone anyone else." He doesn't say anything, then grabs a jacket and says,

"Come on, we're going to go for a walk." He drops waves his wand and the letters from the Potters vanish, and I assume that they go to Jamie's room. I follow him out the door and we silently walk out of the castle, and down to the Quidditch Pitch, which is totally against the rules, seeing as it's almost midnight. We walk out onto the field and I say quietly,

"I've never actually been down here, you know, with anyone other than James. On the field I mean." He sits down on the grass and I join him.

"Yeah, I come here to think. When the castle gets suffocating. So why are you beating yourself up so badly about this? You couldn't control it, and you don't even remember it." I sigh,

"I don't know, it just seems so wrong that someone could take something so important to someone else. She was strong, powerful even, and I took almost all of it, and she even had to go and have training to rebuild her powers, to make them even a little like what they should have been."

"Nat, you didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident. You need to accept that theres nothing you can do about it now, unless you want to give a crazy Death Eater even more power, if that's even possible." I sigh, and I know he's right. I lie down on the grass, and look at the stars. I don't know any of the names, thanks to the fact that I think I went to astronomy a total for four times in the five years I had the class.

Sirius lies down next to me and I ask him, suddenly,

"Why does your family name its children after stars?"

"It's a tradition. It's always been like that and I'm not really sure why. I know my parents named me after my ancestors, and not the stars really." I turn my head to look at him,

"You're not the first Sirius?" he shakes his head, getting grass in his hair,

"Nah, 'Sirius Orion Black, the Third'" I raise an eyebrow and think of the other Sirius Blacks.

"Were they rebellious assholes too?" he snorts and swats at my head,

"Thanks. But no, I'm sure they were both well-respected purebloods of their time." I say nothing and neither does he.

And before I know it, I'm dead asleep, on the Quidditch Pitch, under the stars, next to Sirius Orion Black the Third.

I wake up to the half-light of the sunrise, and the suffocating weight of an arm thrown over me in sleep. I shove the arm off me and poke its owner awake. He makes an unflattering noise and I laugh. Sirius cracks an eye open and I see him smile into the grass, something that now covers us both.

"Wha—what time is it?" He mumbles and I answer quietly, fully aware that our friends will probably have sent out a search party by now.

"Just about sunrise. We should probably get up and move. Lily's going to wake up and freak, thinking that I never came back." He sits up and rubs the back of his neck.

"Shit. I forgot about that. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. But come on, let's go to the top of the stands. I haven't seen a sunrise on forever." I roll my eyes, but allow him to drag me up to the top of the stands, where the Sun is just starting to peek over the castle's towers. I silently watch it rise over the castle, and start its daily journey across the sky.

"_Nat! Nattie! Natalia!"_

"_Padfoot! Come on Pads, this isn't funny! Sirius! Nat! _Oh my God, please don't be dead." We both look at each other, alarmed. I hear him whisper under his breath,

"Evans and Prongs." I add quietly,

"Our absence hasn't gone unnoticed it seems." The screams continue, and we finally catch a glimpse of Lily and Jamie. They stop yelling for us and I catch what Lily says to him,

"They're gone. I—I knew I shouldn't have let her go off to Potter Manor on her own. Ma—maybe if I had gone with her, maybe she'd be safe with us. Maybe they both would be." James puts an arm around her,

"Lils, if she's in trouble, Pads went to go find her, I'm sure of it. I'm sure they're fine, probably just making out in a corner somewhere." Lily rolls her eyes and they both hang their heads in resignation, and as they both start to walk towards the castle, Sirius is unable to watch any longer,

"Oi! Prongs!" Jamie's head snaps around and there's hope in his eyes, even though he can't find the source of his best friend's voice. I grin and yell,

"Look up you stupid Animagus!" they both look up and they grin and run into the Quidditch Pitch, as Jamie yells back,

"Oh, just shout it to the Heaven's, and the Ministry, why don't you!" we both laugh and walk down the stands and Sirius hops the fence easily back onto the field and gives me a knee up, due to my smaller stature. After I finally put my feet on the ground again, Lily and James both tackle us to the ground. Jamie then promptly begins to ream his brother out about not leaving him a note. In the distracted moment Lils whispers,

"Are we done?" in my ear. I shake my head slightly and she smiles and hugs me. Then he whacks me over the head,

"You stupid girl, I thought you were dead." I chuckle and say,

"Please Lils, you're not getting rid of me that easily." She sighs dramatically and flings and arm over my shoulder as we all begin to walk back up to the castle. Jamie and Sirius are running around, goofing off, and pushing each other around. I grin from ear to ear.

With my best friend by my side, and my two favorite boys laughing on the ground, life seems pretty damn good.

This is something I would fight for. This is something I would give my life to save.


	31. Snowfall

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"Nat, I _told _you that you could come home with me for holidays, but noo, someone had to stay with Black and her brother, so don't you dare give me that forlorn look as I pack my shit." I sit on my bed and watch Carrie pack her things into her bag, groaning about the fact it was just going to be me and the boys this break. Well, just me and Sirius, but Jamie doesn't know that yet. Actually no one but Lils, Sirius, and I know that soo…whoops.

"I know, it's just…not going home is hard. They're gone and that scares me." Care sits down on the edge of my bed and wraps an arm around me.

"You know, in the whole Hayden and Black thing, we all kind of forgot that you three lost your parents. It just got kind of lost in the immediate action. And I'm sorry about that. And I know that you usually go to Lily, but if there's anything you need, I'm here, okay?" I smile and bump her shoulder with mine.

"Thanks Care." She smiles a little and gets up, finally closing her bag, "Care? You forgot your presents." She turns to the mass of wrapped objects in her bed and groans, throwing her bag open once more and I swear I hear her mutter,

"Oh, _fuck _me."

A few hours later, I am hiding in the darkness of one of the boys' (I think Remus, judging by the overall cleanliness and slight odor of chocolate) curtained beds, waiting for Jamie. Lils has already flooed home with special permission from Dumbledore, and Sirius is lounging on his bed. Jamie walks in, like clockwork, like Lils said he would, and I hear Sirius say to him,

"Making out with Evans _again_?" I pull a face to myself and roll my eyes. Ugh, gross. There isn't an answer and I shudder. There is a slight crack in the curtain around the bed and I see Jamie walk by. I slip a finger out and wait for him to walk by again.

"Pads, be nice. I really like her."

"Ohh, do you _love her?" _I can imagine Jamie's face turning tomato red.

"No more than you love my sister." he shoots back.

"I do _not _love your sister." I think for a minute. James doesn't have a sis—oh, well this is embarrassing.

"Oh come one Pads, you're so whipped. Just admit it. I see the way you look at her. This whole bet thing's a pity really, you two would be good together. If she didn't think you had ulterior motives."

"Thanks I thin—wait, what?! Oh you've gone around the bend now, mate."_ Anytime now Nat._ Oh, but I'm enjoying this so. I think back smugly.

"Mhm, yeah _I'm _the crazy one." I roll my eyes again and Jamie slips back into my field of vision. I whisper

"_Petrificus Totalus."_ And he promptly falls backwards onto the ground with a solid thud. I see Sirius blindfold him and slip some earmuffs over his ears and I slip out from Remus' bed. I hoist him by an elbow, and so does his brother.

"Ready?" He says and I nod briefly, before we quickly shuffle him to the Common Room fireplace, before the spell wears off. We push him into the fireplace and I say,

"Evans House, the Blue Room." Jamie disappears in a blast of green flames and we smirk at each other. He was going to kill us for this.

"That was really well done Nat, I have to hand it to you." I grin as we both sit down on the couches.

"Thanks. Lucky this whole wandless thing is just kind of happening, no training required. Could you imagine how annoying it would be to try to have to train up skills like that?" he snorts.

"As an illegal Animagus, I can tell you exactly how annoying it is." I concede the point as Remus walks in,

"Hey. Have you guys seen Prongs?" I nod.

"He's off in Lily Paradise for the next two weeks."

"Wha—"

"We kidnapped him, blindfolded him, and Flooed him to Lily's house." Remus raises an eyebrow,

"Does Lily know about this?" I nod and laugh,

"It was her idea." Remus snorts but says nothing except,

"I got to get packing, you guys'll be fine on your own?" we both nod and he departs up to his dorm. We sit there for a minute.

"So, how about this weather?" I say awkwardly. _No more than you love my sister._

"Erm, it's great. Just smashing. Really spectacular." He responds. _I see how you look at her._

"I think I'm going to go."

"Where?"

"Well, I just realized that I have somewhere important to be."

"And where would that be?"

"Uh…detention! I have detention in a minute." I practically sprint out the door, almost hyperventilating. I walk down to the Pitch and sit on the floor of the stands, my back up against the wood guard, to keep students from falling to their untimely deaths. I think, and I think. I know I have some strong feelings for Sirius, and this isn't fair. Not to him. This whole thing is fucked. I stand and square my shoulders, walking directly back to the Common Room, through the now empty castle. I must have been out there longer than I thought if everyone had already left for the holidays. I say the password to the Fat Lady, and I see Sirius sitting on the sofa, staring at the fire.

He glances up at me and smiles a little.

"Hey Nat. What's up? How was 'detention'?" he chuckles a little, but I don't answer his question.

"I'm Jenny."

"Wh—what?" I wince. It looks like I've punched him in the teeth.

"You want a face to put to the name, well, you're looking at her. Congratulations. I didn't want to keep lying to you. So go ahead and hate me. I give you permission." I wave an arm and he doesn't say anything, just walks out the Portrait Hole, shaking his head.

Outside, the first snow of the season starts to fall, covering the grounds, I sink to the floor, quietly, and very, _very _alone.


End file.
